January 25, 2018

Super Mario Odyssey


Oh hell yeah, Stan got himself a Switch. (No, Stan's mom got him the new Nintendo console for Christmas. What is this, 1997? Hey, I ain't complainin'!)

I mean, no bones about it, Super Mario Odyssey is absolutely amazing. I went over each and every world with a fine-toothed comb before beating Bowser and unlocking, like, just as much content as I'd already played through, and man am I already looking forward to going back to playing this game one day. There's just still so much left to do! I'll never do it all, but I'd love to do a lot of it!

In the meantime though, there are other games to play. Gotta keep going if I'm ever going to clear out that backlog, you know?

But seriously, this was a whole lot of fun, and just the best platformer I've played since, of course, Super Mario Galaxy and Super Mario Galaxy 2. Good on you, Nintendo.

The Civil War: Season 1


Ah, damn. Watched eight of the nine episodes of this thing like two weeks ago and just flat out forgot to finish it. (Don't blame me! The eighth episode ends with Lee's surrender.)

I really loved the Vietnam War documentary a few months ago on PBS, and I decided the series that put Ken burns on the map was one I was long overdue to watch. I liked this a lot. Trouble is, there are only so many photos of the Civil War (thanks, Matthew Brady) and obviously there's no video or audio recorded, so eventually this grew just the slightest bit tedious to watch and listen to. Like, damn, I absolutely love me some Battle Hymn of the Republic, but it was one of maybe three musical motifs this series just kept, kept, kept revisiting. (The other two were some real generic-sounding Oregon Trail menu music samples.)

I'll also say, for the absolute bloodiest war in American history, this whole documentary was just a little rose-colored. So much respect was given to the soldiers on both sides and their wry journal-recorded observations that the whole thing felt a little romanticized for a conflict that, you know, killed 750,000 people, a full five percent of the entire male population of the country.

But yeah, I'm all in on Ken Burns. Gotta imagine I'm gonna love his Baseball whenever I finally get around to it.

January 16, 2018

Submission: Season 1


So Marissa and I got a free month of Showtime, which has been great for catching up on movies. On the television front, thoguh - apparently this is what I've been reduced to. Not catching up on Homeland or Billions or Shameless or anything, but this fucking interminable six-half-hour miniseries someone made as a response to Fifty Shades of Grey. It's BDSM-filled softcore porn. It's nothing more! But it's still better than Fifty Shades of Grey.

I started into this thinking, okay, neve even heard of this, this could be decent. But, nope! Exactly the production value and acting caliber you'd expect from softcore porn, but with a few chains and whips and nipple clamps. Oh and there's one character who's just into a poly relationship.

Good news is, 2018 can only get better from here!

January 1, 2018

The Crown: Season 2


Last one of the year! (Yes I know it's already 2018, shut up.) Actually, wasn't The Crown the first show I posted in 2017? No matter - this is an entertaining and incredibly easy-to-watch show about the early reign of Queen Elizabeth II that's just so much less boring than you can imagine. That doesn't mean it isn't stiff and rigid and everything - this is British royalty, after all - but the way it uses different episodes to focus on different aspects of the monarchy in the 1950s and '60s is impressive, and I'm always a sucker for a good historical drama. (Turns out I'm a sucker for a lot, I guess.) Anyway, give The Crown a shot if you haven't already. You might be surprised by what it is and what it isn't. (Then again, you might not be.)

Planet Earth: Season 2


Stunning, gorgeous, you name it - Planet Earth II was absolutely every bit as breathtaking as its predecessor. Arguably, it's even better, what with camera technology advancing to a point where hidden cameras and drones are able to capture events this time around that no one could have possibly filmed back in the arly 2000s. I'm a sucker for gorgeous nature shows, what can I say? I'm just glad this made it to Netflix in time for me to see it in 2017. Blue Planet II comes out in 2018. Or rather, it's already out in the UK, and it's coming to BBC America in a few months. Will that, too, be a Christmas Day Netflix arrival? I already can't wait.

Black Mirror: Season 4


Black Mirror is great, and it's probably one of my favorite shows of the decade, but as an anthology series it is completely beholden to its individual episodes. So what I'm going to go ahead and do is react to all six epidoes from Season 4, individually, below. Spoilers obviously follow!

USS Callister
No surprise that the star-studded Star Trek episode is what they chose to go with for the opener. This was plenty enjoyable, a nice appetizer of sorts, but its main technological "what if" - the real hook for any Black Mirror episode - is just "what if a digital copy of yourself were sentient, just like you?" This was also one of the hooks in the Christmas episode with Jon Hamm and the beloved "San Junipero" episode, and to a lesser extent in the Domhnal Gleeson episode from Season 2 and the Wyatt Russell episode from Season 3. What I'm saying is, come on, think of something new, Black Mirror! There are other techno-futuristic bents that can scare the living shit out of someone. Props to the actors here though, and to the writers for making Jesse Plemons just a completely detestable angry fanboy nerd. Victims of '80s bullying tropes no more, I'm all for treating those people like the villains they are, going forward.

Arkangel
So, I saw one piece on Vulture call this the best episode of the fourth season, and I saw another piece also on Vulture call it the single worst Black Mirror episode of all time. I am - shocker - somewhere in between, though probably more positive than negative. This one's all about parental guidance and parental control features taken to their logical extreme - a monitoring system that not only tells you where your child is at all times, but can give you a live feed into their point of view. It progresses a bit obviously - of course the rising action here would involve a mother witnessing her teenage daughter having sex and taking drugs - but it's also vintage Black Mirror in its singular focus on a potential near-term technology and the way it'll surely ruin our relationships and lives.

Crocodile
Oh shit, Iceland! Love Iceland. Anyway, this one's dark! And not just because it takes place during an Iceland winter. Not really a whole ton to it beyond how if you break the law you've got to keep breaking the law to cover up that you've broken the law. This is one thing when it's like, tax evasion, but quite another when it's murder. It starts with an accident and a poor decision, then there's a cover-up murder, then before you know it it's a goddamn entire family of innocent people, killed in cold blood. Where's the technological aspect, though? It's here, but it doesn't really have a ton to do with the exponential murder spree; it's just a little chip that reads your memories - faulty though they are - and extracts information from them for things like insurance claims. Thing is, that's just a security camera! You're just turning people into faulty security cameras here - and it'd be one thing if that ended up being part of the plot, this idea that someone was being wrongly convicted of a crime because of someone else's faulty memory, but that's not where this one goes, at all. A fine episode, really, but a wasted opportunity to play with the ramifications of the techonology introduced! I'm nitpicking though, and I do also love the idea of an automated pizza delivery stand truck.

Hang the DJ
Here's this season's "San Junipero," right down to its spot batting fourth in the lineup. It's one of those classic episodes of Black Mirror that presents a weird alternate version of our reality and slowly pulls back the layers until you understand what's going on - another thing it has in common with "San Junipero." One thing that tickled me about this one's twist ending was the absolute triumph of parallel computing, or whatever the hell was going on there. So many Black Mirror episodes have played with the idea of time dilation in a digital world, where what feels like one second to us might be a thousand lifetimes to a sentient piece of code. Here, that's played backward, almost, and the months-to-years-long story we've been watching turns out to be just one in a thousand simultaneous intricate simulations in the near future's best Tinder-like algorithm that decides, instantly, how compatible two people are. The twist is, sure, a bit corny, and some of the details of the episode begin to fall apart after a brief retrospection, but I still loved this episode and loved its ending - perhaps the sole truly happy ending of any Black Mirror episode. (There's a dark, dark reading of the "San Junipero" epsidoe that I sort of half-subscribe to. We can talk offline if you're interested...)

Metalhead
I was skeptical when I heard the new season would feature a black and white episode, but goddamn was this a beauty. Good call, director David Slade! This is spare and simple, and reminded me a great deal of "White Bear" not only for its penultimate placement in the season but for its stark and harrowing story. In a vague post-apocalyptic world, a few human survivors try to eke out a living without being hunted down and killed by the "dogs," a bunch of drone robots equipped to kill any human on sight. This was better than, like, the entirety of The Walking Dead combined, and I'll never look at those Boston Dynamics robo-dogs the same way again. Holy hell, no!

Black Museum
Much like "White Christmas" before it, this is an anthology episode in its own right, laying out a smattering of somewhat connected vignettes before tying them all together with a neat little bow at the end. Among other issues, here, again, is the idea of digital "people," or sentient code, and this episode goes as far as to lampoon the idea of the ACLU dictating that code snippets have certain rights, too. For me, this episode was fine - just fine, really. A lot of cool ideas flying around, but not really a very memorable episode linking them all together.

And that's Season 4! It was worth the wait. Here's hoping there's a fifth season - but also, after churning out twelve episodes in fifteen months or so, I'd be okay with Black Mirror dialing back a bit and making sure it really has something new to say or explore next time it comes back. I mean, the idea is fascinating, but "sentient code" philosophy is such a far cry from the speculative fiction this show used to, and still can, excel so well at.