Charlie Wilson's War

Here's a movie I bought for $5 at Target the other day simply because I had some very minor interest when it came out three years ago. I'll summarize it in a nutshell with no real regard for spoilers because it is based on a true story. It actually happened. Pretty recently, in fact. So I'm not spoiling anything. I'm educating you on American history, dammit. For instance, Harvey Milk dies at the end of Milk and the Titanic sinks in the movie Titanic. Anyway, the year is 1980. Charlie Wilson (Tom Hanks) is a Texas congressman who just wants to drink, do coke, bang his hand-selected staff-members, and have an all-around good time. His favorite fuck buddy is a wealthy socialite (Julia Roberts) who convinces Charlie to take up the cause of helping the Afghani people fend of the invading Soviets. Because if you didn't know, the Soviet Union was all about invading Afghanistan in the 1980s. (By the way, why didn't you know? Go read Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns. Or at the very least see Rambo III.) Over the course of the decade, with plenty of help from a renegade ex-CIA (the always awesome Philip Seymour Hoffman), Charlie Wilson convinces the Reagan-era Democratic-led Congress to fund a program that would provide the mujahideen (freedom fighters, if you will) with all the right tools for shooting down Soviet aircraft. And when the American-supplied weapons prove successful in a few instances, the funding balloons from $5 million to $500 million. And in 1989, the poverty-stricken nation of Afghanistan, ladies and gentlemen, became the first power to ever defeat the Soviet Union in any war. That had to be the biggest upset since 1983's Return of the Jedi in which Ewoks - fucking teddy bears - defeat an entire imperial army of Storm Troopers. But I digress. The film ends with Charlie Wilson vouching for just $1 million to be donated to help rebuild some schools in Afghanistan, but Congress wants no part of it; all they ever cared about, of course, was derailing the Soviets in a covert manner. So to ask them to spend on schools even one five-hundredth of what they spent helping destroy them is absurd. The film does not go on to include the ultimate ramifications of what happened in the following two decades - a power vacuum develops, the Taliban takes control, 9/11 happens, and America goes in to settle the score, even further ravaging the country in the process. The real life Charlie Wilson has admitted to feeling at least partially responsible for the events that led to the 9/11 attacks, but Tom Hanks allegedly didn't have the cojones to even portray a character guilt-ridden by such a burden; that ultimate ending was removed from the movie and instead it just ends with Philip Seymour Hoffman wisely telling Charlie Wilson that they haven't necessarily helped the Afghan people at all. And that's the movie. Fantastic performances from the three leads involved. Julia Roberts particularly amazed me, mostly because she used a Texan accent and I don't know if I've ever seen her actually act before. The movie is lighthearted in its tone and full of quick lines and funny moments. And with a runtime of an hour and forty minutes (with credits), it certainly doesn't drag on in the least. I really don't think you can go wrong with this movie, but maybe political semi-biopics aren't your thing. Webber, you're gonna love this movie. (Maybe you've already even seen it. You would.) Oh, and here's something random to end on. This movie was the second time this month that I've seen John Slattery dress up in a Santa costume (Roger Sterling, Mad Men). Go figure.