The Ooze

We'll begin with Wikipedia's description:

The game starts at a chemical plant known as "The Corporation," with scientist Dr. Daniel Caine sneaking into the research lab where he worked, in order to find evidence that crimes were being committed using a toxic gas he created. Caine discovers that his colleagues are planning "Operation: Omega," a plan to release a plague upon the populace and make a fortune because they hold the only cure. However, the Director of The Corporation discovers Caine in the lab. Caine is disposed of by means of chemical waste, but the chemicals do not kill him; instead, they alter him into the angry, sentient, formless creature known as "The Ooze." Swearing revenge, the doctor seeks two things: his former colleagues, and to assume his human form once again. He must now find the DNA helices scattered throughout the wasteland or else end up imprisoned in the Director's lava lamp. 

Players control Dr. Caine as a puddle of ooze with a head, who can move around and use two attacks. One is stretching out a maneuverable sliver of ooze whose length is only limited by how much ooze he currently has to attack. Players can also spit gobs of ooze, which reduces the size of the ooze. Enemy attacks deplete the size of the ooze puddle as well, and the Ooze will die either if he becomes very small or if his head is attacked directly. He can also die by dropping off the edges of certain areas, or staying on a drain for too long. Numerous puzzles must be completed in order to progress from one level to another. An optional goal of the game is finding and collecting all 50 helices, in order to see the game's good ending.

First off, was the "plot" of every Sega Genesis game created by a twelve-year-old in a backwards hat shooting Nerf guns off a skateboard while whining about how much he hates school and vegetables? These things feel like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episode script rejects.

Secondly, everything about this game was terrible. The premise actually seemed kind of decent. Who wouldn't appreciate a top-down puzzle-like game amid a sea of mediocre platform shooters? But everything about the execution was botched. No aspect of the gameplay felt intuitive, from graphically glitchy enemies to unclear objectives. The "puzzles" described above were rarely more complex than opening a gate by hitting a switch. The whole thing just reeked of disappointment. And for a game released in 1995, holy hell, did this look ugly. If Vectorman deserves praise in that regard, The Ooze certainly deserves demerits.

There is no thirdly.

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