December 29, 2018

South Park: Season 22


Attempting to remember which episodes of South Park came during which seasons of South Park is, at this point, a complete fool's errand. So take this with a grain of salt - but! - I think this was South Park's best season in years. It just felt very current, much more scathing and biting than it has in years, and ready to evolve make amends for some of its previous attitudes and stances. Like don't get me wrong, I laughed my ass off at "ManBearPig" being a ridiculous metaphor for Al Gore's global warming shtick thirteen years ago (holy shit) - but I've come around on global warming being, you know, not a shtick, and I'm glad to see that Matt and Trey have too. Likewise with their apparent left-leaning jabs at Amazon and Jeff Bezos. Now granted, this is South Park - nothing that happens on this show in any given year seems to affect the following years, so who knows? The show could suck all over again next year. #CancelSouthPark

Salt Fat Acid Heat: Season 1


Here's the cooking show on Netflix everyone is going apeshit over. It's good! But I don't think it's transcendent the way Ugly Delicious was. I dunno!

December 28, 2018

Steven Universe: Season 5


I finished Season 5 of Steven Universe somewhere back in like, July. Why didn't I write about it back then? Because I didn't know I'd finished Season 5 until this past week, when the premiere of Season 6 showed up on my DVR. Or is it even Season 6? Trakt.tv suggests that the most recent episodes are in fact both the latest in Season 5 and the beginning of Season 6. Look, Cartoon Network clearly doesn't give a shit about this show at all - giant hiatuses are one thing, but to air it so irregularly and with so little structure that nobody fucking knows what season you're on - oof. Guys. Geez.

That said, I was a huge fan of the fifth season of the show. Things seem to be headed toward an endgame, which is pretty cool given all the worldbuilding and character building that went on in the first few seasons. I have no idea if the new season, the sixth season, will be the show's last, but it seems unlikely that this show needs more than a seventh. Time will tell!

December 27, 2018

Collateral: Season 1


I remember virtually nothing about this four-episoder from Netflix. Carey Mulligan, murder case, British xenophobia. Like I said, virtually nothing.

Sorry For Your Loss: Season 1


Elizabeth Olsen was great here, but let's face it - the most notable aspect of this show was that it aired on Facebook.

December 6, 2018

Octopath Traveler


Take this with a grain of salt, because I'm really not thinking that hard about it, but it's possible that Octopath Traveler is the longest game I've ever played, with the end credits rolling for me after 70 hours and change. I don't mean that it's the game I've dumped the most hours into - plenty of multiplayer games and oft-revisited classics trump it easily on that front. And I don't mean that I've never spent more than 70 hours exploring the nooks and crannies of plenty of other games - RPGs in particular - what with all the optional sidequests and endgame content out there. What I'm saying is, insofar as any video game presents a "story" - a single-player campaign of some sort, whose completion is ostensibly the purpose of playing the game - I cannot currently remember ever spending more than 70 hours merely completing the story.

(Again, some caveats - this is an old-school JRPG with turn-based combat, so it's very likely that my playtime was padded immensely by repeated instances where I'd just sort of put the controller down for a minute or five without pressing pause in order to, I dunno, go to the bathroom, grab another drink, look up something on the Internet, what have you. But then, counter-caveat, by the midpoint of the game I was skipping cutscenes left and right, easily shaving off dozens more minutes of story. So.)

At any rate, it was a long-ass game! And frankly, a bit repetitive and a bit of a grind. I hated it sometimes! But also, I played it for more than 70 hours and generally felt the experience to be pleasant, relaxing, calming. It was a very easy game to play while watching low-stakes television or listening to podcasts

There's a lot I want to say about it, so let's jump in.

Characters
There are eight characters in the game - four men, four women - each with their own job class and skillset. The characterization was, all in all, very good. I got a very specific sense of their personalities and motivations for the most part, even if a few were pretty generic. The lone character I would describe as all-around shitty was H'aanit, a beastmaster of sorts who inexplicably spoke in Middle English (thou, finishedst, payen). Is this some weird-ass translation idea from a distinct old dialect of Japanese that works much better for a character covered in furs and living in the woods? I've got nothing! Beyond that, I mean, the thief was a thief - cocky, smug, prickish - the healer was a priestess with a heart of gold (obviously), and the honorable old knight was noble and courageous and all that jazz. Arguably the most interesting character was Primrose the dancer - and she was easily the bets in battle for me, though that could be because I chose her as my starting character. Primrose is this fallen princess from a sun-baked land - so, you know, "exotic," albeit not explicitly "of color" - who's hellbent on avenging her father to the point where she goes undercover as essentially a sex worker in a brothel just to gain some intel on his murderers. Her story was dark as hell and her character was fairly complex - she's the foil to the healer, basically, but over the course of her arc her anger gives way to more of a sadness, an emptiness. This made for a harsh juxtaposition with, for instance, the young merchant girl who's just excited to see the world and sell her wares. This brings us to...

Story
All over the place! Kind of a mess, honestly, and in my mind a real missed opportunity. See, the eight characters are all pursuing different things throughout the story. Why they meet up and interact at all is really a complete mystery the game never even tries to address. There's not unifying evil force here; each of the eight characters experiences four chapters in their story and their only interaction with each other occurs in these little optional dialogue scenes during stories. What this means is you'll be playing as the healer-priestess, a bastion of good and light in the world, and then you'll use the thief to pick a townsperson's pocket. And the game just never does anything with this. The dancer is running around the world trying to murder her father's killers, and then there's an alchemist who just wants to like, sell potions and shit, and there's no reason whatsoever for either one of them to help the other achieve their goal.

What I would have done, had I designed the game, is something like this. There are eight characters, right? This means that there are 28 distinct pairs of characters. I would have tried to make some sort of plot element revolving around each and every one of those pairings. The scholar needs to gain entry to a library, for instance, so the dancer goes ahead and seduces a guard for the key. The priestess needs to enter an old church, but it's locked - so the thief needs to pick the lock for her, and she gains some newfound admiration for him along the way. This feels like such an easy and crucial aspect of the overall story that was missing - these characters just don't interact with each other, at all. What's the fun in having an ensemble cast if you're doing eight individual and non-intersecting story arcs?

Gameplay
Pretty solid. I absolutely made hay out of the elemental attack abilities, and it's not clear to me that the game isn't broken in that sense - my dancer and my mage could each deal ten thousand damage to every enemy with a moderately boosted dual-casting of fire, ice, or thunder by game's end, without any buffs. Meanwhile, my best physical attacker - the knight? - could deal maybe two or three thousand at a time to one enemy with maximum boosting, and he also missed his attacks like half the time. Did anyone else have a similar experience?

One critique I have is that the random encounter battles were all fairly repetitive. The battle system emphasizes "breaking" enemies by using weapons or spells that they're weak against a certain number of times in battle, and by even the middle of the game a lot of the enemies required four or five hits to "break." Once broken, they're far more susceptible to all damage and generally you can kill them in one turn at that point - but this meant a lot of the battles were extremely easy, but very time-consuming. That feels like a design flaw to me, I don't know!

The boss battles - and in particular, the eight "final" boss battles - were a lot of fun. Plenty of strategy involved, and each one required what felt like a "battle plan" beyond "the healer heals, the knight wails away on this thing, etc."

But, one thing I'll point out is that the difficulty curve was sort of "off" all game. Because each of the eight characters has their own arc, the first Chapter 4 boss you hit is just insanely hard. You're underleveled, or at least not sufficiently overleveled! But by the time the last one rolls around, you're almost toying with it. If there had been a way to scale the difficulty of the final bosses - ramp up their levels and stats, maybe, for every Chapter 4 boss you've already killed - this probably would have been a more rewarding game.

All in All
I mean, it was good! I had my gripes with it, but I don't think there's a JRPG I haven't had gripes with in like, twenty years.

Anyway, glad to have this one finally beaten. Bring on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate!

December 4, 2018

Maniac: Season 1


What an enormously messy, silly, inconsequential thing. Lost the plot almost immediately, but it didn't seem to matter, as this whole miniseries was just one somewhat standalone episode after another, all taking place in some sort of virtual reality or simulation. In spite of not giving a shit about it... I dunno, I didn't hate it? It had its moments! It was fun enough, dumb enough, and didn't take itself too seriously, so, sure, why not watch Emma Stone as a 1950s special agent? Why not laugh at Jonah Hill's dumb '80s mullet in that one episode? A crying computer - sure, okay!

The Handmaid's Tale: Season 2


Marissa and I started this all the way back when it debuted - April? March? - and it was just such a tough, brutal watch. We got maybe three or four episodes in, out of thirteen, and put it back on the digital shelf for, like, six months.

I liked it, a lot. Probably not as much as the first season, but it was definitely "bigger" than the first season, darker, more harrowing. I know a lot of people hated the finale, and I sort of did too, but I mean, of course it was going to end that way. There's no third season if it doesn't, right? (And no way in hell is Hulu killing their award-winning drama after two seasons just because it's creatively run dry!)

Last Week Tonight: Season 5


It's not that I dislike this show - far from it - but man, I hope I'm not watching it in 2019. It just... doesn't... do anything. What is it accomplishing? I understand it's a comedy show first and foremost, but the jokes aren't really landing for me when the show proudly boasts that it has spent $20,000 on wax sculptures of presidents and Russell Crowe's jockstrap right after Oliver stonefaces a serious and biting critique on the immigrant crisis at the border, or Brett Kavanaugh probably being a rapist.

Kurt Vonnegut had a great quote that goes, "During the Vietnam War, every respectable artist in this country was against the war. It was like a laser beam. We were all aimed in the same direction. The power of this weapon turns out to be that of a custard pie dropped from a stepladder six feet high." That's how I feel about Last Week Tonight and SNL and The Daily Show these days, shaking their fists at the Trump administration's myriad misdeeds with all the effectiveness of... just, nothing. Nothing at all.

December 3, 2018

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Season 13


It's not entirely accurate to say that Always Sunny has been going strong, nonstop, for thirteen years. I can remember plenty of dud episodes here and there, lots of go-nowhere stories and character beats I could've done without. But man, it's impressive as hell that a show could hit its thirteenth season with this much of a confident stride. Just the idea that these goofballs were in their late twenties when this thing started, and are now in their early forties, and have only rarely missed a beat, all while working around their semi-burgeoning movie careers - I love it! Good on them.

Lastly, Danny DeVito is 74 years old and shaped like a bowling ball. God, that one is gonna sting.

Battlefield 1


Video games! Video games!

I'm not a huge FPS guy these days - and certainly not an online PvP FPS guy - but I was happy to plunk twenty bucks and six or seven hours of my time down on this World War I game. Five distinct stories - six, including the prologue on the front lines - and one's in a tank, and one's in a primitive airplane, and one's at the Gallipoli landing. It really was just an insane war, World War I, fought on horseback but also in tanks, using both airplanes and carrier pigeons. But what I really liked about this game - the first Battlefield game I've played, and far from a perfect game what with its fair share of bugs - was the diversity of the missions. Some would probably cite the campaign for not being long enough, but y'all know me - five hours spent as five characters in five distinct settings is just perfect, as far as I'm concerned.

Consider me marginally interested in Battlefield V, the new World War II game that follows the same campaign format as this one.

Homecoming: Season 1


Sam Esmail, Julia Roberts - sure. I was into this. My interest actually peaked midway through the season, and the ending left me a little cold. (What else is new?) Two very cool things happening here that made this at least memorable, if not great, television. One, the use of 1:1 aspect ratio. There's a reason no one uses it - it's confined and claustrophobic, especially on all modern televisions and device screens - but that's what makes it so noteworthy, with its thick black side panels and its jarring focus on the center of the frame. The second thing is that this was a '70s style conspiracy thriller of a show, but that it had half-hour episodes. God, the half-hour - I love the half-hour! That this was ten half-hours, and not five hours, somehow made it so much better in my eyes. Long live the half-hour!