Red Steel

Most of you have probably played the Wii beyond the simple staples that everyone's grandparents and five-year-old neighbors have played like Wii Sports. Therefore, I'm assuming most of you have dealt with the frustration of the Wii control scheme. For those who haven't, it sucks. The Wii's biggest shortcoming is its own imprecision. What was once seen as innovative, back in quaint old 2006, wore out its welcome pretty quickly when it became clear that "pointing and wagging" made for some pretty sloppy gameplay. Red Steel was a launch title for the Wii, so not only did it come out back in 2006, but it also came out before anyone even knew the Wii controls sucked so hard, and also back when the novelty of said shitty controls prevented anyone from even criticizing them. Here, in 2012, let me say it... this game had some of the shittiest and sloppiest controls I've ever seen. Like, even only compared to all other Wii games, this was terrible. The Wii's second-biggest shortcoming, by the way? Graphics. While the PS3 and Xbox 360 render their games in stunning HD, the Wii barely seems like an upgrade over the GameCube, if it's even an upgrade at all. And Red Steel has horribly blocky and shitty graphics, again, even for the Wii. And beyond all that, it was a glitchy game. Look, in case I haven't made it clear, Red Steel was a true turd of a game. The gameplay involves a mix of katana-based swordplay and first-person shooting - that doesn't even make sense if you think about it, beyond being an attempt to abuse the aforementioned "point and waggle" Wii control capabilities. If this game is memorable for anything, it's being one of the top three or five Wii titles available at launch. Any positive reviews Red Steel received, I guarantee you, were only positive amid the sea of shovelware it was released aside. To put it into honest context for you, I'd much sooner play five more hours of Too Human than five more minutes of Red Steel. Blech.