The Rum Diary

Back in my college days (ugh… it feels so weird to say that), I went through a bit of a Hunter S. Thompson phase. This was during the time I worked at our college newspaper – turning out ground-breaking news like “Five Tips on How to Cope with your 8AM Class while battling a Hangover” – and accessorized my life with alcohol, cigarettes, and various forms of narcotics and hallucinogenics. Top that off with an over-indulgence in In-N-Out burgers along with a complete lack of exercise and it’s clear that I am the complete model of perfect health. Anywho, during this time I read an excessive amount of Hunter S. Thompson. Why? It was my angsty, drug-riddle phase of my life. Who really knows why I was doing anything at all? That aside, Thompson is a brilliant writer with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas being one of my favorite reads of all time – check it out if you haven’t already. However, I’m not here to discuss Thompson’s greatest triumphs, but rather his greatest folly.

The Rum Diary, Thompson’s first novel, is not that great alone. In fact, I believe it was the last work he ever got published. Not by the strength of the novel’s compelling story mind you, but probably just because the publishers believed they could make a few extra bucks if they expanded upon Thompson’s library. So, what we have here then is the film adaptation from an already less-than-great novel. Now, I’m not saying that this was going to be a train wreck from the start. There are plenty of great movies based off of lack-luster books – The Godfather for instance. (Can anyone out there tell me that Mario Puzo’s novel is any good, let alone better than the movie?) Also, we have Johnny Depp reprising his role – sort of – as Hunter’s alter ego, Paul Kemp (not to be confused with the other alter ego, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’ Raul Duke). And the director/screenwriter is NOT Terry Gilliam (the one responsible for the Vegas adaptation), but some other dude who must have been passionate about the project. All-in-all, I can see everyone’s interest in the project, but guess what… the movie sucked donkey balls.

While the acting and production value are all fine – Puerto Rico looks amazing – the story was just appalling. Let me give you a brief low-down on the what the novel is about. Struggling journalist Paul Kemp lands in Puerto Rico to work for the dying local newspaper. Not much happens in regards to that storyline as Thompson focuses his character’s lust for a blonde bombshell he spots on the plane he flew in one. Eventually he meets her as she's dating some American entrepreneur that’s looking to make some big bucks exploiting the island. Can’t really remember anything else of any importance happening until the entire cast goes to Carnival where everyone gets super drunk and the blonde girl taken off by a group of locals while dancing provocatively with them – you’re suppose to assume she gets raped as the alcohol delirium sweeps over the festival. Her boyfriend gives up on her and his dreams, setting sail on his boat to wherever (best scene of the book; not included in movie – will touch on this later), and Paul quits his job at the paper and flies back home. Anti-climatic. No?

The movie attempts to correct these problems by creating some higher stakes and motivations for its characters. They explain this whole devious interest to exploit the natural resources and build a bunch of new hotels in the area (they did a nice job nodding towards Thompson’s ridicule of the “American Dream” on this part). With all this crime and corruption, Kemp gets hired to spin news stories and ads that will help appease the masses at the new developments. Up to the halfway point, I’m liking it. Then we reach Carnival. Same thing pretty much happens as in the book, only they skip the pivotal moment when the entrepreneur-guy faces his defeat, loses his girl, and sets sail alone. Instead, the guy just dumps the girl (who will later meet up with Kemp then running back to the US). Kemp finds that the paper has closed down, then hatches this master plan to put out one last issue that exposes all the crime that he’s been a part of. To do one last good deed. This all builds up until they get to the office to find all the printers have been taken away. Everything has failed. At that point Kemp says good-bye to his friends and sets sail, stealing the entrepreneur's yacht. Much like the book, nothing is resolved and yet there's not really a large enough sense of defeat to call it a tragedy. I'm apathetic towards it. Don't know how to feel.

Suddenly, as if the director was aware that he was leaving his audience stranded he tosses in a quick epilogue. Text fades into the screen: “Paul sailed back to New York where he met up with that blonde chick. They married. Oh, and one day he did become a successful writer. Yay! The End” Alright, I might be paraphrasing here a bit... but seriously? The movie ends with them summarizing what could have been an entirely different movie. A more entertaining and fulfilling movie. Sigh...

At least Depp is solid. If anyone gets another urge to get Thompson's work back on the big screen, using Depp while he's still age appropriate, adapt Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72. Throw a drug crazy, bizarre journalist into politics as he follows the presidential election of what will become Nixon's second term... Thompson vs. Nixon.

Whatever could come of it, it has to be better than The Rum Diary.