Here it is. The backbone of my backlog. The true challenge. The ultimate achievement. I could watch all of my DVDs simply by pressing play and staring blankly at whatever appeared on the screen. Reading all of my books is only slightly more challenging, as I must actively take in the words that my eyes see and analyze them. But a video game requires a real effort to finish. You can't get "stuck" in a movie or a book. Bored, sure, but never stuck. You're just kind of along for the ride when watching a DVD, and you more or less read books at your own personal pace. Games are different. You can play them for hours, but if you can't beat a certain boss or solve a certain puzzle, or even if you get lost doing minigames, side quests, or other general dilly-dallying, you're not making any progress. Some games take an hour to beat, and others take several days. But no game can be beaten without putting in a significant effort. No game at all. Here are the many, many games that have yet to be beaten:
GameBoy Advance:
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance
GameBoy Color:
Pokémon Gold
Pokémon Silver
Wario Land II
Pokémon Gold
Pokémon Silver
Wario Land II
GameCube:
Chibi-Robo!
Donkey Konga 2
The Legend of Zelda
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
Mega Man
Mega Man 2
Mega Man 3
Mega Man 4
Mega Man 5
Mega Man 6
Mega Man 7
Mega Man 8
Mega Man: The Power Battle
Chibi-Robo!
Donkey Konga 2
The Legend of Zelda
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
Mega Man
Mega Man 2
Mega Man 3
Mega Man 4
Mega Man 5
Mega Man 6
Mega Man 7
Mega Man 8
Mega Man: The Power Battle
Mega Man 2: The Power Fighters
Mega Man Battle & Chase
Mega Man X2
Mega Man X3
Mega Man X4
Mega Man X5
Mega Man X6
Metroid Prime
Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
NHL Hitz 20-02
Pikmin
Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine
Sonic & Knuckles
Sonic 3D Blast
Sonic the Hedgehog
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Sonic the Hedgehog 3
Sonic the Hedgehog Spinball
Super Mario Sunshine
Viewtiful Joe
Worms Blast
Mega Man Battle & Chase
Mega Man X2
Mega Man X3
Mega Man X4
Mega Man X5
Mega Man X6
Metroid Prime
Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
NHL Hitz 20-02
Pikmin
Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine
Sonic & Knuckles
Sonic 3D Blast
Sonic the Hedgehog
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Sonic the Hedgehog 3
Sonic the Hedgehog Spinball
Super Mario Sunshine
Viewtiful Joe
Worms Blast
Nintendo 64:
Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards
Yoshi's Story
Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards
Yoshi's Story
Nintendo DS:
Final Fantasy III
Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift
Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
Final Fantasy III
Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift
Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
PC:
Civilization IV: Colonization
Portal
Civilization IV: Colonization
Portal
PlayStation:
Final Fantasy V
Final Fantasy IX
Final Fantasy V
Final Fantasy IX
PlayStation 2:
Final Fantasy X-2
Final Fantasy XII
Kingdom Hearts
Ratchet & Clank
Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Final Fantasy XII
Kingdom Hearts
Ratchet & Clank
Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Super Nintendo:
The Lion King
Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels
The Lion King
Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels
Wii Virtual Console:
Super Metroid
Super Metroid
WiiWare:
Final Fantasy IV: The After Years
Wii:
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
Rapala Tournament Fishing
Red Steel
Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz
Trauma Center: Second Opinion
Wario Land: Shake It!
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
Rapala Tournament Fishing
Red Steel
Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz
Trauma Center: Second Opinion
Wario Land: Shake It!
Xbox:
Halo 2
Halo 2
Xbox 360:
Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts
BioShock
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
Call of Duty: World at War
Fable II
Fallout 3
Halo 3
Left 4 Dead
Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts
BioShock
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
Call of Duty: World at War
Fable II
Fallout 3
Halo 3
Left 4 Dead
Xbox Live Arcade:
Aegis Wing
Banjo-Kazooie
Banjo-Tooie
Aegis Wing
Banjo-Kazooie
Banjo-Tooie
For those of you keeping track at home, that's a grand total of 77. What kind of champion could possibly conquer such a list without turning into a Dorito-munching daylight-fearing loner? I must admit that I have not fully considered the consequences of my tumultuous course. Yet, there is hope. Every title listed in italics belongs to a game in which I have already made some sort of substantial progress. There are 23 of these in total, and that accounts for nearly a third of the battle. An even more substantial chunk of games on the list - 26, to be precise - reside on compilation discs for the GameCube. There exists a Zelda compilation, a Sonic compilation, and a pair of Mega Man compilations. This may make no difference in the long run, but it sounds like it does. And it's always important, when the prospects are grim, to find the silver lining around even the darkest of clouds. So here's to the journey.
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