Untraceable

For those keeping track, I've only backlogged one movie previously, and while Stan is moving through a huge stack of DVDs, I'm simply catching a movie on t.v. now and then and giving it a small review. Traditionally my Saturday mornings are pretty open, so today I decided to find any movie I could that looked interesting. Unfortunately, no such movie existed so I picked Untraceable. Maybe you've forgotten Untraceable, given that it's a shitty "the internet is scary" thriller, but this actually just came out last year, and it was pretty bad. No, I take that back. The performances of Diane Lane and Colin Hanks, and directing by Gregory Hoblit were more forgettable than bad. The only thing that was really bad was the plot: A serial killer kidnaps his victims and broadcasts their executions online. The more people who log on and watch, the faster the victim dies. When the FBI attempts to find out about the guy who registered the site, they learn that it is -gasp- untraceable! If this doesn't raise some questions in your mind, then you haven't been on the internet long. I won't list the plot holes here, as there are other websites out there that detail them, but I will say that later on in the movie the killer hacks Diane Lane's car, cutting the power in the middle of a drive. Stew over that for a minute. The finale when Lane escapes from the killer's trap was just embarrassing to watch. The line the killer uses about how all executions will be broadcasted for money in the future was eerily reminiscent of Stone Cold Steve Austin's The Condemned. That's not a movie you want to remind viewers of. I can't think of much else to say, other than the fact that Diane Lane is pushing 50 and is still a stone cold fox. I mean goddamn. Anyway, don't watch Untraceable.