New Super Mario Bros. Wii

I beat this game yesterday, vanquishing the final boss (no spoilers here - it's Bowser) just after midnight. But, in a Back-Blogged rarity, I opted not only to finish this game, but furthermore, to complete it, collecting every star coin in the game (there are three in each level). Collecting all the star coins in a world unlocks a bonus level. Only today did I finish these eight bonus levels (collecting all three star coins in each one). Why did I do this? Well, truth be told, I actually beat this game a couple months ago back at my apartment on campus. It just wasn't my copy. Upon receiving my own game disc for Christmas, I decided I would one up myself, not only beating the game but completing every level along the way. The game itself is a pretty standard 2D platformer. It's very similar to the similarly named New Super Mario Bros. for the DS that came out a few years ago, but all content is entirely new. The games are most assuredly separate and unrelated. And that's a good thing, because I didn't care too much for the DS game when I played it a little over a year ago. This one, however, was a very enjoyable experience. The big difference? Teamwork. Well, that's being generous. "Passive aggressive cooperative multiplayer" rings more true. Yes, New SMB Wii can be played with up to four players at once. But as the saying goes, three's a crowd. (And four is just plain chaotic.) I've played with eight other people total and can assure you that every multiplayer session goes the same way. When two people are playing together, they're really working together. "You cross that chasm, and I'll stay behind in case you die and need to respawn." "We can reach that star coin if you jump on my head." Teamwork is the name of the game, and even though one player typically assumes a leadership role, there's always at least somewhat of a sense of camaraderie in play. Even when I found myself with an absolute novice for a teammate - and trust me, I often did - I was always happy to have a partner. It may be easy to get frustrated with a less-skilled teammate, but it's even easier to work with said teammate to reach star coins that require the utmost skill and patience when going at it alone. There's no question: two heads (and virtual bodies) are better than one. But "the more, the merrier?" Hell no. Perhaps a well-oiled team where everyone knows their role would be a force to be reckoned with, but I played plenty of four-player New SMB Wii and rarely if ever did an abundance of players make for an easier time. There are just too many cooks in the kitchen, so to speak. Two people will jump for a star coin or power-up, collide in midair, and die. A platform will become overcrowded and fall without anyone having enough control to jump away. In general, yelling happens. Typically it's comical or light-hearted at first, but before long, true blame games will emerge and at least one person will get at least a little pissed off. That's not to say it isn't fun. It is! The game itself is, as a classmate of mine said, "What Mario Party should have been." Allow me to go over a few of the typical player types you'll find in any four-man New SMB Wii crew. First, you've got the professor. The professor lectures people. "See, what you should have done there..." is a typical way for him to start off a sentence. He's typically decent enough at the game to know what he's talking about, but he can be a real pain in the ass to play with because he's always telling you how to play. Whenever he screws up - and he's only human, so he will - the rest of the group lunges at him verbally with biting sarcasm. Usually a professor learns very quickly that no one will want to play with him if he doesn't cut the shit. Next, we've got Usain Bolt. This guy will take it upon himself to sprint forward, full speed ahead, more or less daring the rest of his squad to slow down. He's a nightmare to play with as he'll inadvertently (but unapologetically) kill his teammates by getting them caught between the edge of the screen and a hard place. Sometimes it gets to the point where he's almost intentionally doing what he does just for the sake of killing people. But that role belongs to the saboteur. The saboteur is someone who has become bored enough with the game that he finds pleasure in intentionally causing his teammates harm. A saboteur specialty is to pick up a teammate and throw him off a cliff or into an enemy. Obviously, saboteurs are few and far between, as no one wants to play with one, and being one gets old pretty fast too. We've also got the pack rat. He's the guy who hoards power-ups and extra lives even though his teammates need them more than he does. Sure, it's gamer nature to chase a mushroom down and grab it, but when you're already capable of shooting fireballs, why not let your near-death ally take a power-up? And then there's Captain Hero. Captain Hero is the de facto leader of operations. He's all about the glory. "You guys wait here; I'll kill these eleven enemies," he'll say. To his credit, Captain Hero is usually the best player in a foursome, and it only makes sense for him to take on the biggest challenges. But by telling his teammates to stay behind while he does everything exciting, he's only hogging all the fun. Now, I will admit to having been guilty at one time or another of playing the part of every role I've just gone over. But there's one thing I've never been: the worst teammate type there is. I'm talking, of course, about the panic bubbler. "Bubbling" can be done by pressing the A button. When a player does this, he voluntarily opts out of the action for the time being, surrounding his character with a bubble and floating aimlessly around the screen. He can take no damage in this state, but he's also of no use to the team whatsoever. (Also, whenever a player dies, he'll come back in a bubble.) In order to escape from a bubble, another player needs to pop it by making physical contact. Of course, if everyone is either dead or in a bubble, it's game over. (Well, "level over," at least.) Bubbling has its uses. If, for instance, a star coin hovers precariously out of reach over a ledge, a player might make a running leap for it, and after collecting it, press A to bubble up and save himself from dying. Likewise, if someone finds himself way behind the pack and about to die, he might use the bubble to catch up to the group while avoiding damage. But when the going gets tough, you want your teammates to have your back. Even if two or three people get killed by a troublesome part of the level, the team will be fine as long as just one person remains. Unless, of course, that person is a panic bubbler. The panic bubbler will press A to cower away inside his bubble at the first signs of danger. He'll let his teammates dispatch of the danger and make the difficult leaps, and then he'll say "wait up" as his bubble saunters over once he's out of trouble. He's a coward. Often, his cowardice goes unnoticed, as bubbles are a fairly common sight in many four player games when the chaos is high and the deaths are many. But nothing sinks a team's spirits worse than losing a level because one person was too afraid to fight. Every time I saw someone panic and press A despite being the last living character, part of me died. Never was I more disappointed in a peer than I was in a panic bubbler. Even a saboteur is more tolerable than a dirty, good-for-nothing panic bubbler. If there's one person you don't want to go to war with - one person who doesn't have your back and will abandon you at the first sign of danger - it's him. Whew. Sorry. I really needed to get that off my chest. Anyway, this game is a great one and I give it four out of four stars. It's a "should own" (if not a must own) for anyone with a Wii. Just know that it's best enjoyed with friends (even though it can be easier at times to go at it alone than at maximum capacity) and it's really short and simple if you're not trying for star coin count completion. One final thing I need to bitch about - why the red case? Every other Nintendo Wii game out there comes in a white case. Why break that tradition now? Why make it so that New SMB Wii sticks out like a sore thumb when lined up in a gamers' collection with all his other Wii games? Nintendo has pulled this shit before with cartridges (think of the golden Zeldas, the cool black SNES Killer Instinct cartridge, and all the different Pokemon hues), but that was fine because, well, they did it often enough not to make it a rarity. But this game? Why? I just don't get it, and the perfectionist in me hates that I now have a patch of crimson in the middle of my otherwise pristine Wii game shelf. Oh well. I guess it doesn't matter. New Super Mario Bros. Wii was a great game, red case and all.