Stand By Me

Ahhhhh! Only seven minutes left on the clock (east coast time, of course). Got to make this count.

This one is a classic. One that I saw recently at the Sony store and had to add it to my collecting. In short: This was a great coming-of-age movie. I would rate it up there with The Sandlot, only instead of a story about a bunch of kids playing baseball it's about a bunch of kids on the search for a dead body. That's right. Apparently children in the '50s had some sort of fascination with corpses of their fellow peers. Anyways, even if you've never seen this film, I'm sure that you're at least some what familiar with it. After being spoofed on both The Simpsons and Family Guy, it's definitely made its mark.

Oh, shit! Two minutes.

Ummm. Tons of celebrities. Keifer Sutherland, Jerry O'Connell, even John Cusak.

No time left. HOWARD STERN! BUBBA-BOOYEEE!

The Girl Who Played With Fire

Edit! I wrote this on my phone last night, and it was filled with awful typos thanks to my "special" keyboard which picks words for me. I swear it works well most of the time. Anyway, my post is better now! Still short (as to not give away major plot details), but hey, who said posts had to be long.

Great book! This is the second in the Millennium series (I'm not sure if it actually has a series name, but this is how they are titled in my sort of legitimate ebook reader copy of this book). As I recently shared, I though The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo started off a bit slow. This one certainly did not. It begins where our main characters left off. Millennium magazine is doing great after publishing a highly successful book, and they have hired a free lance writer to publish another shocking expose. Lisbeth is traveling and doing her own thing (in the typical Lisbeth way). In her free time she tries to solve complicated math problems. However things take a turn for the worst when a murder hits close to home for all the characters. I don't want to give anything away because I expect Webber to read this soon but I highly recommend this book. It was a great murder mystery and you find out a lot more about Lisbeth's (dark) past. Good stuff!

Scrubs: Season 9

Over a year ago, I lamented the existence of a ninth season of Scrubs in my review of Season 8. I drew parallels between the series and Brett Favre, and I'll point out some erie irony about that later. Anyway, apparently ABC was just as skeptical as I was about a ninth season, as they burned off the shortened order of 13 episodes in the months of December and January, hastily ending the "should have been a full-blown spin-off" experiment without really giving it a chance to succeed. Fine. Scrubs veterans should recognize (from the DVD cover above) J.D., Dr. Cox, and Turk without a problem. So I'll just spend a few sentences on each of the remaining (new) main character depicted above. Starting from the upper left, we have Denise, the only "new" character who we've seen before (in Season 8). I liked her a lot but they kind of messed up her "cold as ice" hot-looking tomboy gimmick by writing in way too many issues and insecurities. Even though she was just an intern last year, she's treated like a full-blown doctor on par with the other three surgeon-masked main characters this time around. I thought Season 8 gave us a lot of great interns (most notably Aziz Ansari's awesome slacker character) and I figured Season 9 would turn those guys into the main characters. Instead, we have a lot of new ones. Just below Denise is her boyfriend Drew, who also happens to be Dr. Cox's new protege. Drew, in a word, is boring. He's on his second go-round of med school after falling on some tough times back in his first stint in the '90s. Because he's been there before, he's kind of like a veteran role model for a lot of the other students, much like Joel McHale does in Community. In fact, he even looks and acts like a poor man's Joel McHale. Below him on the cover is new main character Lucy, who, come to think of it, kind of looks like a poor woman's Amy Poehler on the DVD cover. The Lucy character just kind of spends the thirteen-episode season getting down on herself and then being inspired to keep doing med school. That actress was going to have a tough time replacing J.D. as the show's main character, sure, but I still think it at the end of the day either she or the writers could have done a better job making the character more likable and less hopeless and cliched. Finally, to her right is Cole. If you think Cole looks like a poor man's James Franco, you'd be on the right track - the actor is Franco's younger brother. How about that? Anyway, Cole definitely had the most growth over the season, starting out as a loathsome and unlikable hotshot before the writers toned him down into a general twenty-something idiot with a frat mentality. By season's end he may have been the character I enjoyed the most. So, kudos to Franco and the writers for making him work. Now, as far as the season in general was concerned, I don't think it worked. If you want to look at it as the last season of Scrubs then it was an utter failure, having stripped the main cast from Seasons 1-8 down to two regulars and three recurring members. If you want to look at it as a spin-off then it fails once again, as its not different enough from Scrubs to feel new in any way. At the end of the day, I think, as I've always thought, that this season never should have happened. But that doesn't mean I didn't have my fair share of laughs along the way. (It's still Scrubs, after all, and for any comedy to last nine years on TV it must be pretty decent.) Now, let me get back to the Brett Favre analogy I've been making for years now. Like Scrubs as a TV comedy, Brett Favre has lasted a hell of a long time as an NFL quarterback. But Scrubs kind of petered out with a shortened and forgettable season instead of going away on a high note. And on this exact day, Brett Favre may lose the starting job on the Vikings, also petering out after a shortened and forgettable season instead of going away on a high note (the NFC championship game). And I'm going to see the game live in person in like an hour or two. Will I really be going to see the end of that era on the same day that I saw the end of the Scrubs era on DVD after I've been comparing the athlete and the show for years? That's just downright erie. I suppose such a coincidence would only happen on Halloween.

Wanted

Wow! I don't remember the last time (if ever) that I posted a movie on here. I never was much of a movie watcher. I didn't have many, and then I met Steve. As some of you may know, Steve has a small obsession. He has 100s! So I thought maybe there was something wrong with me because I didn't buy movies. So I started to buy movies. Problem was, I never watched them. I'm more of a watch a movie halfway through on tv type of gal. Many DVDs have gone unwatched! Including this one! I have a certain preference in movies. Ridiculous over the top awesome action movies. And I thought Wanted looked bad. ass. Enough with this anecdotal shit, on to the review!

I will give Wanted this. It had a plot. An ordinary man with an ordinary job gets pulled into a group of assassins. This group works based off a loom. Morgan Freeman interprets the loom into binary which he translates to letters which turn out to be someone's name. Goal: assassinate that person. It's fairly simple. Ordinary guy thinks his dad left when he was 7 days old. Ordinary guy finds out his dad was actually assassinated by a rogue member just mere days ago. Enter Angelina Jolie. Completely one dimensional character with back tattoos who helps him transition from ordinary guy to cold blooded killer in a matter of 30 movie minutes which could be who knows how many "real" minutes.

"I have tattoos"

From there, there are twists. There are turns. There are action packed shooting sequences. I did not think it was a bad movie. I thought it was ridiculous movie! Right up my alley. And now without further ado, the 5 most ridiculous parts of this movie (in order of appearance). You may not want to read if you don't want any spoilers on the movie.

1. The movie begins epically. A woman is shot. A man retaliates. To do this, he winds up (reads: runs back as far as possible) and then launches himself (reads: runs really fast) into a window jumps over a large gap between two skyscrapers, while shooting people in the head. And tumbles into a window on the other side.

"Look at me! I'm jumping through a window!"

2. Ridiculous car driving scenes. At one points a man is standing stationary on a road and Angelina Jolie (aka Fox) spins her car around and drives into him so that he lands in the passenger seat perfectly. In another scene, ordinary guy turned assassin drives his car onto Fox's car so that his is perfectly propelled into the air so that he can make a kill through a sun roof.

"I'm super cool"

3. Curving bullets. 'Nuff said.

4. Shooting through heads. Man, I wish I had a picture of this. In one of the final epic scenes of the movie, ordinary guy shoots someone in the head. Twice. Put his gun through his head. Then shoots other people through the other guys head. It takes human shield to a whole new level.

5. I don't know if I should talk about this because it is one of the final scenes of the movie, and I wouldn't want to ruin this gem of a movie for all of you. So BIG SPOILER ALERT! I'm not going to give any context. But here's the deal. Ordinary guy stands in the middle of a circle. Assassins line the circle with guns pointed at ordinary guy. The option: kill ordinary guy or kill yourselves. One of the members decides that killing themselves would be the better more moral option. So, she takes #3 into use. From she curves the bullett so it curves around the entire circle, the bullet going through everyone's head, losing no momentum, and ends by splattering her brains. HONESTLY! This is so not possible! Not even the least bit!

And that's what this movie is like. Not possible! Not even the least bit! Highly entertaining though.

How I Met Your Mother: Season 5

As readers may recall, last winter I pounded through the first four seasons of How I Met Your Mother, a CBS sitcom that many (myself included) have called the best current show that still uses a laugh track. After seeing Season 5, however, I'm not so sure that praise is warranted. This batch of 24 episodes - the final six or so in particular - just fell really flat. This show has always been one where punchlines and immediate laughs can take a backseat to emotional character-driven storytelling, and for three or four seasons it did a great job playing that balancing act. Loads of laughs, and then a little bit of relationship drama. Funny bits with a sprinkling of character progression and maturity. But it all kind of falls apart at the seams in Season 5. The same cast is there. The same format is there. Something intangible just seems to be missing. There isn't as much progression toward any kind of resolution for any of the characters; Ted continues to date haplessly, Marshall and Lily spend yet another year being married with nothing to do, and Barney and Robin have a short-lived and ill-fated relationship. Wheels are spinning but we're not getting anywhere. And that'd be fine on most sitcoms because most sitcoms are about episodic conundrums and the silly fashion in which they're handled. (See: Big Bang Theory.) But despite its laugh track, How I Met Your Mother has never been a show that just churns out raw humor for the lowest common denominator. And when the long range story progression is absent, this show suffers. Remember, this whole series is ostensibly just one long-winded story about how a man met his children's mother. By the time the final six episodes rolled around, it looked like the writing staff was just hopelessly stuck, and perhaps even bored. Both the story and the jokes felt tired and meaningless. If anything, there was character regression as each of the five friends became less likable by season's end. Say what you want about Friends, but that show - which this one strives to be - took twice as long to ruin itself. Obviously, one bad season doesn't signify a total shark jump. but sometimes a slight derailing can lead to a woeful downward spiral. Five or six episodes deep into Season 6 (currently airing), I'm still watching How I Met Your Mother, but almost begrudgingly. I just think it needs to start taking some risks. All five main characters have grown stagnant and boring, and so has the show itself.

The War of the Worlds

In the spirit of the season, I have chosen to read what is perhaps the most infamous Halloween story of all time. I am talking not about this novel itself, of course, but about the October 30th, 1938 radio broadcast version by Orson Welles (not to be confused with author H. G. Wells) that turned six million confounded listeners into a panicked mob. Yep. The state of New Jersey was under the impression that Martians had landed and were destroying everything. I guess those poor greatly depressed bastards couldn't tell a fictional story from a news report. But that's neither here nor there. What's important is that even though The War of the Worlds was yet another late nineteenth century classic, I actually kind of enjoyed it. Like, maybe even a lot. What's extra pleasant about this surprise is that it never should have been a surprise at all; I really liked Wells' The Time Machine when I read it a few months ago. As was the case then, when I was impressed by Wells' concept of a time machine way back in 1895, I was equally impressed this time around by his ideas about interplanetary travel. Consider that the first man to enter outer space, Yuri Gagarin, did so in 1961, just 49 years ago. This book was published in 1898, a whopping 63 years before that happened. Pluto wasn't even discovered until 1930. NASA wasn't founded until 1958. It's easy to lose temporal resolution when thinking about the past, but guys - Wells was like, way ahead of his time on this one. He wasn't the first guy to tell a story about an alien invasion, but he did so with such attention to detail and then-scientific plausibility. I'm not saying the physics and biology were bulletproof - far from it. Back in those days, it was thought that Mars was red because of red vegetation growing on it, an anachronism that becomes a plot point in the story. But for over a century and right up to this day, many of Wells' original ideas found in this tale continue to inspire science fiction writing and, in some cases, real science. Robert H. Goddard, the father of modern rocketry, was wholly inspired by the fictitious space travel found in The War of the Worlds. But the best part about this book wasn't simply that it was an archetype-defining classic or a piece of scientific genius. What's most marvelous about it is that it's actually a really decent book. Like, well-written with deliberate moods and themes and a pretty enjoyable story. Just as Wells used time travel in The Time Machine to push an anti-industrial agenda, here he seems to take delight in drawing parallels between Martian conquest and European imperialism. So far, the man is two for two at totally impressing me. To recap, he's a science fiction icon who was always at the forefront of creativity in the genre and he managed to tell decent stories laden with political ideologies. What's not to love? Oh, and the now cliche but then clever way that this book ends just makes me hate the end of M. Night Shyamalan's Signs even more than I already did. When an author in 1898 can conclude an alien invasion story in a more scientifically sound manner than a screenwriter in 2002 can, maybe it's a sign that the screenwriter is headed for a terrible, terrible career.

Sam and Max Season Two: Beyond Time and Space

When I reviewed Sam and Max Season One last December, I said I was pretty underwhelmed with the game from a technical standpoint, but the writing was top-notch so I was going to give the second installment a shot, at least for completion's sake. Here it is, and my review is basically the same. The first complaint is the shoddy controls. The Wii would seem to be a natural fit for a point-and-click adventure, but it just didn't work too well. Often I would try clicking on an item only to find my Wiimote start bugging out and click something halfway across the screen. You need to click the ground for Sam to walk to a specific point, which led to a lot of unnecessary difficulty moving him around. I mean, everyone with a Wii has at least one nunchuck, why not make use of that analog stick, or even just the D-pad on the Wiimote itself? Second is the choppy graphics. When I want Sam to run to a point, I click the A button rapid fire, causing Sam to seizure his way across the screen, just barely starting into his walk animation before starting over again a fraction of a second later. I got small freezes all the time, and while none of them were permanent so I can't fault the game much, it's definitely an inconvenience. I realize it's the Wii, not exactly a processing powerhouse, but I've seen so much better. What's the source of these problems? Perhaps the unnecessary jump to 3-D character models. Or maybe I should be playing the game on my PC, where the games originate, rather than the Wii. But after all these complaints, why would I bother continuing with the series? That's no rhetorical question, because the answer is simple- the game did a lot of other things right. The dialog is plenty funny, probably more so than the first season. The plot is very well-crafted too. You might remember my complaints about how Partners in Time wasted its time-travel setup- Beyond Time and Space is so much better about this. You time travel in a few of the five episodes, and events that seem innocuous early in the season gain new significance when revisited later, producing some nice "A-ha!" moments. The puzzles themselves are pretty clever as well. Though a kid's t.v. show was produced out of the same source material, the puzzles here were definitely not child's play. The solutions were tough and often required me to take a look at a walkthrough, but it was pretty fun just to try giving the wrong item to people to see what happens. The game really shines with its completely optional conversations- the bizarre directions and wild tangents some of the dialog trees can take were always gratifying in the end, regardless of whether the story was moved forward or not. So yeah, the writing (the most important part!) here was up to snuff but the poor graphics and controls mean I can't really recommend a playthrough. You'd probably be better served by one of the classics, and so would I. I'm probably gonna eventually pick up the third season of Sam and Max, but before then maybe I can branch out to something along the lines of Monkey Island or Day of the Tentacle. I just wouldn't expect it this year.

The Hunger Games

This seems to be quite the popular entry as of lately, and with Kelsi recently finishing the trilogy - raving about it the whole time - I think it’s my turn to hop on the bandwagon. Considering both Stan and Webber have blogged about this book, I’ll keep it short - no rambling about the plot.

In general, I liked it. It was somewhat of an entertaining read and made itself out to be a real page turner, but I also think - in the long run of things - the book will easily be forgotten. The story seems to be a giant cliche. Every twist and action scene was expected, or - at best - unsurprising. If it was getting too quiet, then you knew something terrible was lurking around the corner. If Peeta was joining up with the bad guys, there was that gut feeling that you knew he was still good. And, in the end, you know our heroes will rise the victors. (I hope I’m not spoiling anything here, but for all of those who have yet to read this, I’m sure you would have come to the same conclusion.) Point is, the book’s predictable. And that’s fine. It’s similarly structured as any successful, commercial screenplay - which is, of course, the next place this guy is headed. It’s pulp, and it’s entertaining. Not only that, but Collins can paint some pretty bleak, violent scenes at times, then follow them up with some teenage Twilight-romance bullshit. No wonder kids are loving this.

Finally, not to nitpick, but I really could have cared less for the writing. It was bland, simple, and stale. Now, I won’t beat it up too much for it’s lack of poetry because this is a teenage novel; hence its location under “teenager” at the bookstore. It’s not trying to be anything that it’s not. It was made to shovel out an enticing story where - as unbelievable as it may be - young children duke it out to the death for the delight of a country on the brink of going under (a combination of The Running Man and Ender’s Game). Like I said, it doesn’t claim to be some triumph of literature. I’ll let the writing slide.

In the long run, I don’t know what’s more embarrassing: That I’m reading these books, or that I actually find myself enjoying them. I might not be able to bring myself to read the next two books during my lunch break... in public. But I’ll certainly dig into them before bed.

Friday Night Lights Season 4

Phew (*wipes brow), I finished this season in time for Friday Night Lights final triumphant return in the critically acclaimed last season which will unfortunately only be taking place on Direct TV. Luckily I have that!

So, I really can't talk much about this season because there are some big ol' spoilers, but as you can see even from the box cover, there are some new faces in the mix. These faces live in.... East Dillon. Who knew it. Dillon has a more diverse and gangster counterpart in East Dillon. Some of the main staples are still there. Riggins is as awesome as always. Slightly troubled, but still awesome. Julie is a senior and looking at colleges. Landry is only a senior (who knew) and then we have the new cast. Second row left, you have Vince a troubled kid with a heart of gold who uses football as his tool to get his life on the right track. Bottom left, Luke McCourty, star running back whose parents are very Republican and own a farm. Bottom right, we have Jess, who I can't think of an all encompassing storyline for. Her dad owns a BBQ place. Landry's on the box too! He's important now! Not featured on the box is another new character named Becky who is in quite a few storylines, especially involving Riggins. Front and center, we have Mr and Mrs Coach. The one constant (oooooooooo Lost reference!) in an ever changing show featuring people graduating from high school and the football team. This season brings a lot of change for them. Tune in to see how they handle it!

It was different. And you know what, I liked it. It stayed true to itself even with drastically different story lines. I have no idea what season 5 will bring us. I'm not allowed to back-blog that, so I'll just have to share my opinions in person. Sigh.

It's over!

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Onwards! So I am logging these in the order I finished them. I stink at posting right away. My one flaw.

Anywho, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo has had a lot of buzz in recent days. I've heard a lot of people say good things about it, and I was excited to read it. Little did I know it was going to be a murder mystery, my favorite kind of book! Unfortunately, in my mind this book started off slow. There were two separate stories to begin with and I had no idea how they were going to converge. Each story had its highlights early on, but there was nothing that could keep me awake when reading at night. About halfway through the book, I think this book got really good. The stories converged and the mystery investigation really heated up. From then on I flew through the book. I came to really like the two main characters. However, I was not happy with how the very end of the book went. The mysteries and what not were resolved greatly, but the book left me wanting more.

So, what to do? Read the next one! I'm in the process, and happily, I can report that it involves some of the same characters we know and love.

Friday Night Lights Season 3

Hello world! It seems as though I took a brief blogging hiatus. But in reality, I just am not good at blogging and working and watching live TV. So much important things to do! So, as per my goals, and the deadline of next week because FNL 5 is returning, I finished FNL3. A few weeks ago. Oops.

Not a spoiler alert. But a plot alert.

Season 2 wasn't bad but it wasn't good either. Season 3 brings FNL back to its glory days. We see some QB controversy. New guy, JD McCoy is slated to be the next big thing. His dad is bonkers though. Controversy ensues. The Riggins family has all sorts of story lines. Riggins and Lyla! Riggins and Lyla! Woot woo. (Side note: Minka Kelly was just named the sexiest woman alive by Esquire.) They are all cute and stuff. Lyla has some family drama going on this season though. Billy Riggins is dating Tyra's older stripper sister. That's pretty fun. Tyra has love life troubles and she is conflicted about life choices. Can she get into college. You'll find out when you watch! Also, Mrs. Coach is now Principal Taylor. What up with that! Honestly, there wasn't enough Matt in this season. He has some story lines revolving around his family members / future, but nothing too substantial. But I do love me some Riggins so it's ok. The cool things they did was give Smash and Jason Street a four episode arc each where they resolve their problems and conclude their story lines. That was nice and all.

Season 3 ends really cool. There's some major tension. There is a vote. And oh boy, are things gonna change in season 4. More to come!

God of War II

In beating the second God of War game, I've finished off the God of War Collection for the PS3 (the games originally came out on PS2). I have to say, anyone with a PS3 that didn't play these two classics should pick this collection up soon. Not only were these two of the best games on the PS2, but they got fancy updated HD graphics and play damn well on the PS3. But I've covered what was so great about the first, let's talk about the second. I suppose what I like about it is that the game never took the easy route, and consistently made things bigger and better. The opening battle against the Colossus at Rhodes is widely regarded as one of the greatest openers in video games. From then on nearly the entire game is one giant level, which I always loved- there's a cool feeling in leaving a room in one direction, progressing for an hour, then eventually being led back to that original room with the ability to go in a different direction. To me it breaks up the linearity that a lot of games suffer from. The abilities here are all completely new- the weapons and magic are all different from the ones Kratos had in the first game, but to me they felt much better integrated. In the first God of War I rarely strayed from the trusty Blades of Olympus (Kratos's opening weapon) but in the second installment I was using everything in my repertoire to fight. The story made sense as a continuation of the first game- Kratos is the new God of War, and a lot of the other gods don't really like him, so he's betrayed and killed. From then on, Kratos uses the help of Gaia to seek out the Fates, go back in time to the betrayal, and set things straight. The only real downside here was the lame plot twist at the end- it even seemed like the game realized what an unnecessary turn it was, and it was hardly mentioned again after the first time. Oh well. That's one of only two small knocks on the game, the other being that combat can get kinda button-mashy at times. But that's no reason not to give this a play. The blend of badass fights and challenging puzzles make it one of the best games of the PS2 era.

From Hell

I’ve read two Alan Moore graphic novels before this one: Watchmen and The Killing Joke. Both of these guys went on to become major successes as motion pictures. It’s obvious as what became of Watchmen, but The Killing Joke served as one of the primary influences for The Dark Knight. Director Christopher cites both Moore’s take of origin of the joker as well as the portion of Frank Miller’s career dedicated to Batman. From Hell also has a feature film counterpart - seated with A-list actors and a reputable team of directors - yet barely made more than $10 million at the box office (according to IMDB.com). I barely remember seeing the movie on DVD back in high school. I guess it wasn’t even strong enough to leave an impacting impression on me; however, I’ve heard this graphic novel is a must read for Moore fans. So, with only one year spent after buying the damn book, I’ve finally sat down and read it.

I really don’t know where or how to begin describing it. Disgusting? Violent? Breathtakingly poetic? Oh, wait... How about I explain the premise. As with the adaptation, the book centers around London during the late 19th century as Jack the Ripper haunts the prostitutes of the dreary East End streets while Inspector Abberline of Scotland Yard investigates his murders. That’s really all the movie and the book share. After this, they depart in entirely different directions. In the film (where Johnny Depp plays Abberline) none of the story - from what I can remember - focuses on Dr. William Gull, the killer named Jack the Ripper. Instead you follow Abberline, a opium-addicted psychic-detective, who falls in love with the prostitute Mary Kelly (Marie in the book) and races against the clock to find Jack before he strikes again, possibly killing his love. What the movie holds dear is to try and keep the audience guessing as to who Jack the Ripper will turn out to be. Moore’s graphic novel does none of that. Right from the first chapter we’re introduced to a young William Gull who we watch grow up and become the renown doctor to the Royal Family, which abruptly concludes as the doctor suffers a stroke that generates the terrifying hallucinations and visions of the future that leads him to his demented downfall. Although Abberline’s hunt for the killer is in place, he’s a very different man from the movie. Happily married, hating his job, and sober (at least with the drugs) he bares a very different man than the one Depp plays. (Also, he resembles more of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Watson than People’s Magazine: Sexiest Man Alive.) As the story dabbles with Abberline’s work, the majority follows Gull on his mission through - what he considers London to be - Hell.

I won’t get into the story any more than that, because I have to recommend this book to anyone who hasn’t read it yet. Although Gull’s murders are terribly graphic and violent, accompanied by an arrangement of nauseating sex scenes between the dirty prostitutes of London, there’s a brilliant story woven here. By the end, you stand wondering whether Gull is truly a genius capable of spiritual enlightenment and escape from Hell (London), or just an insane sociopath.

I think I may take another look at the film adaptation again, just out of curiosity. Could it really be as bad as I remember? Considering the Hughes Bros. directed it (the same team from The Book of Eli) I’m going to say yes.

Left 4 Dead 2

In a way, I agree with Stan's criticisms of the game we tag-teamed over the last week- Left 4 Dead 2. There is no real plot to speak of, leaving the climax pretty unimpressive; the controls aren't nearly as tight as other top FPS games on the market right now; and the gameplay is designed in such a way that emphasizes teamwork until completely changing at the last minute. But that's fine. Because for me, Left 4 Dead 2 even more than it's predecessor is less about the challenge and more about "OH JESUS FUCKING ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE AAAUAUAHG." It's less about precision and storytelling, and more about the simple thrills of surviving the zombie apocalypse. I loved showing up and spraying tons of bullets into waves of zombies, and the crack of the bat taking a zombie's head off just didn't get old for me. Yeah, the gameplay was pretty shallow, and to me there's not nearly as much replay value as other games on the market. Perhaps my enjoyment came from the fact that I didn't have to buy the game (well technically I did, but as a Christmas gift for my brother so it's not the same) and my only real investment was my time. But during that time I had fun, which is all I really wanted out of Left 4 Dead 2. I just wish Valve would get back to the Half-Life series soon.

On a Clear Day

Now here's an independent film. This 2005 drama is set (and filmed) in Scotland and stars an ensemble cast of Scottish actors. The story focuses on a 55-year-old blue collar man who gets laid off after like thirty years of service. He's too old to start a new career but too young to just retire. On top of that, he's struggling with his marriage and has a very tarnished relationship with his only son. Suffice it to say, he's suddenly in the midst of more than just a mid-life crisis; he's at a complete crossroads with no sense of direction at all. One day, one of his friends makes a snide remark about swimming across the English Channel, and all of a sudden, the main character is like, "Oh hells yeah, I'm gonna do that." No one believes him or takes him seriously at first, but after several convincing montages, he's got the support of all his drinking buddies. There are several other side stories going on with said drinking buddies and some family members, but the goal to swim the Channel is clearly the main plot from start to finish. Do you want to know how it ends? Okay. Ready? He makes it across the Channel (after almost giving up when he was almost done but then persevering at the last inspirational minute, of course) and we are left to believe that this will fix his relationship with his wife and son in a more than just symbolic nature. There was really nothing special or out of the ordinary about this movie, but I guess it wasn't bad either. Still, of the two indie films I've just seen, I'd definitely recommend King of California over this one. Feel-good, sure, but totally unoriginal and ordinary.

Fable II

I’m opening up a new category here. The “Failed Back-Blogged.” This one is really just meant for the video games out there; the ones that are just too screwed up they won’t let you beat them. For the first submission ever in this category, I submit to you Fable II.

Have you ever played Fable originally released on the XBOX? Well, if you haven’t, here’s the low-down. It’s a (sort of) sandbox type game where you thrive in this fantasy world where all of your actions - good & bad - have consequences which determine how the game will unfold. A concept we’ve seen here a there (Knights of the Old Republic, Black & White), but this established a new vein in the genre. Although a fun idea, Fable was executed poorly. There were many glitches hampering the gameplay and providing unfair cheats to level up my character. Aside from extended moments of lagging (on a game not even played on the internet) there was one point where I found a re-spawn location for a bad dude who yielded quite a bit of experience for every kill. After about 15 minutes of killing the same character over and over again, I had gathered enough experience orbs that I completely maxed out all of my character’s attributes. Yes, it was fun to do so, but I was also only 60% into the game with everything already accomplished. It seemed pointless to play on, however, I did. And that’s a lot more then I can say for its sequel.

As Fable II was released I was excited hoping many of the glitches in the game would be smoothed out as well as adding a larger world with more choices and paths to play through than its predecessor. A couple of years ago, back when I first sat down with this game, I was initially pleased. The maps were larger with more weapons and clothes to choose from. You could buy property, have multiple spouses. You even had a dog sidekick. Things started off great, and for a while everything was good. Then I noticed that some of the windows that would pop up indicating I press the X-button to speak to someone (or something of that nature) would stay posted on the screen long after the opportunity for said action passed. In fact, days would go by without the window leaving. Then finally after the screen wiped clear again, a new window would emerge. It was as if the game was just continuously giving me the finger. On top of all this, the glitchy walking still carried over from the previous game. Every now and then my character would immediately slow to a crawl then suddenly speed up and race across the map without a moment’s notice. It was as if the game inherited its father’s poor genetics. But, still - as in the last game - I persevered.

At this point, dozens of hours had been dedicated to getting through the game despite all its flaws. I was going to beat this. Then, upon entering a new map to activate a quest, I hit my wall. The quest plays out that you walk into a room (at which the doors close behind you) to talk to a chap who will continue the game for you, but after getting locked in, the game just decides it doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. I did everything I could to try and talk to the guy. Nothing works. Believe me. I spent hours in one dinky room while pouring over walkthrough guides with no relief. With my save made int the room there was no escape even with a restart. Finally I had to call the time of death.

Years passed. Now, with Fable III lurking in the distance, I felt it was time to give this game another try. To give the game every possible advantage I used the new hard drive I receive when I bought an XBOX360 Elite (after my previous lad succumbed to the Red-Ring of Death last summer). I even used a new game that I received as a bonus when I purchased the Elite. The planets were aligned and after a moment of brief meditation, I was ready to play.

Bullshit! It only took me about two hours to begin noticing that damn lagging while walking again. However, it still wasn’t that bad. “Maybe I could make it through this,” I repeatedly told myself, “Maybe this is the worse it will get.” NO! I poured in about 10 hours until I began noticing my character being constantly stuck in lag. It was as if the whole world changed to quick sand. Fuck it. I’m doing it anymore. This game is over. Like a failed relationship, I’ve given him way too many chances and he continuously screws me over. He’ll never change. He’ll always be a retarded asshole who will never amount to anything in life. Now I’m just going to curl in bed with a tub of ice cream and Judy Blume novels while I cry over the idea that I wasted so many hours on that bastard.

There’s only one question that remains in my mind: Will I date his brother?

King of California

Last month I made a big mistake by buying like a dozen new DVDs. There was a huge sale on indie films at Best Buy and I picked up a bunch for three or four dollars a pop - the price of a rental, dammit. But while my wallet escaped the transgression nearly unscathed, it was my movie backlog that took a huge hit and doubled in size. Tonight, I began to right September's wrong by watching the first of many indie films sure to be seen in the near future: King of California. The story here is endearingly simple; Evan Rachel Wood plays a teenager living on her own and makings ends meet while Michael Douglas is her irresponsible and partially deranged father. Douglas has spent the past few years in a mental institution, so Wood is understandably excited but cautious to let him back into her life. Things go well at first but Wood quickly relearns not to trust the man who has failed at fatherhood so terribly in the past when he begins to rack up bills (eventually selling off her car and their house to make ends meet) in order to finance his latest wild goose chase: a quest for buried treasure from the original Spanish explorers. Exasperated and without any real reason not to do so, Wood joins him in his search. Now, if you've seen even just a handful of movies, you know at this point that this particular story will end in one of two ways. Either Douglas will actually find the treasure and be once and for all vindicated in his daughter's eyes, or he'll come up empty-handed but the search will reunite the pair and become some kind of far greater intangible treasure. And I mean, yeah, one of these two things is what happens. But things still unfolded just a little on the unexpected side; although one of those two outcomes is indeed the answer, the film left me saying, "I guess I didn't see that coming." Regardless of how much the movie manages to surprise you, I still think it was a good one. The cast was essentially just Wood, Douglas, and a handful of other actors found in just a few recurring scenes throughout the movie. I mean, this was by no means a knock-out must-see film, but it was endearing and entertaining all the same. To simplify this recap to the point where even Rotten Tomatoes fans could understand it, I'd call this movie "fresh."

Psycho

I rarely review movies here, but a recent cleaning out of my house has caused me to put together a small backlog of DVDs that I haven't watched yet. Among these is a 4-DVD collection of Hitchcock films Trev let me borrow a year ago so that I could watch Rear Window. Window was good, but on Friday night I finally watched another movie in the collection, Psycho, and I feel like it's a better film. Going into it, I knew two things about Psycho that I assume everyone knows- the shower scene where the pretty blonde gets murdered, and the iconic Norman Bates, the creepy motel owner with Mommy issues. But man, the plot surprised me. It took plenty of completely unexpected twists. I won't reveal most of these because I wouldn't want to ruin the story (Seriously, watch the movie. It's ranked #24 on IMDB currently) and I'm surprised I had never heard of the big reveal at the end of the movie- it makes such perfect sense, but Hitchcock throws a few good red herrings out there to throw you off. I really wasn't sure of much until the credits rolled. The acting is fantastic, especially Anthony Perkins in the role he would return to several times in his life, Norman Bates. I expected Bates to be a typical creep, but Perkins made him a charismatic and genuinely likable guy for a good portion of the movie. Surprising! Also surprising was pretty much any death scene. I read on IMDb that Hitchcock specifically reshot some scenes from a different angle because he didn't want to "prepare the audience for a shock." So he filmed death scenes like any other regular scene, just with someone getting murdered in it. Awesome! So yeah, between Psycho and the two Hitchcock movies I have seen before (Rear Window and Vertigo) I have to say I'm damn impressed by Alfred Hitchcock's movies- they certainly have staying power.

Mockingjay

I'm glad this series is over. Mockingjay took forever for me to get through, and most of that lies with its own shortcomings as a thrilling and entertaining book. Webber and I have some long overdue discussion to make regarding the way everything unraveled and ended, but to keep it vague here, I'll just say that I didn't think anything interesting happened until the second-to-last chapter. And by then I was so bored with the story and used to skimming through the dialogue that even when I tried to slow down and embrace the climax, it felt pretty empty and silly. If you've read Harry Potter 7, you probably remember several hundred pages of the characters just waiting around in the woods with brief smatterings of action. I've always pointed to that as a flaw with Harry Potter 7, but perhaps Mockingjay could have been a better novel - and brought better closure to the series - if there was more introspection and less constant war-planning and firefighting. The love triangle that has dominated the series all along felt at its most childish this time around. The lead female character narrated the book with such hopeless and "emo" tones that it was impossible to feel bad for her as she whined about tragedies big and small. She says, "I had always taken the embrace of his arms for granted," in the same depressed candor with which she says, "four hundred children were murdered that night." It seemed a lot like how I expect the Twilight series to read. And as far as the action and plot go, there were a few too many twists and turns for me to appreciate the conflict at hand, which seemed to change every few chapters. I wasn't buying, either, that the teenagers responsible for instigating the violence would also be out on the front lines fighting the battles. For one thing, they're kids. For another, they're important political figures. It all just felt very non-professionally paced and written. Picture the teen-led rebellion in Red Dawn but with a cast of brooding and silently suffering characters straight out of a Final Fantasy game. Weird, right? Perhaps I'm being too hard on this book, but then again, perhaps it could have been a lot better.

Left 4 Dead 2

Wow! In totally unplanned fashion, I have beaten this game exactly one year after beating its predecessor. (Granted, both beatings were Halloween-inspired.) Actually, you can more or less get my opinions on this game by clicking that link and finding out my opinions on its predecessor. But for those of you can't be bothered to do so, here's my two cents: I did not care much for Left 4 Dead 2. The series in general just doesn't seem to be my cup of tea. I get that the teamwork aspect is unique and all, but it can be just as frustrating as it is cool. In Halo, for instance, you can cooperate on a mission but for the most part each man is still responsible for his own survival. Here, you are 100% at the mercy of others to save you from common enemies that pounce upon you or constrict you. No matter how good your teammates are or what their intention is, it's just annoying to have to wait around for them to save their own asses before they can save yours. When teamwork is limited to, "you shoot the guys on the left, I'll take the ones on the right," I have fun; even if my teammate can't kill said guys, I can just help him out when I'm done with mine, or vice versa. But leave the pack in this game and you're toast. Instead, the teamwork comes down to, "holy shit get this thing off my back it is killing me holy shit." There is no, "Wow, sweet shot!" There is only, "What are you doing? Get over here!" I just don't like it. That's my own subjective opinion. But here's a totally objective criticism: as an FPS, Left 4 Dead 2 kind of sucks. There are just too many flaws. Shoddy controls make it such that your most effective combat option half the time is to clumsily swing around a baseball bat or crowbar. And although there are cool melee weapons in this game like a katana and a chainsaw, I don't remember anyone clamoring for a first-person beat-em-up. Yet there seems to be a complete deemphasis on precision when it comes to firearms. Shooting machine guns from the hip is so universally frowned upon in most shooters, but here its almost preferable to using slower range-based weapons. I mean, I did get off a few headshots now and again on zombies off in the distance, but the game randomly generates hordes of enemies that just come right up and maul you. And really, what good is a scope at that point? There's absolutely no story to speak of at all; that's fine - this is a zombie game, after all - but it still leaves you wholly unfulfilled after the final level ends. I just don't like this game too much. From a neutral point of view, I can see what all the fuss is about, but at the end of the day I'd rather be playing multiplayer Halo for the fiftieth time. Perhaps Sween will have some positive things to say in his upcoming review.

Dr Who Season 3

This third installment of the Dr Who series is not my favorite of the group so far. The doctor in this series, the tenth doctor overall, is still played by David Tennant (Barty Crouch Jr). The big change in this season is in the doctors companion. The cute blonde girl, played by Billy Piper is replaced by a black med student, Martha Jones, played by Freeema Agyeman. She was not my favorite companion, she is in love with The Doctor and he does not return the desire so its kinda awkward to watch. The good news is that she is only around for one season and the two of them do get into some pretty epic situations.

Once again the show maintained its ability to keep the viewer interested by bouncing between the past, the present and the future. Some notable episodes include "The Shakespeare code" in which the doctor saves Shakespeare himself from three witches who intend to use his knack for words to enslave the human race. Another Episode 42 makes obvious "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" references (42 being the answer to life, the universe and everything) and to the american drama "24" in which the episode is 42 minutes long and is shot in real time as the doctor tries to save a space station that is plummeting towards an active sun. Notable historical characters in this season include Shakespeare (as already mentioned), William Kempe,Elizabeth I of England, Elizabeth II, Lucius Caecilius Lucundus, and Agatha Christie.

The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo

I have been trying hard to expand my backloggery curriculum. I so far have specialized in children’s literature, most specifically fantasy fiction, but I am slowly sneaking my way into more adult genres. This is actually my first ever attempt to read what I am assuming is a murder mystery novel. Usually things regarding murder and mystery are not my favorite form of entertainment but I actually quite enjoyed this book. I thought it had an ample amount of twists without being overly twist happy. I like that the book was both surprising and often easy to predict. Overall a very non offensive read, the book ultimately has what I can sum up as a mostly happy ending.

I will not, for the sake of my backloggers, ruin the plot of the book but a brief synopsis of it is that it is a book about a man who has been convicted of libel and has been sentenced to jail for this crime. The man, named Blomkvist, trying to uncover a piece of speculative journalism against a financial king pin named Wennerstrom committed a journalistic blunder by printing a piece that he couldn’t absolutely prove. As a result he finds himself alienated from Millennium, the magazine of which he was employed as an editor. A man named Vanger, takes this opportunity to hire Blomkvist for a job in which he is to write a family biography and more importantly try to find new evidence in the decades old missing persons case of his niece Harriet Vanger.

The book also deals with a girl who, as the title might suggest, has a dragon tattoo. The tattoo itself is of little or no significance but the girl most definitely plays a pivotal role in the story. A ninety pound, twenty something girl with a hacker’s knowledge of computers and a complete lack of society’s acceptance, Salander joins Blomkvist in uncovering evidence in a long since forgotten case.

An interesting and new read from me, stay tuned for the second and third books in the Millennium series.

Final Fantasy X

It's been nearly a month since I last posted, but that's understandable. In the time since, I have completed by far the longest game I've ever beaten, the nearly 50 hour Final Fantasy X. In all likelihood with my extra deaths, the game was probably more along the lines of 60 hours. So yeah, I excuse myself for this lack of posting. The next few won't be nearly as long, I promise. Anyway, Final Fantasy X is the fourth game in the series for me, and I have to say it trumps all of the previous entries pretty easily. First off, the graphics. The game came out nearly ten years ago and still looks gorgeous. Also noteworthy is that this came out pretty quickly after Final Fantasy IX but the difference in graphics is monumental. Credit that to the step up in power from the PS1 to the PS2. The characters aren't messy blobs, but look like real people; they also fit in perfectly with the environments, which were more dynamic this time around rather than feeling like static pictures to walk around in. The story here was also perfectly paced. While I was a big fan of the stories is IV and IX (story was non-existant in FFI), by the time each reached their third act, things got way too out of hand and seemed to have nothing to do with the original and much more endearing stories. Seriously, going to the moon? And I can't really explain anything from IX after you get Eiko. Final Fantasy X however had a story that never seemed to explode into something entirely different. Your main character, Tidus, is somehow pulled 1000 years into the future in a seemingly fish-out-of-water type story. Tidus learns of the new machinery fearing culture that has arisen in the past millenium, during which a new evil has emerged- Sin, an invincible beast that society can't stop, and can at best contain for a few years. The story gives some lightweight commentary on religion and even racism, but this was hardly distracting. The meat of this story is the band of travelers trying to defeat Sin. Kudos to Final Fantasy X for not ending the whole thing with a random fight with God, or death himself, or some other vague idea that would make a shitty final boss. My only real beef with the story- the tacked on shitty love story between Tidus and Yuna. Cecil and Rosa had a normal, healthy relationship in FFIV, and I'd say Zidane and Garnet's story never got boring or bad in FFIX, but Tidus and Yuna was really just painful. Scenes like the forced-laugh, the J-Pop lake make-out, and the random sphere toss towards the end made the whole thing mostly confusing. I wouldn't bring it up if a friend hadn't specifically told me "the game''s a love story!" Why couldn't it just be about a group of friends defeating a great evil? Eh whatever. Finally, a comment on the combat- I was a little disappointed that this was CTB instead of ATB (which just means you don't get the little timers next to everyone's name)- I feel like this system is a bit more random and means less strategy. But the battles were still quite fun and every time I died I learned something new that made it easier on the next try. One particular one stands out- facing one bosses final form, you're often turned into zombies, at which point you can't increase your HP in any way. You can remove the zombie status and heal after that, but the boss quickly uses an attack that instantly kills anyone NOT in zombie status. This resulted in a fight filled with sacrifice and lots of planning ahead- hallmarks of a great boss fight! Leveling up was also completely overhauled in FFX- the sphere grid, a genius idea, allows the player complete control of how a character improves his or her stats. It starts off guided, but by the time you get the hang of it you can really do whatever you want. Turn your black mage into a powerful physical attacker. Make your expert swordsman a healer. There were so many options, I loved it. So yeah, overall, this was an excellent entry in the series and a perfect way to start off on a new console for both Square and myself. That's right, I bought a PS2 for this game, my fourth console this year. Yikes.

Halo: Reach

This game came out a little while ago, but I wasn't going to beat it without the help of my good friends and old roommates from North B 412. But with the three of us working full time and balancing other commitments and social activities, it took us a month to "git-r-done." But so be it! It was well worth the wait and earlier tonight we finished the campaign on legendary difficulty and now boast the achievements to prove it. Good times. The campaign was pretty run-of-the-mill as far as FPS stories go, but the relentless air of noble martyrdom kept things quite sad and meaningful in a very manufactured way. The game's epilogue also made up for an otherwise lackluster ending. But enough about the campaign. Let's talk multiplayer. I know I rarely do so in my Back-Blogged posts, but every now and again a game comes out that warrants more than a mere dabble in the online play. And Halo: Reach was certainly one of these games. I have to imagine you've played online Halo if you're reading this video game blog entry, so I won't bore you with any fundamentals or details, but let's just say that Reach improved upon Halo 3 in many, many facets. And Halo 3 was the gold standard (for me) of online FPS play. Gone is the "leveling down" system that penalizes you for losing ranked matches. In fact, gone are ranked matches in general. Here, now, are specialty classes that allow you to use jet packs or super speed bursts, or to spawn with your choice of default weapons. Also, new filters allow you to decide whether you prefer to play with trash-talkers or silent types; with diehards or casual gamers. I have yet to take advantage of them and question how well they work, but I'm sure I'll be thankful for the addition when I'm getting annoyed by some bratty preteen during some future endeavor. See, the thing is, I'll be returning to Reach many times over to play online multiplayer matches. It ain't logging, per se, but it's just too damn fun and irresistible to ignore. I'm sure my days of 3:00 a.m. slayer sessions are just as behind me as college is, but that doesn't mean I won't waste my fair share of nights now and again. In short, Reach had the best multiplayer of any Halo game thus far and one of the better campaigns. It's certainly Bungie's magnum opus and more or less a must-play for all those with an Xbox 360. Remember Reach? I know I will.

Community: Season 1

Thanks to Christopher Columbus, I had a day off from work today. And I spent the first half of it finishing up the first season of Community, the hip and quirky new NBC comedy that debuted last year. The tacky DVD cover doesn't do justice to the quality of the show itself, which is loaded with meta-humor like self-references, pop culture observations, and small-scale satires. It's fresh and unpredictable, but not in an irreverent or absurd way. It'll zig when you expect it to zag. Its biggest downfall is probably its own introversion; like so many smart but ill-fated shows before it, it would rather make jokes for its own fans than for fringe viewers. Arrested Syndrome, if you will. For that reason, I never quite got into it last year in spite of watching The Office, 30 Rock, and Parks and Recreation - the rest of NBC's "Comedy Night Done Right." But I'm glad I gave this season a "blind" purchase and a full viewing, because now I can appreciate Community for all the reasons you can't understand based on a few scattered episode viewings. Of course, for these very reasons, I think this show is doomed in the long term. Its ratings are fine enough so far this year (opposite The Big Bang Theory, no less) to avoid an outright cancelation, but I just don't foresee more than a third season. But that's fine; I'll appreciate it while it's here. Now, a lot of Internet fighting has gone on between fans of this show and of another '09 rookie comedy series: ABC's Modern Family. Frankly, I don't see the point of contention. Different networks, different nights. Hell, very different styles. But I'll weigh in nonetheless. I think Community has Modern Family beaten in terms of cleverness, originality, and growth. But Modern Family is probably funnier in general. Its characters and situations are more relatable and the jokes appeal to a lower common denominator. But don't mistake that for an insult; both shows are great at what they do. I just think Modern Family has more longevity in its tank. I'd say, "give Community a try Thursday nights at 8:00," but I've already admitted that its a hard show to just kind of jump right into without some a priori knowledge, and I'm not about to suggest that anyone dump nine hours into the first season in order to better appreciate the second season. But I will suggest this - give the pilot a try. And if you're on the fence, remember that pilots are never as good as fifth, tenth, or twentieth episodes. Most comedies, especially character-driven ones, need time to grow. And that's the extent of my pitch. It's a good show, but it's not for everyone.

Trine

"Flawless" is a word that quite literally means "without flaws." It is only our frequent hyperbole that makes us believe it is synonymous with "fantastic" or "amazing." That said, Trine is a flawless game. Its just not very ambitious of out of the ordinary. It's a 15-level puzzle platformer that took me three sittings and six hours or so to beat. The concept is simple enough: traverse levels filled with enemies and pratfalls. Collect experience to upgrade your abilities and find barely-out-of-the-way treasure chests for statistical enhancements. You play as a wizard, a thief, and a knight, but only as one at a time. The wizard conjures objects, like boxes and planks, that can help you climb and traverse levels. The thief has a bow and arrow and a grappling hook - she's great to use to get to hard to reach places. And the knight is more or less your stereotypical bruiser. To greatly oversimplify it, you typically use the wizard to solve puzzles, the thief to get around, and the knight to vanquish enemies. You certainly need all three characters, but my favorite was the thief. By the end of the game, her arrows were so powered up that she was easily as powerful as the knight, but with long range and the capability to grapple around the levels. The knight was always best, however, for fending off hordes of enemies, and this was probably due to an innate defensive bonus. The wizard really sucked at combat; all he could do was conjure up boxes to drop on enemies, and at times this became very frustrating when the thief and knight were already dead (to be revived at checkpoints throughout the level). In the end I enjoyed the game a lot and although it was quick and simple it lacked imperfections of any kind. I mean, I did play this on my PC instead of a gaming console, and that's something I typically avoid at all costs. I could easily go off on a rant about this, but why bother? A quick game deserves a quick post.

The Five People You Meet In Heaven

This book came out seven years ago to what seemed like universal buzz and acclaim. My friends were reading it, my sisters were reading it, my grandparents were reading it, and Oprah was probably reading it for all I know. I actually don't have that much to say about it. What you have here is a pleasant little feel-good story that more or less tells the tale of a simple man's life. It was like a less charming and exciting Forrest Gump in that regard - a Benjamin Button, if you will. The story's version of heaven was refreshingly generic and non-denominational. God and church are mentioned, but only in passing, and the whole thing seems a lot more non-spiritual than its title may suggest. The basic gist is that a lonely old amusement park mechanic dies in an accident and spends the "first part" of his afterlife meeting five people whose lives he has affected, for better or worse, at some point along his way. In a very It's a Wonderful Life moral of the story, he comes to realize just how meaningful his life - and every life - really is. And that's really all there is to the book. Short, simple, feel-good, and non-offensive, at least in my mind, to most religious creeds and cultures. In fact, Albom never even describes heaven with any detail at all. He even disclaims, in a preface, to have any knowledge about heaven whatsoever. Right on. In the end, this was no must-read, but at least now I know what all the fuss was over back in 2003.

Alan Wake

I don’t know where to stand on this game. Was is good? Was it bad? Although I was initially blown away at the beginning of this game, now - after viewing its bizarre and uninformative ending - I’m lost. Let me start from the beginning.

When I read Sweeney’s post of this guy and explained it was somewhat like Stephen King: The Video Game, I became somewhat intrigued. I was aware of this game's premise after reading online reviews when it first hit the shelves, but it wasn't until I became ill this past weekend that I finally had the excuse necessary to pick this bad-boy up at the store. And for a while, everything was good. The game starts out with you playing the role of Alan Wake - a burnt out novelist (cough... Stephen King... cough) who’s on vacation in a small town up in the Pacific Northwest. Then shit hits the fan with some boogiemen come out and steals Alan’s wife. Flash forward one week later. Alan wakes up in car wreck and realizes he doesn’t remember a thing about the past seven days. Even though the darkness is coming in, Alan must find his wife and figure out what the fuck just happened to him.

Ok, so things are starting off great. I’m loving story, so far, and am really getting into the gameplay. I’m pretty sure Sweeney touched upon this, but let me reiterate. The game functions with the notions of Dark vs. Light. As you run through dense forrest environments, bad guys (named: Taken) jump out at you attempting to rip your head off. With your trusty flashlight and revolver in hand, you blind your foes with light then shoot. A fun and slightly original idea for gameplay. In this game, however, what starts out fun and intriguing usually ends confusing and repetitive. You find that 70% of the game has you running through the same forrest environments as you make your way from point A to point B going through the same battles as always. And by the time you reach the ending of the game... Well, I’m not going to ruin the ending for any of you, but after conversing with Sweeney on the matter we both agree that there is little sense to make of it. My guess: We are going to see an Alan Wake II sometime in the future to explain all this.

Although it may seem like I’m shitting on this game, I should clarify I really enjoyed playing this. The ending might be frustrating, but the gameplay - blinding your foes with light, blowing them to bits - is great fun. You have enough options with the flare gun, flash bombs, shotgun, and hunting rifle that you can cap your enemies in a variety of different ways. But your options are just enough. They could go more. Same with the villains. You've got Taken-men, Taken-birds, and Taken-inanimate objects. Pretty basic, and leaves you wishing for a little more.

Also, I thought this game was a nice blend of humor and horror. Most of the time I was genuinely excited/scared waiting for guys to jump out at me or just exploring the aftermath of some horrible attack - knowing something is waiting for you on the horizon. Then at moments the game changes its tone. There’s one in particular where you stand on this stage of a rock show as pyrotechnics flare up all around you, blinding your foes while you run in circles gunning them down. It’s overkill. And it’s awesome. Something so over-the-top you can’t help but laugh.

I guess that’s what I really admire about the game. Rather than judging it for its cons of being repetitive and confusing, I need to look at it as one exciting adventure. Although there are some flaws, I guaranty it is still nothing but fun and definitely an appropriate play for the Halloween season. And about the story, I’m just going to let it go. It was at least compelling enough to get me to the end. I just wished the ending was clearer. Hopefully there will be some sense made in the sequel.

Frankenstein

I've got some words to say about Frankenstein. Some are good, some aren't, and some are just going to correct some misperceptions I'm sure plenty of people out there have about this story and the monster who has become a pop culture mainstay. In fact, let me do that last part first. When many people hear the name "Frankenstein," they associate it with a big green man with an enormous forehead and bolts coming out of his neck. Veins and stitches abound and typically the eyes are half shut in a state of zombie-like stupor. Does this image work for you? Well, it shouldn't. The original monster from Mary Shelley's 1818 gothic horror classic is big and veiny, but the similarities end there; Shelley goes on to describe the monster as having flowing black hair, rippling muscles, watery eyes, and a sickly translucent yellow skin incapable of completely concealing the monster's inner organs from view. Most importantly, while the pop culture "Frankenstein" is clumsy and stupid, Shelley's monster is athletic and intelligent. It is truly a terrifying creature in this regard - a large, powerful, quick, hideous being capable of conversation and emotion. Oh, and this could be common knowledge, but in the book, "Frankenstein" is the name of the monster's creator; the monster itself has no name, and is often referred to simply as "Frankenstein's monster." I must credit Shelley and her novel for having a much scarier antagonist than the semi-lovable goon we know as Frankenstein today. I also credit the book for being much more than just another horror story. There's a whole lot of science fiction, psychology, and sociology rolled into the novel that give it a little more character and flair than I've come to expect from 19th century literature.  Unfortunately, the story was not without its flaws. The narrative itself was not something I would call "well-written." Consider, for instance, that the word "endeavour" was used fifty-six times in twenty-four chapters. I've come to expect superfluous sentences as the norm from the 1800s, but things really started to feel weird when the monster itself began to speak with such pomp and dignity. Of course, perhaps this was only meant to further drive home that Frankenstein's monster struggled with his own humanity, or lack thereof, and also his place in society. At times the story felt stale, dull, and predictable, but for me to sit here in 2010 and point to an 1818 novel's predictability as a shortcoming is asinine at best. So I won't. Suffice it to say that although the conflict and thematic content are memorable, the plot itself just isn't, at all. Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes, Frankenstein most certainly is another story within a story. But this time around, that tired trope didn't even bother me. Most likely that's because the nested story tied into the framing narrative at the end in a not-entirely-pointless kind of way. But I have no defense for the story within the story within the story. Yeah, seriously. Shelley went there. All in all I think Frankenstein was an interesting, albeit flawed, read. And that's more than I've been saying of most other 19th century literature as of late. Next up will be another Halloween-inspired pick: Bram Stoker's Dracula. I'm overcautiously pessimistic.

One Way Out

Ever wonder what would happen if Jackass ever came to the Discovery Channel? Yeah, well check out this television show and you’ll get your answer. The show revolves around this very simple idea: Place expert escape artist Jonathan Goodwin in a unique and dangerous challenge to escape from every episode. The challenges vary from him having to work his way out of a locked chamber while covered in bees, or having to break free from handcuffs before a hoard of ostriches peck away at his corn and honey covered body. Most of the time he manages to succeed. However, you can always guarantee he’s going to walk away with more than just a few scrapes and bruises.

Each episode is divided into three segments. The first two segments are Goodwin’s attempt to understand the elements he’s going to be battling against. For instance, let’s say he wants to plan to escape from a burning post like a witch being burnt at the stake - this actually happens - he may make two attempts to understand how painful and distracting setting yourself on fire is. See... he’s learning; hence Discovery Channel. Then the final segment culminates into the finale where he sees if he can actually escape from the major challenge he has laid out before him. Like I said earlier, he doesn’t break away with success... but damn is it entertaining.

The best episode - in my humble opinion - was the pilot episode. Goodwin decides he wants to build a mock setup of an typical office room, then flood it while he’s lock in the supply closet. The main event isn’t really what I find amazing about this episode, but rather one of his initial tests. Goodwin decides he wants to see if he can focus while trapped underwater, so he constructs this strap in a bath tub that goes over his throat and is then weighted down with an anvil outside the tup. The goal: Free his braced hands, then pull up some slack in the rope to free his head and jump out of the tub. He sets up some stationary cameras around his bathroom and then pulls his (surprised) helper in to supervise. Goodwin manages to quickly do away with the hand restraints, but finds he’s too weak to pull up the rope. Rather than just calling it quits there, he begins to flail about with his partner just starring on doing nothing. Eventually he pulls the plug and squirms about as the water slowly drains down to a level where his lips break the surface of the water and he can finally breath. It was intense, and a little scary that his partner didn’t even budge when it began to look like the guy was drowning after being under for over three minutes.

Anyways, I could go on and on about the wacky stuff this guy does, but if this sounds interesting to you, I suggest you see it for yourself. It’s on Netflix. Check it out.

Oh! Also, I’m not completely sure if the show was canceled or not because it did just premiere last year. So Goodwin may return for more pain. Let’s hope he does.

Waxwork II: Lost in Time

When we last left off, our heroes (Mark and Sarah) had just barely made it out alive from the wax museum as it burnt to the ground - killing all those horrible monsters from within. If you remember from the last blog, as they stumbled away into the night, a severed hand crawled out from the rubble and chased after them. Before I go any further, I need to point out two things. Although this movie picks up right where the last one left off, there are two jarring differences that makes me wonder whether or not anyone working on this movie even watched the first Waxwork. Although the original director, Anthony Hickox, has returned behind the camera bringing with him Zach Galligan, the same actor who played Mark from the last film, it seems as though they had some trouble snagging Sarah. So instead of getting a similar looking actress for Sarah, he got... Well, just look below.

Before:

After:

See the resemblance? Yeah, fuck-up number one. Number two: Changing the social class of the kids. I hope you also remember that all of the kids introduced in the first flick where of wealthy status - they owned butlers, fancy clothing, fast cars, the works. After Mark and Sarah climb into the cab and drive away (the severed hand clinging to the bottom of the car) they arrive at Sarah’s apartment building. Seemingly gorgeous on the outside, but from within it looks as though it’s some sort of condemned trailer park. Busted walls, rats, torn up carpet. It’s disgusting. Oh, and Sarah apparently has an alcoholic stepfather now who has no hold-ups about domestic abuse. Even Mark’s status has altered. Instead of being this suave asshole, he starts sporting this leather jacket and ragged jeans looking as though he wants to become Indiana Jones... Eh, I’m sorry. Let me get back to the plot for a second.

This film’s premise is fairly simple (but knowing me, I'm going to spend way too much time explaining it). After Sarah returns home for a beating, the severed hand sneaks into the apartment with her and eventually kills her stepfather in one of the most pathetic fight scenes ever. Sarah is framed for the death of her stepfather, and without the severed hand (she pulverized it in her garbage disposal) there’s no proof that her wacky story is in fact the truth. Struggling to find a way to prove Sarah’s innocence, Mark returns to Sir Wilfred’s (the crazy, old coot in the wheelchair who died in the last film) and stumbles upon this video will that leaves Mark with his most precious item: a magical compass. How Sir Wilfred would know that Mark would return and need this to help prove Sarah’s innocence is beyond me, but we’ll suspend our disbelief for now. With the compass, Mark opens a door to another world that he and Sarah fall into. While tumbling down the rabbit hole (this whole film hinges off Lewis Carole references... poor Lewis Carole references) Sarah is abducted by a winged-creature leaving Mark to save her... once again.

The compass transfers Mark from one world to the next - each world being an homage to a famous horror movie (Alien, Godzilla, Frankenstein, Day of the Dead, ect.) Mark bounces from one world to the next until he finds Sarah being held captive by this Medieval sorcerer who he must battle with to free her and bring her back to the real world.

Now, before I sign off, I must point out the two main highlights of this abortion. First: Bruce Campbell. In what was easily the best scene of the movie, we find Mark stuck in The Haunting - an old black-and-white horror film about a house with ghosts. Bruce plays the cocky professor who mysteriously goes missing until Mark finds him in the attic like this:

This film takes turn to comedy here where Mark continuously drops Campbell to the floor, squashing his exposed, mutilated chest. It reminds me of a three stooges gag, and totally redeemed the rest of the film.

The next highlight - and I should say the reason why I started watching these films in the first place - is Drew Barrymore’s scene. Coming into this, I was so curious as to how/why this experienced, A-list actress would stoop to Bruce Campbell level acting. The fact of the matter is that she’s barely in the movie for 30 seconds. In the final fight scene, Mark has a sword fight with the evil sorcerer while jumping from one world (movie) to the next. During this time, there are quick shots to a teenager Barrymore who’s either cowering from Nosferatu or lurching around like a zombie. You’re almost not even sure if you saw her at all. Then, checking the credits, her name doesn’t even appear. Doing this film must have been either a fun experiment or horrible mistake on her part.

All-in-all, this film was more watchable than the first. However, this one was definitely more corny with its horror teetering on the edge of comedy. Also, I’m still confused as hell as to why this had to be a sequel to Waxwork. Although the cover shows the old villain Lincoln, he’s not even in the movie. In fact, there’s nothing even wax-related in the film. This could have been a completely independent movie, but I guess studios knew they had to make use of all those Waxwork fans out there.