Léon: The Professional

Before I even start talking about this movie, it's quiz time. Name the then-child actress from this 1994 movie, pictured below.

Maybe the rest of you can see it right away; it's Natalie Portman. I'm sorry. I know this shouldn't blow my mind - lots of A-list actors start their careers when they're young, and lots of people look a lot different before puberty than they do afterward - but it blows my mind all the same. I was about thirty minutes into this movie when I said to myself, "This kid is annoying as hell. I wonder if she ever worked again after this movie." The role was just so angst-ridden and hardened and cynical, and I was wondering if this actress had grown up to become some sort of character actor whose specialty was badass gritty anti-heroines in the vein of Sarah Connor or Ellen Ripley or basically any role Michelle Rodriguez has filled. Nope! Natalie fucking Portman, one of the most sweet and wholesome actresses in the business. Mind blown.

Anyway, now that that's off my chest, let's spend some time talking about the movie itself. It wasn't bad! It's a French-made English language movie about a professional hitman and his apprentice. (Again, that's Natalie Portman. Young Natalie Portman played a hitman's apprentice.) The whole thing starts when Natalie's dysfunctional and mean-spirited family is murdered in their apartment in cold blood because her father pissed off the wrong corrupt DEA agent, or something. Natalie is taken in by her neighbor - Léon - who promises to teach her how to become a hitman herself. From there the movie is an interesting mixture of equal parts Man on Fire and The Karate Kid and The Transporter. A perpetual lone wolf takes in preteen orphan and trains her in his craft. He slowly comes to love her, because of course he does; she loves him too, but in an awkward half-fatherly half-sexual way, which I guess is par for the course among eleven-year-old girls? He teaches her how to kill other human beings and of course she gets pretty good at it, but Léon still needs to save her from the bad guys in the third act, which is cool, because she's given him something to live for.

There's really nothing special or unique about the plot; it's about as generic and predictable as they come. Does the girl get revenge on the guys who killed her family? Of course she does. Does her father figure crush risk everything to protect and save her after originally wanting her to go away? You bet. Does he wind up regretting nothing, despite all the trouble she has caused him by entering his life, since he's finally found someone to love and something to live for? You better believe it. Did all of this admittedly unoriginal plotting still make for a compelling movie? Indeed it did, thanks largely to the actors.

Oh, lastly - the main villain in the movie? A younger Gary Oldman, also barely recognizable. He was great, too.