Risky Woods

"The Genesis project." It's a thing I've been doing for over a year now, ever since receiving a Chinese knock-off Sega Genesis pre-loaded with forty games for Christmas in 2013. Progress has followed more of a splurge-and-wait pattern than that of a steady trickle from a faucet, but it's been progress nonetheless. I was nearly finished, too, with just two games left as of a month ago.

Then Keith decided to fuck me over, for reasons I still can't understand.

Keith, my dear friend, the best man at my wedding, a man I've known and respected for half of my lifetime, decided that I deserved to suffer through more Sega Genesis content than I already have. He went to a used game store and asked the owner, "what is the very worst Sega Genesis game you have in stock?" And then Keith bought that game. And that game was Risky Woods. And Keith bought that game, and gave it to me, and demanded that I beat it.

I don't know why Keith did this to me. He seemed to take pleasure from my pain. This is new and uncharted territory in our relationship, and I worry that more curse-gifts may follow.

The joke's on Keith, though. (Sort of.) You see, it turns out, while Risky Woods was a bizarre and genuinely bad game, it was far, far, far from the worst game I've played on Sega Genesis.

Ecco: The Tides of Time
Ecco the Dolphin
Arrow Flash
Golden Axe
Alien Storm
Virtua Fighter 2
Fatal Labyrinth
Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master
Streets of Rage 3
Gain Ground
Streets of Rage 2
Golden Axe II
Kid Chameleon
DecapAttack
Comix Zone
Vectorman 2
Vectorman
ESWAT: City Under Siege
Streets of Rage
Chakan: The Forever Man
Alex Kidd in the Enchanted Castle
Eternal Champions
Risky Woods
The Ooze
Jewel Master
Shadow Dancer
Columns III
Columns
Crack Down
Golden Axe III
Altered Beast
Bonanza Brothers