September 1, 2010

Three-Sentence Reviews: Microsoft Games

The title of this post allows me to encompass games I own not only on the Xbox and Xbox 360 systems (including Xbox Live Arcade, of course), but also all of the computer games I've played and beaten throughout the years since, you know, I did so using the Microsoft Windows operating system. Clever? Lame? Either way, I'm just trying to group all these retro-recaps into as few posts as possible while still keeping them each at a manageable size. So here come twenty-two more games and sixty-six more sentences that briefly describe each one.

Big Bumpin' (Xbox, 2006)
Three of the first used games I bought for my 360 were the Burger King triad, simply for the novelty factor. And really, the novelty factor is all that this shoddy collection of mini-games has. At least it only cost me 99 cents.

Boom Boom Rocket (XBLA, 2007)
This game is a DDR-inspired "tap directional buttons to the beat" game. Fireworks go off with every successful tap. I only own this game because it came on a compilation disc of five Xbox Live Arcade games.

Civilization IV (PC, 2005)
I absolutely love the all-inclusiveness of the Civilization franchise. The game lets you simulate, well, a civilization, from the dawn of modern man to the near future. There are six different ways to win the game and an unlimited number of ways to play it.

Civilization IV: Warlords (PC, 2006)
This is an expansion pack for Civilization IV that adds a few different leaders, nations, and technologies, but mostly expands upon the warfare mechanics. Other concepts such as vassalage were also added. I enjoyed the new stuff this expansion pack brought to the table, but it didn't really change the basic gameplay enough to be considered a necessary upgrade.

Civilization IV: Beyond the Sword (PC, 2007)
The second and final expansion pack for Civ IV dealt mostly with enlarging the game in the post-gunpowder era as the title somewhat implies. This was a much more expansive add-on than Warlords, and actually added whole new dynamics to the gameplay. Concepts never before visited in the Civilization series, such as international corporations and natural disasters, also made their debuts.

Dash of Destruction (XBLA, 2008)
This used to be a free downloadable game brought to you by Doritos. The game involves six levels of a Doritos truck racing around to make deliveries while being chased by a hungry tyrannosaur. Whether you play as the trucker or the tyrannosaur is up to you and you alone.

Feeding Frenzy (XBLA, 2006)
This is another inclusion on my Xbox Live Arcade compilation disc. For thirty levels, you must eat smaller fish while avoiding bigger fish. It can best be described as a stripped down 2D Katamari game without any charm whatsoever.

Gears of War (X360, 2006)
This is the first game in what I think is the biggest Xbox-exclusive franchise not called Halo. I liked this third-person shooter, but didn't love it. The story was minimal and the gameplay sequence fairly pedestrian.

Gears of War 2 (X360, 2008)
Fortunately, I enjoyed this sequel a lot more than its predecessor. They actually gave a somewhat compelling story this time around and it made the game a lot easier to care for. Plus, the levels felt much more unique and memorable.

Halo: Combat Evolved (Xbox, 2001)
I respect what this game managed to do - carry an entire fledgling system on its back against veterans Sony and Nintendo, alone, and in the process spawn one of the most beloved and highest-selling franchises of the decade - but the single-player campaign was actually kind of dull here and there. There was a really cool beginning and an awesome final level, but much of the rest of the game was spent running from checkpoint to checkpoint. Obviously, however, the multiplayer gameplay deservedly became the new standard for the FPS genre.

Hexic HD (XBLA, 2005)
This game comes pre-installed on all Xbox 360s, but for some reason it isn't available for download should you accidentally (or intentionally) delete it. The game itself is an addictive puzzle game that feels a little bit like Bejeweled. If you have a 360 and haven't dabbled with Hexic, I highly suggest doing so.

The Oregon Trail (PC, 1997)
Two years ago, I saw this for $20 at Target and figured it had to be a new and graphically splendid version of the elementary school classic. Alas, I felt totally swindled when discovering that the game was an edition from 1997 that was still being sold as a "new" game! I nearly returned the game, but ultimately (and lazily) decided that any edition of The Oregon Trail was still worth having.

Pac-Man Championship Edition (XBLA, 2007)
This isn't some generic and bad shovelware. It's actually what the creator of Pac-Man considers to be his magnum opus and the be-all, end-all game in the franchise. I'm sure I'd have enjoyed this compilation disc inclusion more if I was old enough to associate any nostalgia with the franchise.

PocketBike Racer (Xbox, 2006)
This is, in my opinion, the most enjoyable of the three shitty BK games on Xbox. You can pop wheelies on little motorbikes with lovable mascots like Whopper Jr. and the King himself, and you can even do so at the fabled Fantasy Ranch. What's not to find amusing?

Rock Band (X360, 2007)
Guitar Hero may have ushered in an age of instrument peripherals and rock concert simulation, but Rock Band broke the genre wide open with microphones, drums, and an overall cooperative element. I prefer the PS3 version of this game to the Xbox 360 one, mostly due to a strange and limiting interface between the profiles, bands, and characters. The ability to export its track list to other Rock Band games was huge.

Rock Band 2 (X360, 2008)
In terms of gameplay, Rock Band 2 offers little (if anything) more than Rock Band. But I find it to be a superior game due to the resolution of all of the aforementioned profile-band interface issues. The track list was also larger this time around (though not necessarily better).

Trivial Pursuit (X360, 2009)
This is actually a very fun game that not only doesn't butcher the classic board game but, furthermore, expands upon it in ways that wouldn't be feasible without a video game. Such innovations include time-based scores on responses, multiple people answering the same question with secrecy, and a "pin the city on the map" style of geography question. There are also game modes for playing alone that aren't boring as hell.

Uno (XBLA, 2006)
This is actually the reason that I bought the Xbox Live Arcade compilation disc. During my brief but fanatical stint with the game, I seemed to have the worst of luck, both online against other people and offline when merely squaring off against AI opponents. I think I went something like 2-15 overall, a far cry from the expected 25% winning percentage.

WarCraft III: Reign of Chaos (PC, 2002)
A friend of mine promised me that I would absolutely love this game and kept pushing it until I finally succumbed and dropped $40 on both it and its expansion pack. And then that same friend never played it with me, leaving me to grunt my way through the solo campaign alone. I may or may not have also beaten the expansion pack, and I'll make sure to let you all know whether or not I have done so once I find out the answer for myself.

World of Goo (PC, 2008)
I originally bought this on the Nintendo Wii as "WiiWare," but later on spent an additional $7 for a PC copy (more on that later). It's a very artistic and mood-setting puzzle game. I definitely recommend it to everybody.

Worms (XBLA, 2007)
I really enjoyed the Worms franchise back in middle school and I was thrilled to find a version of the game ported to XBLA. The offering seems unpolished and uninspired, but it's still got the basic gameplay of the series I enjoyed so much. I cannot recommend purchasing it, however, because of the existence of the upcoming game on my list.

Worms 2: Armageddon (XBLA, 2009)
Where the first Worms game for XBLA went wrong, this one passed with flying colors. It's a much more expanded and more complete rendition of the classic turn-based warfare series. It really makes its predecessor feel like nothing more than a crude demo.

Alright, so those are my long-ago-logged Xbox and computer games. But I think this is a great time for me to gripe a little bit about the digital download era and the repercussions it brings with it. You see, I love playing video games so much that I take pride in my collection of them; I never sell games back to GameStop and I'd typically rather make a purchase than rent or borrow. (That doesn't mean I won't lend, however. Sharing is good!) It's a costly hobby, collecting games in addition to playing them, but it's something I've always done and something I always want to do. The day I stop buying games is probably the day I stop playing them altogether. But the issue with the digital download era of gaming is that nowadays there are some great games out there that it's impossible to physically "own." Braid and Shadow Complex were absolutely fantastic games, but I can't put them on a shelf for display and I can't lend them to my friends either. They exist only as a bunch of ones and zeros stored inside my Xbox 360. And although I've never read the fine print (and perhaps I should), I'm sure somewhere during the purchasing process with XBLA, PSN, or WiiWare, there's a clause that reminds me that I am purchasing the right to use these downloadable games for a certain amount of time - a license, if you will - rather than outright purchasing hard (or soft) copies of the games themselves. And while that may be convenient and modern, it's also really a bad thing when you think about it. Up until now, when you purchased home console games you purchased physical copies of them. Those games were yours until they were stolen, lost, or damaged beyond playability. To this day, I can still pop in Super Mario World on Super Nintendo and have a ball with that old school classic. But twenty years from now, what the hell will I do if I want to play Shadow Complex again? Even though I may still have an Xbox 360, there's a good chance that some kind of license will have expired, or online support will be dead and gone, or for whatever reason, I'll be unable to play a game that I purchased once upon a time and intended to keep indefinitely. At least if my 360 or PS3 shits the bed, I'm able to get a new system and re-download all of my digital purchases. The Wii doesn't even offer such an option - once your Wii goes, all of your downloadable content goes with it. And lo and behold, my Wii is on its way out. This is why I repurchased World of Goo for the PC; in the near future, my digital version will likely be lost and gone forever. Who knows what I'll do about the forty dollars I poured into the WiiWare exclusive, Final Fantasy IV: The After Years? And five years or so from now, when Microsoft and Sony are unveiling their next generation of home consoles, what will happen to my personally purchased versions of Fat Princess and Shadow Complex? I don't like where this is headed; what's to stop the entire market from switching over to a "digital download only" format in future generations? Imagine the latest and greatest Mario game being something you can't even physically touch. Or having to pay a recurring fee to continuously renew your license for the ability to play the next Super Smash Bros. I know most gamers are far more carefree and casual than me when it comes to game ownership, but the permanence of personal property is at stake here, and I just don't like it. And the only other entity that I can picture disliking it even more is - gulp - GameStop! Are GameStop and I really going to be united on the same side - the loyal traditionalist one - in an upcoming revolution that will change the face of gaming forever? These are things I just don't want to think about.

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