June 11, 2010

Green Day: Rock Band

When Green Day: Rock Band was first announced, I did a fair share of groaning. I understand why The Beatles: Rock Band was warranted, but Green Day is no Beatles. But as time wore on, I realized that Green Day actually had a number of songs that could be fun to play on pretend instruments. The final selling point? This game allows you to export its library for play in other Rock Band games, something The Beatles: Rock Band didn't do. My biggest complaint about the game was its price-to-length ratio. It's sold as a $59.99 full-fledged game, but it's really just 49 Green Day songs. Forty bucks sounds a lot more reasonable. But so be it. My other big complaint is the focus on full albums at the expense of true hits; aside from seven singles from Insomniac, Nimrod, and Warning, the game's setlist is comprised of the entirety of Dookie and American Idiot and most of 21st Century Breakdown. I didn't like this. Not only was there too much emphasis on Green Day's "sell-out" era in the form of their two "rock opera" albums, but also the whole middle of the band's career felt largely absent. Where was "Walking Contradiction?" "Stuart and the Avenue?" "Redundant?" "Waiting?" The biggest problem was the complete lack of the band's first two albums. If the game was meant to be some sort of chronicle of their entire career, why neglect their roots? I just think the game could have been a lot more epic and memorable with a few simple tweaks to the playlist. At the end of the day though, the game is really just exactly what you think it is: a whole lot of Green Day tracks on Rock Band.

Brüno

If I had to recap this mockumentary with one word, I'd eschew the obvious choice - "gay" - for an equally descriptive one: "short." I wasn't expecting a three-hour epic, but when the credits rolled at just an hour and eighteen minutes, I was definitely left asking, "that's it?" Some people think this flick was funnier than Borat, but I totally disagree. It was certainly more scripted than Borat. And more one-dimensional, too. But it was in no way a funnier movie. If you still haven't seen Borat, I do honestly recommend it. But I can't call this one a must-see unless you've already seen Da Ali G Show and feel the need for closure with the Brüno character. I won't go so far as to call the whole thing a waste of time - after all, an hour an eighteen minutes is hardly enough time to be considered wasted in the first place - but there's really nothing you might need to see here that you can't find on YouTube.

June 8, 2010

Super Metroid


Yep. Not even a full day after finishing Seinfeld, one of the greatest shows of the 1990s, I've beaten Super Metroid, one of the greatest video games of the 1990s. I'll cut right to the chase with this game: the hype exceeded the payoff. I don't mean to disrespect its legacy and I'm sure it would have blown me away fifteen years ago when it came out, but it just didn't seem like a legitimate candidate for "best game of all time," a title many have actually bestowed upon it. It's actually one of the most nonlinear and "customizable" games I've ever played; while you need to beat four certain bosses before heading to the final boss, you can technically defeat them in any order. And although certain power-ups are required to access certain rooms, short-cuts and loopholes abound (many are glitch-based), leaving it highly unlikely that any two first-time players would advance through the game in the same manner. It's not an especially long game (it can be 100% completed in under an hour and a half by professionals and hardcore fans), but it still took me eight to ten hours to beat. After all, so much of the fun of this game and its nonlinear style was the exploration element. At times, the game was frustrating. Skills like the "shinespark" and wall jump, for instance, required a lot of precision in timing and button pressing in order to pull off. Most bosses took me two attempts to defeat. I suppose at the end of the day, I just enjoyed Metroid Fusion a little bit more than this eight-year predecessor. And the 3D Prime series is just too different to allow for a fair comparison to this game. I can't stress it enough, so I'll say it again: the game was a decent one, but its lofty reputation just couldn't be matched. My biggest complaint, though typical of all SNES-era games, is probably the lack of story. Why am I on the planet I am on, doing what I am doing? This boss looks pretty badass, but what exactly is he and how does that relate to the adventure as a whole? Frankly, I can only recommend Super Metroid to big fans of the series and people who don't mind its graphical limitations. Regardless, now that I'm done with it, I'm done with every SNES game I own (and by extension, every downloadable Wii game). That feels pretty nice; Super Nintendo was my very first system and though I'll make no promises, I think I've now beaten every acclaimed game it had to offer. As far as the Metroid franchise goes, I don't know if I'll ever finish that one off; Prime 2 and Prime 3 still await my attention in the backlog, but I have yet to buy Hunters, Pinball, Metroid II, or the upcoming Other M. And why would I go out of my way to buy four new games just to beat a series? I'm not saying I will never do that; I'm just saying it isn't going to happen anytime soon. On the other hand, hopefully the completion of Metroid Prime 2 will.

June 7, 2010

Seinfeld: Season 9

Webber just posted about the final season of what I believe to be the best comedy of the '00s. Now, allow me to reflect on the final season of what many believe to be the best comedy of the '90s. Since I've already talked about the show at length, and since this season was really no worse than the previous five or six in my opinion, let's just cut to the chase and talk about the series finale. It's no secret that it was met with nearly unanimous criticism. I hope you won't consider it a spoiler for me to talk about the episode - 75 million people tuned in back in 1998, so really, if you haven't heard about it by now I'd be impressed. Anyway, as you probably already know, the hour-long final episode has the gang being arrested for breaking some bullshit misrepresentation of a "Good Samaritan" law and then tried and found guilty by a jury of their peers. They all wind up going to prison. And that's how the series ends. Even 12 years later, I totally understand the disappointment. Seinfeld was the #1 show in America when it ended. The showrunners made the rare and commendable decision to go out on their own terms. And these were the terms they chose? The whole thing felt rather clip-show-esque and, really, not all that funny. And I'm not saying the Seinfeld finale should have been touching or emotional (in fact I'm glad it was neither of these things), but why spend the show's final hour reminding the audience what terrible people the four main characters are? The beauty of Seinfeld was how easily we could all relate to it. The characters only acted as self-centered and shallow as we wish we could behave without being caught by society's judgmental eye. In essence, the finale said that these characters were all reprehensible people - which was true - but without meaning to do so, the finale thus produced an enormous moral compass we'd never even seen on Seinfeld before. It didn't really fit with the mood of the rest of the show. I'm not smug enough to think I could have come up with an ideal series finale, but plenty of possibilities existed that were better than what they actually put forth. On the last season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David put together a Seinfeld reunion special. I'd love to see that actually come to fruition, especially given the actual closure we received regarding the foursome. I think the Curb episode's Seinfeld reunion may actually be considered canon in the Seinfeld universe. And hey, I'll take it; the actual Seinfeld finale kind of sucked. Oh well. It was a sitcom; the point was never the ending but the episodes along the way. And those were, for the most part, great. I guess now I can compare Seinfeld to other great comedies from my lifetime. But the question is, does it even compare to other great comedies from my lifetime? Sounds blasphemous, I know, but I'll say the following. Larry David's other project, Curb Your Enthusiasm, has a similar tone but superior humor (thanks in no small part to its home being HBO instead of network TV). It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is a contemporary show about horrible and selfish people, and it makes me laugh far more than Seinfeld. Perhaps we should focus on networks, however, where comparisons are easier. Fine. On FOX, Arrested Development was amazing. But that's all I can come up with, and it only lasted three seasons. Had it lasted nine seasons - and what a dream that would have been - who's to say it could have kept up the pace? Seinfeld may have been about nothing, but that's what made it so easy to keep it going year after year. Nine years, and still the #1 show in the country? That's not just impressive; that's something we'll never see again. Keep in mind that it had a laugh track and a multi-camera set-up, and we can immediately narrow down its genre and remove Curb, Sunny, Arrested, and even shows like The Office and 30 Rock from the discussion. With this more-defined constraint in place, what's left when it comes to discussing the greatest "traditional" sitcom of my lifetime? Really, just Friends. And Seinfeld was better than Friends in most respects. But not all of them. But I'm not about to get into a Seinfeld versus Friends debate with myself on a dying blog that nobody reads. Seriously, guys - where are you?

June 5, 2010

Arrested Development Season 3


The third and final season of Arrested Development. Years have gone by and I have spent hours upon hours listening to people tell me that Arrested Development is the greatest show ever. Many occasions spring to mind of Sweeney and co. quoting endlessly episodes of a show I had seen but not chronologically and with no intent of fanatical devotion. So I finally set about watching this show in order from beginning to end. At first I didn't love it and to be honest at some points I was irritated by the repetition of jokes and often overly subtle humor. By season three however I feel the show had finally hit a stride. The first episode of the season sets the pace for what is to come with the additions of the family's newest vehicle, the cabin towing truck (outdoing the previous family vehicle, the stair car from the family jet).

My personal favorite parts of the entire season are those revolving around the shows imminent cancellation. Watching it in hindsight the desperate attempts to get ratings are even funnier. Starting with the announcer blatantly asking viewers to "tell your friends about this show." Eventually coming to an end with a season finale that pulls out all the stops, someone dies, there are 3D scenes, and twist and turns galore.

In the end I feel that they wrapped the series up nicely. The family is no longer in danger of criminal charges. The love between the two cousins who are cousins and then aren't again is left ambiguous, as it should be. Finishing with the subtle hint of a movie possibility so that rumors of a movie can continue to flourish for years to come...

June 2, 2010

Seinfeld: Season 8

Thanks to a five-disc DVD player, I was able to watch this entire four-disc set without ever having to get up and change discs. It was awesome. I felt like George Costanza. Anyway, this penultimate season of America's favorite sitcom was supposed to suffer from a drop in quality. With Larry David gone, I was ready for a disappointment. But while there was certainly a noticeable change in the overall format and style of the show, I'm happy to report that it was still just as funny as the seasons that had preceded it. Jerry's opening stand-up bit is gone, replaced instead by an awkward conversation in the midst of everyday life between two of the main cast members as if to drive home Jerry's penchant for observational comedy. Overall, I don't think the quality of the show suffered from the loss of Larry David. I think the one thing in general that I'll take away from Season 8 was the sheer number of brand name guest stars. The last episode alone managed to show off Amanda Peet, Molly Shannon, and Raquel Welch. Others included Debra Messing, David Letterman, Melinda Clarke, Bryan Cranston, Bob Odenkirk, Kristin Davis, Lauren Graham, Lloyd Bridges, Christine Taylor, Ben Stein, Sarah Silverman, Kyle Gass, and Debra Jo Rupp. Even Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams made cameos in one episode. Crazy. I know Seinfeld was big when it aired, but I had no idea it had that kind of pull. Now, only one season stands between me and series completion: the ninth and final one. A quick scouting report shows that I have not yet seen any of the episodes, but I've heard plenty about two particular ones - the "Festivus" episode and the series finale. I'm just hoping for an enjoyable season, and if it's along the lines of Season 8, I'll get just that.

Mega Man X6

Well, thank God that's over. This game was - and I'm making no exaggerations here - the worst in the series in every possible way. The story was horrible, basically undoing the emotional ending to X5 instantly. Remember Zero and how he died? It turns out, he didn't! Instead, X6 retcons the story such that Zero just went away for a while to hide and - get ready for this one - repair himself. He was an arm, a head, and an upper torso! Never mind that he was completely martyr-like and ready to accept his death as a necessary means for world peace as an end. Whatever. The story was the least of my concerns with this game. The stage design was absolutely abysmal. I've got no problem dying in platformers when it's due to human error or well-crafted puzzles. But this level design was just horrible. I won't even delve into it. Also horrible is the random nature of this game. Certain pathways in levels only open up at random. This means you might be playing through a level looking for enhancements only to learn that the game has decided that in this particular playthrough, you can't go down an alternate pathway. Whatever. Also, many enemies have ridiculous defensive qualities such as total invulnerability. I mean, there's a difference between pleasantly challenging and ridiculously tedious. Tedious, aside from frustrating, may be the best one-word description of Mega Man X6. There was horrible inconsistency with the difficulty, too. Some bosses were among the easiest in the series and others were among the hardest. There was just nothing redeeming about this game at all. Oh yeah, and there are translation errors running amok. And also they never bothered redubbing English voice overs, simply subtitling Japanese ones instead. Seriously, even the production value suffered here. Mega Man X5 was a decent game - how did things go so wrong in X6? But hey, I'm just glad that this compilation is over and done with. Since I've beaten eight classic Mega Man games, six Mega Man X games, and three spin-offs, in addition to dabbling with both Mega Man Legends and Mega Man Soccer, you might assume I've played through the majority of the franchise. Nope. Two more classic games, two more X games, a two-part GameBoy Color spinoff of X called Mega Man Xtreme, a five-part GameBoy spinoff of the classic series, a game between Mega Man 8 and 9 called Mega Man & Bass, two PC games, a four-part GBA series called Mega Man Zero, a two-part DS series called Mega Man ZX, and two more Mega Man Legends games all also exist. And I haven't even included the thirteen Battle Network games or the seven Star Force games, considered to be part of a separate universe than all the other Mega Man games. Holy shit. Thankfully, none of these exist on my backlog. The question now, then, is whether or not I ever want to play more Mega Man games or not. Since I'm simply not buying games anymore for a long time, the question is mostly irrelevant. Still, I suppose I can at least give an idea as to what games I should be on the look out for. I suppose, being a sucker for series completion, I wouldn't mind playing 9 or 10, and by the same token, X7 or X8. Also, the entire Mega Man Zero series of GBA games is coming out on a DS compilation quite similar to the two I've recently plowed through on GameCube. Just saying. I really didn't like Mega Man Legends, so that group of games is nothing I'd want to get into. I also see little to no point in the games for the PC, GB, or GBC. Mega Man ZX is only two games long, but I'd have to play (and enjoy) the Mega Man Zero series before jumping into that one. Oh, and I also wouldn't mind playing Mega Man & Bass, which is basically "Mega Man 8.5." But that's another 11 or so games right there. So, yeah. No rush. No rush at all. Adios, Mega Man X Collection. Next up: Super Metroid.

Mega Man X5

So, I've talked about the gameplay in the Mega Man X series and I've talked about the transition to the PlayStation and Sega Saturn. What I still haven't gotten into, but promised I would, is explaining why Mega Man X is a different and separate series than Mega Man. To explain this, I'll essentially need to summarize plot. Fortunately, Mega Man X5 had the most emotionally resonant story in either series so far; since I'd need to explain the franchise's backstory anyway in order to describe X5's plot, this works out perfectly. This may take a while, but I promise, I'll avoid all of the mundane shit; what's important isn't the conflict specific to each game in the series, but instead just the characters and general structure of the plot. So here we go. The Mega Man series begins in the 21st century when Dr. Light, a robotics genius, develops the first humanoid robot with artificial intelligence. This is Mega Man. Following this success, Light creates six more humanoid robots specially designed for specific tasks - cutting down trees, demolition work, et cetera. He wins the Nobel Prize. His jealous assistant, Dr. Wily, rebels by reprogramming these six robot masters for destructive purposes and seeks to take over the world. Light then converts Mega Man into a combat-ready robot and sends him off to defeat the robots and Wily, saving the world. That's the first game. Over the course of the next nine in the series, Wily repeatedly escapes, rebuilds an army of robots, and is conquered by Mega Man. The cycle repeats itself with few twists every game. One point of note is that Wily creates a robot called Bass, modeled after Mega Man but stronger than he is, as a natural rival to Mega Man. The problem is that Bass is torn between doing his duty and doing what he knows is right; he becomes a "frienemy" of sorts to Mega Man, sometimes fighting with him and sometimes against him. Oh, and there's also Proto Man, Dr. Light's first attempt at making an intelligent robot. Anyway, that's all fine and good, but that's really all that the Mega Man series has to offer. Here comes the transition to Mega Man X. Dr. Light, knowing he's not long for this world and that Mega Man won't last forever, constructs his magnum opus (still in the 21st century), an all-around state-of-the-art robot called Mega Man X. Realizing the potential X had for both good and evil, Light sealed him away in a chamber for thirty years. The chamber would test and evaluate X's sense of ethics and morality; only once he proved to be capable of making "good" decisions on his own (without having been explicitly programmed to do so), would he be allowed outside of the chamber. Only, instead of thirty years, he ends up being sealed away for a hundred due to a cave in. In the 22nd century, then, X is finally uncovered by an archaeologist named Dr. Cain. At this point, the original Mega Man has been "dead" for a long time, along with Bass and Proto Man and everyone else from the original series, including Dr Light and Dr. Wily. But before he died, Dr. Wily also made a magnum opus of his own and called it Zero. Mirroring Light's plan, Wily also sealed his own creation away for an extended amount of time. Anyway, Cain decides to make some "reploids" (a portmanteau of "replica" and "android?") of the newly discovered X. But once Zero is unearthed from his own chamber, he brings with him a virus that causes these reploids to go "maverick," or rebel against humanity. So now come the maverick wars. Those affected by the virus are hunted down by a special group of reploids called, fittingly, the maverick hunters. X is one such hunter. The group is led by Sigma, Dr. Cain's own greatest creation. One day, Sigma and Zero have a showdown that leaves Sigma the victor but both severely damaged and weakened; Zero is brought back to the maverick hunter headquarters and, after extensive monitoring, he's shown to be free of the virus. He joins the team and makes a fantastic addition, becoming a mentor-like figure to X. There's just one problem; Sigma, in his severely weakened state, succumbs to the maverick virus himself. And that's where the actual gameplay in Mega Man X kicks off - Sigma takes nearly all of the maverick hunters with him, turning them maverick themselves. Apparently, just X and Zero remain. The plot of the first three games has X battling his way into Sigma's fortress and stopping his evil plans. Aside from a brief segment of X3, Zero is a nonplayable character, merely mentoring X from the sidelines as he, presumably, does other important things to take down Sigma and the mavericks. Then, X4 begins to mix things up a bit as you can play the entire game as either X or Zero. In this game, Sigma has manipulated a situation in which the maverick hunters declare an entire group of reploids (called the "Repliforce") to be mavericks. A war breaks out, and Sigma's intention is to get both groups to destroy one another for him. It pretty much works. Zero even needs to kill the love of his life (yeah, robots can love, I guess) in order to follow orders. The event clearly shakes him to the bone, and he endures an emotional breakdown afterward, crying out, "What am I even fighting for?" Always cold and distant (he was programed by Wily, after all), Zero becomes even more stand-offish by the time X5 rolls around. Now, this game was supposed to be the finale of the series; it's got a really epic plot and plenty of legitimately moving scenes about the bromance between X and Zero. This time around, Sigma is looking to destroy the entire world by implanting a virus in a giant space colony, causing it to fall down toward the Earth. After you fight through the standard eight robot masters using either X or Zero, Zero will climb aboard a spaceship and launch himself at the incoming space colony on an apparent suicide mission. Here's where things get interesting, and here's what makes this game so unique among the series. Depending on whether or not you've successfully beaten the eight robot masters and collected the right parts for the spaceship, one of three endings happens. If you've failed to do what I just described, Zero will fail to destroy the space colony and humanity will barely survive extinction on impact. X will then race to the crash site looking for Zero only to find him overrun by Sigma's latest virus - dubbed the Zero Virus - and suddenly cognizant of his original purpose: to destroy X and all humans. X fights and kills Zero, more or less sobbing before, during, and after the battle. Sigma arrives - you gotta fight him too - and after he is destroyed, he activates a self-destruct mechanism that blows X to pieces. Barely functioning, the largest chunk of X - head, shoulders, and one arm - are suddenly greeted by a strange visitor from the past: Dr. Light himself. (How? I don't know. Is this his ghost? A hallucination inside X? Whatever.) We cut to a few weeks later and a healthy and active X is shown once again leading the maverick hunters. He remembers his encounter with Sigma just fine, but when asked about Zero, he has no idea what he's talking about. It's then implied that Dr. Light not only repaired X but also deleted whatever portion of his memory was dedicated to Zero. Presumably, Light knew X would be unable to keep fighting if burdened by the loss of his mentor and only true friend. Pretty touching and bittersweet, no? Anyway, that's just one ending, and I had to look on YouTube to find it. For the other two endings, which are much more alike, let's rewind back to when Zero is about to collide with the space colony. If you did get all the necessary parts, the plan goes off without a hitch and Zero ejects safely. Once again, though, the remnants of the colony crash into the Earth (though there are no human casualties mentioned) and a giant crater appears. This is where Zero lands and where X again rushes to meet him. Here, once again, X and Zero must fight. This time, though, it's not nearly as serious; because Zero has gone rogue, he's been labeled a maverick. X tells him to at least turn himself in and Zero refuses. Whichever reploid you're playing as, just vanquish the other one. Either way, Sigma will appear and, again, you need to fight him. And, yes, he once again self-destructs and nearly destroys both X and Zero. Zero saves X, however, and takes the brunt of the damage. Now, if you're playing as Zero, you'll see the ending through Zero's eyes; play as X, and you'll get the same ending, just seen from X's point of view. It is as follows: Zero is fading fast and though X keeps yelling at him to pull through, Zero realizes that it's only a matter of time before he himself turns maverick once again; he remembers, suddenly, being created by Dr. Wily for bad intentions. He realizes his purpose was to kill X all along, and though he has no urge to follow through on it, he's too ashamed to go on. Besides, his mind is no longer on the maverick war, as when he killed his own girlfriend in X4, it sucked the will right out of him. (Remember that quote? Yeah, foreshadowing. Nice!) Dying, he apologizes to said girlfriend in an image and swears to X that his death is for the best. The credits roll. Now, if you played as X, you'll get the same ending, but instead of seeing Zero apologize to his girlfriend and remember his own creation, you just see X collapsing. Dr. light, once again, shows up to fix him (why? how?), but this time he does not erase X's memories of Zero. We cut to three years later. X is back to kicking ass and taking names for the maverick hunters. When a distress call comes in, he flies out the door wielding Zero's saber. The game ends with a monologue from X paying tribute to Zero and claiming that with Zero's sword at his side, X will never truly be without his best friend. Aww. And, scene. So yeah. I know I did it next to no justice, but this game actually had a very strong and emotional story at its core. Zero's atonement, X's heartbreak - there were things going on here that were far deeper than anything in the eight classic Mega Man games. Of course, Capcom ended up deciding to continue the X series, even against the will of its creator, and X6 came out a year later. I'll play that next, but I'm not looking forward to it; rumor has it that the sixth game more or less undoes the beautiful ending from this one and also sucks gameplay-wise. But hey, whatever. It's my last game in this compilation disc. Let's do this.

June 1, 2010

Mega Man X4

Mega Man X4 took the series to a new system (the Sony PlayStation) and I was both excited and apprehensive about the transition. I had already played X3 and been put off by all of the differences between it and the original Mega Man X. As I expected, X4 only took the series further away from its roots. Fortunately, the change this time was good. The graphical upgrade didn't turn me off. If anything, I was happy to see the series looking better and playing more smoothly. It was also nice to see that they got rid of the ride armor upgrades that were the face of everything I hated about X3. The coolest thing about this game was that you could play through it either as X or as Zero. As much as I like Zero, I felt I had to be true to the series and play through this game as X. Now, the game seemed a bit easy to me. And I'm not complaining about that, just pointing it out. It turns out, I learned from the Internet that X is supposed to be the character you use if you're a novice player; Zero is reserved for veteran players. Oops! Oh well. Two games are left on the compilation and I just hope they're quick and painless. If they're as easy as this one was, I'm in for a cakewalk.

May 2010 Recap

Well, I'm glad that's over with. The month of May was, by all Back-Blogged accounts, a terrible one. I don't want to throw my comrades under the bus, but then, I need to speak for the team with these recaps. The numbers are as follows. Together, we logged 35 items in the Month of May. That's not terrible. It's our lowest total since February (33 items in 28 days - better ratio, actually), but it's still not awful. Here's what is: Keith, Trevor, and Webber made just one post each. Marissa posted a personal best (but still underwhelming) four times. And Sweeney, my compatriot from the beginning of all of this, made a scant three posts. That leaves 25 items that were my own doing. I'm used to carrying this project - and I'm not complaining, as it is my own project - but guys, what happened?

But I'm not throwing stones; my own house is made out of glass so thin you could break it by blowing on it. Not just one, but both of my logging goals were shot to shit this month. Remember how I said I'd make progress in every category in every month? Yeah, that didn't happen. I did manage to read 6 books while only obtaining 5 new ones (2 were gifts). But in the DVD department, I went an unsatisfactory 5 and 8 for a negative net total of -3. Think that's bad? Consider this. I managed to beat 14 video games but still found myself extremely negative in that category; I acquired a whopping 20 new games this month. I can't even blame it on my birthday, either; just 4 were gifts. Oh, and as far as "log two for every new one" is concerned? That's shot to shit entirely.

So what happened? Life happened. I figured once I graduated college I'd be able to spend days on end in front of TV screens. That's why I bought so many games in the first place. What I didn't count on was that the mere acts of graduating and moving back home would take up nearly a week's worth of time and that once I was home I'd want to actually enjoy the beautiful weather. I'm not making excuses. I fucked up. Big time. I never should have purchased a single game this month, let alone 20. Perhaps that can be a goal for June: no new purchases.

But no! No. These monthly goals I'm convinced, have put a strain on my logging; obsessed with quantity, I've been beating my shortest games and reading my shortest books. And in doing so, I've been missing the point, the essence, the reason for this project in the first place: to discover brilliant classics already on my shelves. I mean, no wonder I reached my breaking point with the Mega Man X Collection the other day. I've got critically beloved games aplenty, and I'm spending my summer days on shovelware for the sake of some silly resolution. You know what my problem is? It's the input. I need to cut myself off at the source. I tried not allowing myself to buy new things until two other things had been finished, but that clearly didn't work at all. Maybe the key is just a concentration on not buying anything. Sweeney told me the other day that I should not buy a single game until my gaming backlog is down to 45 games or so. Currently, it stands at 71, so that'd be 26 games to beat. I'm not opposed to such a radical idea, but I lack the inner strength to accept such a challenge.

Because I'm so fucked on the two-for-one goal anyway, I'm abandoning it. That goal allowed me to "reward" myself every time I beat two games or read two books. The goal shouldn't be to buy half as many things as I beat; it should be to buy nothing. I need to treat new purchases as sins. I need to have a dozen good reasons for every new item I acquire. That's new goal number one. There is no "new goal number two." But I wouldn't mind making some monthly goals. Before, I liked the mystery aspect of Back-Blogged. But if I can set certain itemized goals, it will put the pressure on me to go for them. I'll even take suggestions from my fellow loggers.

So let's do this. We'll start with books. I'm currently in the middle of three books, but one is Moby-Dick and I don't want to promise that I can finish that one. It's been a work in progress for almost a year now and, well, I have my reasons. The other two books, however, are Joseph Heller's God Knows and the nonfictional scientific title Fearful Symmetry. If I can't finish those two books by June 30th - and hell, let's throw in the rest of Madeline L'Engle's Time Quartet as well - then please call me out for it. That's four books. Nothing huge, but I'd rather not be overambitious. In terms of movies and TV shows, the glaring obvious choices are the final two seasons of Seinfeld and the second and final season of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Again, the theme here is finishing what I've started. In keeping with that theme, let me make the following vows for video games. I will complete the Mega Man X Collection. I will also beat both Super Metroid and Metroid Prime 2. And why not throw in Trauma Center: Second Opinion while we're at it? That's only six games, but I don't want to promise anymore than that. So that's six games, four books, and three DVD sets that I've specifically promised. Might as well get to work, huh? June should be a better month than May. It has to be. It will be.