Today, I bought BioShock 2. I couldn't wait! Not even two days until it was March, and I went and put my New Years resolution in jeopardy - upon the purchase of that new game, my net February progress on video games was zero. Fortunately, I knew I had a game I could beat in an hour: Yoshi's Story. Yoshi's Story was pretty heavily criticized when it came out, and rightfully so; to beat the game, you must platform your way through a mere six levels. The final boss, Baby Bowser, is a laughable joke. He can easily be vanquished in thirty seconds, and was. To complete each level - sorry, each "page" (in what must be Yoshi's titular story) - you must eat thirty pieces of fruit. There is no final physical goal in a level; levels just loop circularly until you've eaten thirty pieces of fruit. I only reached the "end" of a level once, and often had my thirty piece quota finished before I was halfway "done" with a level. The core concept of the plot, if there was one, is that the Yoshis are a happy bunch and Baby Bowser has become jealous of their contentedness. Because of this, he has decided to steal their Super Happy Tree (yep, its real name), the source of the fruit that makes them so happy. As the Yoshis venture through the pages of their story, they become happier. The whole thing felt like an interesting take on a Prozac commercial. Anyway, you can imagine my surprise when the Super Happy Tree turned out to be little more than a withered vine with three fruits dangling from it. I suppose you get what you pay for, and since I only paid an hours' worth of time to beat this one, I can't be all too disappointed in the payoff - a Super Happy Vine protected by the easiest final boss I've ever seen in a platformer. Now, apparently you can choose from four different levels on each page, making twenty-four levels in all. The gist is that the more things you collect before getting your thirty fruits, the more options there will be on the next page. So is this game worth playing and beating three more times to "complete" the game by playing through each level? No. It would only ask an additional three hours of my time, but really, I see no reason to touch this children's game again. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to reading some young adult chapter books.February 27, 2010
Yoshi's Story
Today, I bought BioShock 2. I couldn't wait! Not even two days until it was March, and I went and put my New Years resolution in jeopardy - upon the purchase of that new game, my net February progress on video games was zero. Fortunately, I knew I had a game I could beat in an hour: Yoshi's Story. Yoshi's Story was pretty heavily criticized when it came out, and rightfully so; to beat the game, you must platform your way through a mere six levels. The final boss, Baby Bowser, is a laughable joke. He can easily be vanquished in thirty seconds, and was. To complete each level - sorry, each "page" (in what must be Yoshi's titular story) - you must eat thirty pieces of fruit. There is no final physical goal in a level; levels just loop circularly until you've eaten thirty pieces of fruit. I only reached the "end" of a level once, and often had my thirty piece quota finished before I was halfway "done" with a level. The core concept of the plot, if there was one, is that the Yoshis are a happy bunch and Baby Bowser has become jealous of their contentedness. Because of this, he has decided to steal their Super Happy Tree (yep, its real name), the source of the fruit that makes them so happy. As the Yoshis venture through the pages of their story, they become happier. The whole thing felt like an interesting take on a Prozac commercial. Anyway, you can imagine my surprise when the Super Happy Tree turned out to be little more than a withered vine with three fruits dangling from it. I suppose you get what you pay for, and since I only paid an hours' worth of time to beat this one, I can't be all too disappointed in the payoff - a Super Happy Vine protected by the easiest final boss I've ever seen in a platformer. Now, apparently you can choose from four different levels on each page, making twenty-four levels in all. The gist is that the more things you collect before getting your thirty fruits, the more options there will be on the next page. So is this game worth playing and beating three more times to "complete" the game by playing through each level? No. It would only ask an additional three hours of my time, but really, I see no reason to touch this children's game again. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to reading some young adult chapter books.
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Yoshi never deserved his (her?) own story.
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