August 2, 2016

Sweeney's TV Dump: April through July 2016

The X-Files: Season 1
I mentioned that I started watching The X-Files last summer and never got around to completing the season, so here it finally is. The first season was... okay. I really enjoyed the two-part premier but it's hard to say any other episode lived up to the high standard that they set. It's weird to think that this show was such an instant success, when even diehard fans like Trev admit that it took a few seasons to really get cooking. Another thing I hear is that the stand-alone singular episodes are the best of the series, and the more serialized ones are typically pretty crappy, yet here I am early in the series, wishing for more backstory and events that flesh out the universe Scully and Mulder live in. I'm sure soon enough I'll be converted, as it sounds like the middle of this show's run was supposed to be the best part.


The Walking Dead: Season 6
Take my surprise at The X-Files' incredible success from that last paragraph, and multiply it by 100 for The Walking Dead. At least The X-Files has the excuse that there weren't many great shows to compete with. What made The Walking Dead such a huge hit when it seems like so many shows do what it does better? Is it just that there's zombies? I mean, Daryl is a cool character, but he's hardly the biggest badass on tv- why are people so in love with him? Is it the motorcycle? What stings is that back when I quit the show on three separate occasions it was usually definitively bad tv, and I could feel superior to the masses. Now it's mediocre, and so I watch to join in on the zeitgeist, and I'm no better than anyone. Do I care who died in that shitty cliffhanger? Hell no! Besides, we all know it's Glenn anyway, a guy who's characterization is... um...


American Crime Story: The People vs OJ Simpson
I was late getting off of the American Horror Story bandwagon, finally ditching the show halfway through the dreadful Hotel incarnation, so I wasn't really looking forward to Ryan Murphy's second "American Story" series- American Crime Story: The People vs OJ Simpson. Take my Walking Dead surprise and multiply it by another 100, and that's how surprised I was by this. Yes, 10,000 times more surprised than I was about The X-Files! It was really fantastic, maybe the best thing I've seen on tv yet this year (this was written back in like, March). It helps that it's based off of a completely unbelievable case that seems perfect for a miniseries adaptation, bursting with plot twists and memorable characters (the series barely even had time for Kato Kaelin, one of the oddest characters to come out of the whole thing). It helps that Murphy focused so heavily on prosecutor Marcia Clark, a tenacious underdog who gets absolutely brutalized inside the courtroom and in the tabloids. Sarah Paulson didn't do much for me in her roles in American Horror Story, but she was incredible here as Clark, carrying the whole show on her back at times. Unfortunately I fear this will go the way of Serial in its second season based on a poor story selection- Hurricane Katrina just doesn't have that flash and fun that the OJ Simpson case had. Prove me wrong, Ryan Murphy.


11/22/63
11/22/63 was one of the stronger Stephen King books I've read, so I was intrigued by this Hulu-produced miniseries starring James Franco as an English teacher who stumbles back in time to the '60s, trying to stop the assassination of John F Kennedy. The resulting series was okay, at times drawing me in with the conspiracy theories combined with simple Americana that made the book so interesting to me. But even with a mere eight episodes, there were plenty of moments where little was happening and plenty of material could have been cut. It almost feels like this would have worked better as a 2-hour movie. Franco feels a little miscast too, lacking that everyman quality that characterized the protagonist. But at least unlike that Under the Dome adaptation from a few years ago, Hulu has the good sense to just let this single season stand on its own.


Togetherness: Season 2
I don't have much to say here beyond what Stan did, except for how conflicted I am about the finale, which was both perfect and kinda bad at the same time. It successfully wrapped up most of the character conflicts in realistic ways, and yet the main story for the season- the attempted formation of a charter school, ends in such an overly-saccharine way that felt completely at odds with the rest of the show. Oh well, goodbye, Togetherness. You were good.


Animals: Season 1
Animals, however, was not so good. So far the only cartoon I've liked that let its voice actors improvise now and then was Home Movies so many years ago. Two bad Rick and Morty episodes and this pile of garbage make me think that success was a one-time fluke and the idea should be put to rest for good. I hated Animals so much- its poor animation (admittedly that was a stylistic choice), its unfunny jokes wasting the talents of so many funny people, that horrible silent side-story where a corrupt mayor goes on a rampage. The few times the show shined was when it dropped all story completely and turned into a music video- first when the A$AP Mob showed up as a bunch of rapping cats, then again when Kurt Vile takes drugs with a bunch of squirrels. Other than that, this was crap.


Girls: Season 5
Consensus all over the internet seems to be that Girls had a major comeback in season five, and I agree- I was excited for it to come back with every episode, it was so on fire. But what made this season different? The first idea that occurred to me was that this was the season where the writers made no mistake that our main characters were at all decent people, and wrote them in a way so we would relish and laugh at every failure they made. Oh, look at how shitty Hannah is being on a summer road trip! I'm glad Fran is ripping her apart (verbally) and that her ex is quietly banging one of her best friends. And hey, Marnie pronounces Ecuador so pretentiously, good thing she's stuck married to that loser Desi. And yet, this doesn't really cover it. Because the characters do periodically redeem themselves. Hannah gives a reading at The Moth to end the season and appears to finally be at peace with what's happened to her. Marnie reconnects with an old flame in one of the best episodes the show has produced and it appears to help her finally give her some backbone. Jessa for the first few episodes is really pushing herself to be a better person- studying hard for school and avoiding any contact with Adam, which he of course ruins. Even Shosh shows off her marketing skills to save Ray's coffee shop. So I don't know, maybe this was the season where no one was too awful, and everyone was a more well-rounded and funny character? The initial hubbub of the series has died down completely, and there's only one more season to go- let's hope Lena Dunham and everyone else stick the landing.


Better Call Saul: Season 2
Better Call Saul will probably never live up to the heights of Breaking Bad, but that's fine. It's a spin-off of perhaps the greatest show ever, and it makes a strong case for being the best show on tv right now. I was going to come back and write more than that, but I'll let it be.


Broad City: Season 3
While I watched the first two seasons of this show and enjoyed them somewhat, I was not on the bandwagon that so many people were- I'm still surprised AVClub ranked its first season as the second best show on tv in 2014. It's funny, but pretty forgettable most of the time. I think I liked this third season a little more than the previous ones, but not by much. If I feel like making some more tv cuts in 2017, Broad City is likely near the top of the list.


Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 3
Here's another one that could make for an easy cut. Brooklyn Nine-Nine is a show that to me always felt like it was on the precipice of greatness, but just never got there. Imagine if The Office or Parks and Rec were about cops never got much better after their first seasons. It's also a show where I just can't get myself to suspend disbelief- none of these people really seem like cops to me, and of course they don't, they're mostly comedians. But that disconnect keeps me from investing too much in the show. Maybe I'll give it another half-season or so.


Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Season 2
This one's nothing amazing, but one of the better comedies I've been watching. I didn't expect "girl escapes from captivity to start a new life in New York City" to carry a quality show for too long, but two seasons in, Kimmy Schmidt is still great. I hope David Cross sticks around next season too.


Vice: Season 4
Here's another one of the few unscripted shows I'll post about. If you've ever followed Vice Media on Twitter or Facebook, you might think it's just another crap factory similar to Buzzfeed or Gawker. I assure you, give the HBO show a shot! It's completely different! It's a news program that usually covers two stories in 30 minutes, and given all that time, they can really dive in deep on these topics, usually covering stories that other networks won't touch- some of the best episodes this season focused on the emerging business relationship between China and Africa, the effect of the meat industry on the environment, and an excellent look at women's rights in Afghanistan. Sure, the show can be a downer sometimes, and the parody Documentary Now! made about sending hipsters into warzones is close to the truth. But it's still the only news program I watch with regularity.


Peep Show: Season 3
Ho hum. I'll probably ease up on my series-per-month pace with Peep Show now, since each season is having less of an effect on me than the last. It's still very funny, but it's definitely not treading any new ground. A potential wedding before or at the start of season four could shake things up a bit.


Saturday Night Live: Season 41
It's been another up and down season for Saturday Night Live, but one with perhaps the most glaring misstep in several years- an episode hosted by then-potential, now-confirmed republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, which was just awful on every level regardless of politics. Still though, there were bright spots- Kate McKinnon is flourishing, and with her breakout role in the recent Ghostbusters remake, my guess is she's going to become very famous and we'll consider these "the McKinnon years" of SNL. The show's always going to be pretty rough around the edges- I feel like I watch it more at this point as the comedic minor leagues, where I try to predict who will break out and who will get cut, and if I laugh along the way, that's good too.


The X-Files: Season 2
More of the same here in the X-Files' second season. There were a few standout episodes, and the show seemed to be at its strongest when it went for a more serialized story over a few episodes rather than monster-of-the-weeks, which it sounds like will quickly change.


Transparent: Season 2
Transparent was excellent in its second season, and I wish I finished it in time to place it in my "best of 2015" list. The seasons starts with nuptials just as gut-wrenching as any wedding George R. R. Martin has cooked up, and goes on to feature seemingly unrelated dreamy flashbacks to Nazi Germany, BDSM, feminist gatherings in the woods, and just a small number of characters who don't identify as LGBT in some way. It would be so easy for this balance to not work, for the show to come off as preachy and heavy-handed, but it all works so well that I can't wait for season three of this show to continue to push the envelope.


Modern Family: Season 7
I've kept up with Modern Family this long because Katie's still very into it, but it seems like the whole thing's just going on a bit too long. Either that or the need for 20+ episodes each season is really sapping any creativity left. It's just not very funny anymore!


Bob's Burgers: Season 6
For a long time Bob's Burgers seemed like one of the best shows that no one I knew was watching. Now everyone is watching it, and even though its overall ratings are starting to drop, it's got at least two more seasons left and appears  its going to be a part of the Fox Sunday night animation lineup for years to come. It's been a steady, pleasant source of laughs for years now, and that reliability has rendered the seasons essentially meaningless to me- the overall quality of the series hasn't increased or dropped in a long time.


The Last Man on Earth: Season 2
On the other hand, the quality of The Last Man on Earth varies wildly from episode to episode. Season two seemed content to spin its wheels and reuse some of the same old wacky sitcom plots albeit in a post-apocalyptic setting, but a few episodes really took advantage of the setting and gave me something new. I'm thinking specifically of the premier, focusing solely on Will Forte and Kristin Schaal's characters, and a few episodes from the back half of the season where a main cast member dies, and is eventually replaced by Forte's long-lost brother. I know sometimes this show just wants to tell dumb jokes about margarita pools and zany facial hair, but there are high stakes in this story! Stop pretending like there aren't!


The Simpsons: Season 27
After over a decade of not watching The Simpsons with any regularity, I finally came back for no real reason for season 27. It was fine. Even people who never liked The Simpsons know that the magic is long gone, so I won't pile on. I have no idea if I'll stick around for season 28, so I'll see how I'm feeling come premier night.


The Americans: Season 4
Four seasons into The Americans, and I'm all-in on this show about Cold War-era Russian spies. Season three felt like a slight step down from the incredible seconds season, and while it would be tough for any show to reach those highs again, the back half of season four comes close. What's odd here is that this season felt like so much conclusion, at least to some of the biggest subplots outside of Philip and Elizabeth's main mission- two major characters who felt like they had been hanging out by a thread finally had their stories end here, and they'll be sorely missed. But we've got two more seasons! How can they possibly keep going without getting caught? I've said it before on last year's podcast, but in addition to the excellent acting and writing here, the show nails tension better than anything else on tv in my opinion. It's must-see-live television for me, which really puts it up in a league with Game of Thrones.


Archer: Season 7
Archer keeps chugging along, steadily providing us with a lot of great jokes, but not much else in my opinion. I don't know, seven seasons in, this show just doesn't feel fresh anymore. I appreciate that the season attempted to reboot things similar to the previous Archer: Vice, and the show is still very funny, but it's just not sticking with me in a way that has me desperate for more episodes.


Game of Thrones: Season 6
Game of Thrones took a bit of a stumble last year, fusing together portions of three separate books and forced to create some action out of some of the most boring parts of the story- an especially hard sell after easily the most exciting part was told in the season before that. But as season six took us entirely into new material, the show returned to "elite tv" status. There were plenty of moments of payoff that the show had been building to from the very beginning, as well as some great twists that even the most hardcore fans didn't see coming. It was a season that really cleaned house too, eliminating a few unnecessary characters and storylines and streamlining things down into a few major conflicts that will probably carry us through the final two (?) seasons.


Veep: Season 5
Veep's a show that feels like it's improved with every season- what started as a reasonably funny political satire is now one of the funniest shows on television with a ridiculously deep bench of supporting characters. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is at her comedic best this season, especially in a mid-season episode where the passing of her mother is turned into cheap political points. Five seasons in I doubt my recommendation will change anyone's opinion of this show, but I give my recommendation nonetheless!


Silicon Valley: Season 3
Silicon Valley, coming off a stellar second season, backpedalled a bit with a decent third. It's just as funny as ever, but a little stagnant. It's funny watching Richard and his Pied Piper employees constantly snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, but each season just seems like a constant cycle of this until the big win in the finale returns everything to normal. The stakes are high on this show, but it doesn't really feel like it anymore! Still though, very funny, and I'll continue to watch. I'm probably just nitpicking.


The Mindy Project: Season 4
Any time I've spoken positively about the Mindy Project to friends, it's been quickly rebuffed. Okay, so maybe this show isn't one I should recommend heavily. It's a fun little sitcom that takes a lot of influence from romantic comedies, and is the brainchild of Mindy Kaling, who apparently isn't as beloved as I thought. I think most of the derision the show gets comes from a poorly-received first season that I skipped entirely. I enjoyed the second and third seasons plenty, but here in its fourth, despite a move to Hulu that granted the show more creative freedom, the show started to lose me. The main storyline from season three saw Mindy finally move away from the constant dating and one-night-stands and start committing to a real relationship with Danny, a fellow doctor that she's clearly supposed to be matched up with in this show-universe. But then in season four the storyline fell completely apart, with Danny and Mindy acting completely out of character and fighting about nothing constantly. The show returned to being about Mindy dating some new guy every episode or two and lost its central relationship in a way that felt completely unnatural and screamed of outside influence- the popular theory was that Danny's actor, Chris Messina, was trying to get a movie career started and didn't have time for this little Hulu show anymore. The show's been renewed for another season and it looks like Messina will be back in the fold in a larger capacity, so hopefully Mindy and company can right the ship.


Orphan Black: Series 4
Alright, I have to admit that here at the end of the fourth season of Orphan Black, I'm totally lost. I don't really understand the motivations for like half of the characters anymore, and I have no idea where this is going. It's a science fiction mess whose rules are clearly getting made up as it goes along. Yet somehow, I care anyway, because the core four main characters are just so fun to watch. If they just turned this show into a spinoff featuring nothing but Alison and Felix hijinks, I would watch.


Master of None: Season 1
Stan recommended Master of None pretty hard during last year's tv podcast, so I always knew I'd get around to it at some point. And here we are 8 months later. It's good! It's a comedy that's not always funny but it tackles some pretty big issues without getting preachy. The central relationship is adorable. And while the main dialog is usually kinda dumb, I have to admit it sounds incredibly realistic, because people say way more dumb stuff in real life than on tv. It's good! Watch it!


Lady Dynamite: Season 1
Maria Bamford's new show about dealing with her mental illness and trying to get her career back on track has Mitchell Hurwitz's fingerprints all over it, which is a winning combination, but I have to admit that Lady Dynamite was just exhausting to watch. I feel like I "appreciated" it more than I "enjoyed" it. Maybe I should try some of her stand-up to get a better feel for her humor? Trev says she's one of his favorites. This is absolutely not for everyone.


Narcos: Season 1
Now that I'm most of the way caught up on the best of what Netflix has to offer, I wanted to try dipping my feet into some of the B-level shows to see if I'd like them- Narcos, Bloodline, House of Cards, hell, maybe even Marco Polo if the feeling strikes me. First up is Narcos, and while it definitely doesn't pack the emotional punch of Orange is the New Black, Lady Dynamite or Master of None, I was pleasantly surprised. The show details the rise of Pablo Escobar and his Medellin cartel, who sold unimaginably large amounts of cocaine to the United States in the '80s. The show isn't perfect- not every emotional beat really lands, it spends a lot of unnecessary time focusing on two bland drug enforcement agents trying to bring Pablo down, and it's extremely heavy on subtitled Spanish- great for authenticity, but definitely not easy for binge-watching. But it's still pretty fun to watch! Apparently some liberties have been taken with history, so I'm not sure how much of the story matches up with reality, but there's a lot more here than your usual gangster/kingpin tale. Escobar really is just a bizarre person whose values are hard to place, and Wagner Moura is a treat to watch playing him. Season two comes out in a month. I'll watch, but given how quickly the first season burned through story (the cartel is already a massive success by the end of the first episode!), I'm curious how long this can stay interesting. 


Maron: Season 4
Marc Maron is one of my favorite podcasters, delivering insightful interviews with a lot of very interesting people; his TV show hasn't been nearly as good as his podcast, but I've stuck with it for the past four years for reasons that don't make sense to me. And I was rewarded with easily the best, most focused season of the show, as the fourth and final season sees Marc recovering from his drug relapse in the season three finale and setting out to figure out a life in which he can truly be happy, away from the glamor of show business. The common criticism of the show is that it's a half-assed Louie, but I don't buy it- Maron never really gets abstract at all and the show has an internal logic that Louie never adheres to; still, it's clearly the lesser of the two shows about slightly less successful versions of their respective comedians, and no one needs to watch this- the payoff of one very good season wasn't worth it.


Orange is the New Black: Season 4
Finally, the fourth season of Orange is the New Black, a show that to me has just been on fire stretching back to its season two finale. Season three ended with a glimmer of hope, a beautiful final scene in which nearly all of the inmates manage to escape the confines of Litchfield to a nearby lake for an hour or so of freedom from the drudgery of prison life. That looks like it might be the last moment of happiness in the show though, as season four digs deeper than ever before into the problems that result of making a prison for-profit. The overcrowding, slashing of freedoms, and complete inability of the staff to see the inmates as humans, all of this boils over into a finale that seems like one of the most controversial TV episodes in years. Orange is the New Black isn't slowing down at all four years in, so I'm excited to see where this goes next (and if Piper will remain a central character- she has to, right? She's right in the middle of that picture!).

July 31, 2016

Oxenfree


Pardon the brevity - just trying to get this one posted while it's still July. I have half of an intention to make a longer write-up over at gametimebro.com but even if I don't, well, we're still all waiting for Webber to finish giving his thoughts on A Link Between Worlds, aren't we?

"Teenage conversation simulator" is an apt description of this game. So is "radio static horror mystery." Have fun!

July 29, 2016

Stan's Movie Dump: June/July 2016

See that? After going hard as hell on movies earlier this year to the tune of two dump posts a month, here's a two-month dump post. Slowing it down. Slowing it down so hard, you guys!

Once more, I'll be giving each movie a three-part rating of sorts - "Anticipation," "Enjoyment," and "In Retrospect," each ranked on a scale from 1-5. Thanks again, LittleWhiteLies, for lending me this concept.


Horrible Bosses
3-2-2
Always figured I'd see this one day, and that day happened to be a day when I flew across the Atlantic Ocean. This is really five years old already? Damn. The one thing I'd heard about it was how raunchy-dirty-sexy Jennifer Aniston was. Lo and behold, that's also the one thing I'll remember about it. The jokes were fine and the plot wasn't nearly as formulaic and predictable as it could have been, but it never all came together into anything special. 


The Heat
2-3-2
What's worse than watching a movie on a plane movie? Watching an R-rated movie that's been hilariously and terribly edited for television on a plane. Actually, I take that back - the two dozen "piece of scums" and "frick yous" might have made this a more humorous experience. Nothing bad here - it's a standard Paul Feig-Melissa McCarthy collaboration - and the biggest pleasant surprise may have been Sandra Bullock's knack for physical comedy. (Then again I did see Miss Congeniality all those years ago - maybe this shouldn't have been so surprising.) Spy - which I saw earlier this year, but which came out later than The Heat - was much better.


Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
2-5-4
A real unexpected treat. This is the best I've ever seen Robert Downey, Jr. - yes, including in Iron Man - and it's also the best I've seen Val Kilmer. If you asked me to describe the plot I'd shrug, but it's a dark comedy and also an almost-sort-of-earnest noir thriller. Just a delight to sit through, and to watch, and to listen to. Absolutely makes me want to see The Nice Guys, the latest from Shane Black.


Sunshine
2-4-3
A crew of six astronaut-scientists is on a perilous mission to "jump start" the sun with an enormous nuclear bomb. The sun has grown cold and stagnant, you see, and everyone on earth is freezing. I liked this a lot, but could never shake the feeling that it was a slightly lesser version of Europa Report, a similar movie about a mission to Jupiter's ice moon that I saw last summer. (Yes, Sunshine is the older movie by seven years or so. But still!) This came flying off the rails in the third act, transitioning from an eerie-but-pretty science fiction flick into a full blown - well, another genre entirely, and even sharing which one would spoil it almost entirely. I liked this!


Not Another Teen Movie
3-4-4
How hadn't I seen this one before? And why was it so critically panned? This was - shockingly - hilarious. The 2000s saw a glut of shameless "parody" movies that got progressively lazier and less creative. Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, all of those sequels to Scary Movie. But where those were all content to hash together cheap pop culture references and stale jokes, Not Another Teen Movie was clever more often than crude and it was subtle just as often as it was blatant. Loaded with visual gags and tropes from what felt like every single high school movie from the '80s and '90s - and there were tons, you may recall - this thing just worked from start to finish. Maybe the fifteen years between when critics saw this and when I did have given me a rosier, forgiving, nostalgic perspective or something like that, but I thought this was absolutely great. Disagree? Consider how the high school movies that came out after this one (Mean Girls, She's the ManSuper Bad) were markedly different in tone and self-awareness than the high school movies that came out before it (American Pie, She's All That, Never Been Kissed). This movie so thoroughly deconstructed the genre that it had to be rebuilt from scratch. You know, either that, or 9/11 obliterated our collective ability to apply meaningful stakes to clique-crossing high school romances even in our fictional narratives. Or maybe it was a little of each? Regardless, oh man, Chris Evans was great here. Everyone was.


The Iron Giant
3-3-2
All kinds of hype preceded this. I remember seeing ads for this way back in 1999 and just having no interest at all. Seventeen years later I'd heard "ugh so underrated" and "it'll make you cry" and "the last great non-computer-animated movie ever made" enough times to finally go see what all the fuss was about. And folks - I'm still not seeing it! I'm sorry. Yeah, there's a certain tone here somewhere between '50s nostalgia and Cold War paranoia, but at the end of the day I have to call almost everything about this movie generic and formulaic, from the characters to their conflicts and right down to the resolution. Maybe a tad darker than most animated kids' movies, but only by half a shade. It just wasn't anything more than I assumed it was when I was eleven - and I didn't care back then, either. It's fine! Just fine, though.

That's all for now.

July 27, 2016

Inside


Was struggling to find a new game to get into (despite the rest of the games that are already staring me in the face filling me with guilt for ignoring them -- yes, I see you Witcher 3), and then Stan suggests this title. Inside. The spiritual sequel to Limbo. (Or was it a prequel?)

All that aside, it's from the same makers as Limbo and the game is built in roughly the same design. It's a linear platform within a dazzling minimalistic 3D environment. You solve clever little puzzles to move along and as you progress, you slowly begin to piece together a the game's very abstract story. 

I'm of two minds of this game. The first is that I loved it. It was both visually beautiful and psychologically morbid, and the game didn't waste a second at sucking me into it's dreary, stunning ambiance -- piquing my curiosity to where I was and what I was suppose to be doing. Inside starts with a little boy (your character) tumbling down a hill into some woods and before you know it you're off running away from some unknown men and are seemingly trying to survive in some sort of dystopian society of mindless slaves serving... someone or something. I... I've already said too much. 

While I loved playing this game and thoroughly enjoyed the puzzles, I was left somewhat unsatisfied with how everything ended. Without spoiling anything, the story really left me with a lot of unanswered questions. (I even took to the internet and found an endless slew of theories for what the story could have possibly meant, meaning no one knows for certain what the fuck is going on.) Not to mention I felt as though the gameplay ended way, way too soon. Stan warned me ahead of time that this was maybe a 3-hour game. To me, it felt more like 90 minutes. And at $20 to purchase it, I feel like I should have got a bigger bang for my buck. Just saying...

However, if you liked Limbo (or just enjoy the idea of playing through a series of morbid-yet-brilliant brainteasers), then definitely check this title out. My only suggestion: maybe wait until the price drops to about $10 before you spend your money on something you'll likely beat in a night. Despite it's accomplishments, Inside does not have the heft to warrant the price tag it currently carries. 

July 24, 2016

XCOM: Enemy Unknown


Just a few months ago, I was ready to buy this title on PS3 for ten bucks or so. It's one I've had my eye on for a little while, but ultimately I balked - not now, too many games to play, etc. Fortunately, two weeks later it was free as part of Xbox's Games with Gold deal. I jumped on it, started playing it a couple weeks ago, and here I am today.

XCOM is a turn-based tactical battling game not unlike Final Fantasy Tactics or Advance Wars or Fire Emblem. You equip your guys and make upgrades and such from a headquarters screen, then you send your guys into battle and control them during firefights in isometric grid environments. What it reminded me most of all was a zoomed-out Valkyria Chronicles; enemies could shoot you from cover while you moved and perma-death was always on.

I liked it! At first. But chalk up another unfortunate tally in the "long and repetitious" category. In addition to being real damn hard, even on easy mode, XCOM was real damn long, even without doing much of the optional content. No, I take that back - it was too hard unless you grinded through a lot of "optional" content - so it was either very hard or very long - or more realistically, a combination of both. Gah!

For real though, I did enjoy the concept and the gameplay here and I'd be interested in checking out XCOM 2 at some point.

July 22, 2016

Band of Bearded Brothers


Did you hear? The Sox won the World Series in 2013. It was great!

July 19, 2016

Murder on the Orient Express


A man lies dead in the sleeping car of a snowbound train, stabbed a dozen times. But which of the thirteen passengers could have done such a thing? Fear not, for legendary 1930s detective Hercule Poirot is on the case! Let's listen in as he runs over the facts and the evidence with his colleagues...
"So, you see, sir, he couldn't have done it. Tonio may be a foreigner, sir, but he's a very gentle creature – not like those nasty murdering Italians one reads about." 
"This is the act of a man driven almost crazy with a frenzied hate – it suggests more that Latin temperament. Or else it suggests, as our friend the chef de train insisted, a woman." 
"A miserable race, the English – not sympathetic." 
"It is a woman. Depend upon it, it was a woman. Only a woman would stab like that." 
"I have the little idea, my friend, that this is a crime very carefully planned and staged. It is a far-sighted, long-headed crime. It is not – how shall I express it? – a Latin crime. It is a crime that shows traces of a cool, resourceful, deliberate brain – I think an Anglo-Saxon brain." 
"He is an Italian, and Italians use the knife! And they are great liars! I do not like Italians." 
"She seems a very charming young lady – the last person in the world to be mixed up in a crime of this kind. She is cold. She has not emotions. She would not stab a man – she would sue him in the law courts.”
Oh boy, wow!

Seriously, I actually found Agatha Christie's characters' antiquated but earnest prejudices kind of charming. Look at this eccentric little investigator, putting as much weight behind the idea that Italians are stab-happy thugs as he does behind key pieces of evidence like a dropped handkerchief and a broken pocket watch. The whole book made me feel giddy imagining some sort of Professor Layton spin-off where phrenology and sexism are Layton's modus operandi. "Now Luke, a gentleman never bothers a lady during her blood week. That would be a decidedly Greek thing to do."

At any rate, this one's a classic, and I can see why. A car train stuck in a snowstorm provides an almost too-perfect murder mystery set up, and while the ultimate solution pushes the limits of what's believable it doesn't quite break them entirely. And Poirot is so polite and calm while treating everyone around him like an idiot that you hardly notice the bigoted arrogance baked into his deductions. I didn't like this as much as And Then There Were None but Agatha Christie is now two for two on my end.

July 15, 2016

Inside


The short of it: Yep, this is Limbo all over again in the best possible way.

The long of it: To say anything specific about this game would lessen the experience of anyone about to play it. I went in without expecting a thing and I was constantly intrigued and creeped out and amazed and entertained. It takes a certain level of game design to be able to make something this unique and reaction-inducing using low-end graphics and no more buttons than an NES controller uses, but Playdead is up for the task. Limbo felt like lightning in a bottle, and yet without changing much about that formula at all, Inside might be even better. How'd they do it all over again? Gah! Play this. No Limbo experience is necessary but, hey, play that one too if you haven't already.

July 13, 2016

Zero Time Dilemma


I've gushed twice already on this blog about the Zero Escape franchise. First there was Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors, which consumed all the non-celebrating parts of my Christmas week in 2011. Then came Virtue's Last Reward, which occupied me for another week-long chunk, this one causing me to arrive late for work. Here and now, in this crazy busy summer of 2016 where all logress has slowed to a standstill, leave it to Zero Time Dilemma to get me going again. This one was also beaten in the span of a week, which is maybe more impressive when you realize that said week included stays at two different hotels. What can I say? These games are addicting as all hell!

I'll tread lightly and promise no spoilers since I know Sween is currently busy with Virtue's Last Reward (yes, finally!) but the way that game ended absolutely screamed for a a sequel. And then a year later Aksys was like, "shit, sorry guys, no one has any interest in a third Zero Escape game. We're pulling the plug." Crushing! But then just last year out of the blue Aksys was like, "hey guys, it turns out we're absolutely making that third Zero Escape game." And roughly ten thousand peoplegot, you know, hype. I was one of them!

Zero Time Dilemma once again combines escape the room puzzles and branching "choose your own adventure" decision trees to weave an elaborate and intricate visual novel that isn't afraid of getting philosophical or pseudo-scientific.

Unfortunately, this was easily the weakest game of the bunch, not only failing to resolve a few of the threads left dangling in the second game, but also kind of wimping out on its own internal loose threads. Not helping matters is the switch from text-based character interactions in the first two games (visual novels) to cutscene-based storytelling this go-round (so, basically just movies). And with four of the nine characters in this game being returning characters from the previous two games (June and Junpei from 999; Sigma and Phi from Virtue's Last Reward) we're left without a whole lot of mystery surrounding the five newbies. Two of them fall horribly flat, in fact - talking Mira and Eric of course - and at one point the game pulls a bait and switch that probably would have made for a great twist had it not left me so utterly confused.

Okay, so both the story and the characters are the weakest they've ever been. The good news? Zero Time Dilemma contains the hardest escape the room puzzles yet (either that or I'm getting rapidly dumber with age) and this is absolutely the scariest and goriest and mind-bending-est game in the bunch as well. Comparisons to Saw have always come easily to Zero Escape, but here they've really kicked up the gore a notch and even the central nine-person game is pretty stark and bleak; once six people have died, the remaining three may escape.

All things considered, I'm stoked and jazzed and tickled to bits that we got a third Zero Escape game at all, and even though it doesn't quite live up to the first two, it's a great game in its own right.

July 3, 2016

Stan's TV Dump: May/June 2016

TV has slowed down something substantial here in the summertime, but it's also finally getting really good. #MakeTelevisionGreatAgain... Oh man, sorry for that.


New Girl: Season 5
When New Girl didn't start airing last fall because Zooey Deschanel was pregnant and the fifth season had to get delayed, I found myself mildly missing the show. And that's good! But when Zooey Deschanel was absent for several episodes early on due to said pregnancy, I thought the show got a lot better. So did everyone else I know who watches New Girl, which is like, six whole people. And that's less good! Look, it's no secret that TV shows of all stripes tend to get a little stale and repetitive as they age; the shows that stay good the longest are the ones that know when and how to mix things up without irreparably ruining whatever worked so well in the first place. And frankly, New Girl could use a lot less Jess, who is no longer even, you know, the "new" girl. All in all, a good season of a good show.


The Last Man on Earth: Season 2
I have no idea how I feel about this show anymore. What started out as an interesting idea with a talented cast (a comedy in a post-apocalyptic world with only a handful of survivors) quickly turned into just the most mundane sitcom (this guy's juggling two love interests! that lady can't get pregnant!) in Season 2. Was that the joke? If so, not the sharpest satire. It's sadly believable that the last five or ten people in the world would just kind of hang out and bicker instead of attempting to rebuild society, but I'm not sure how well it works on a TV show - particularly one with so much potential like The Last Man on Earth had. A poignant finale saved this season from falling off entirely, but I want more from Season 3 than people drinking wine and killing time.


Modern Family: Season 7
Even among the small percentage of sitcoms that last more than a year or two, nothing gold can stay. If we're being honest, most comedies that make it to their seventh season aren't nearly as smart, funny, clever, or relevant as they were back when they debuted. That makes sense - you develop a certain show with a certain idea in mind and cast it a certain way, and seven years later the show shouldn't really look or feel like it did during its pilot. Change and adaptation are hard. What am I even getting at here? Modern Family kind of feels like it wants to be the same show it was seven years ago, introducing new child characters to fill in for the old ones who've turned into teenagers and so on. But this show just isn't funny anymore! Or topical, really - which is a good thing! The idea of two gay men getting married and adopting a baby may have been a conversation starter back in 2009 but it just isn't anymore. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's really no compelling reason to watch Modern Family anymore. If you love "hanging out" with these characters, fine - that's reason enough, and always is when it comes to sitcoms. Me? I could take or leave the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tuckers. We'll see if Season 8 draws me back.


Bob's Burgers: Season 6
As so many Fox animated sitcoms before it seemed to do, Bob's Burgers has faded into "Sunday night afterthought" status for me. That's fine! This is still a funny and creative show worth recording and watching every week. It just isn't appointment viewing for me these days by any stretch.


Archer: Season 7
Maybe it was the shortened season - ten episodes instead of thirteen - but this was the first season of Archer that ever ended and left me wondering, "wait, that's it?" This is still one of the steadiest and most consistently funny shows I watch, and even a relatively down season of Archer still qualifies as pretty good television, so I'm not concerned or disappointed. Curious to see what comes next, mostly.


Daredevil: Season 2
Meh. Consider me unimpressed. Several friends of mine love this show but I just couldn't find myself caring for more than an hour or two this season. That's par for the Marvel course, unfortunately. I can't see myself continuing down this particular path - which might be fine, since a third season of Daredevil hasn't even been confirmed yet.


The Americans: Season 4
There's no show I want to love more than The Americans - a barely-watched, super-tense, critically-beloved Cold War spy thriller. It's sexy! And patient. And just excellent in general. But it's also just a tad too slow - too unwilling to really step on that gas pedal - and as a result, four seasons in, I still haven't been able to rank this as one of my "top five shows" in any given year. I really do like this show, and I like it a lot. But I don't love it quite as much as I want to. Is that on me, or is that on The Americans?


Lady Dynamite: Season 1
This was great. I'd never even heard of it until it came out on my birthday and Netflix was all, "hey, you might enjoy this." I did! I enjoyed this a lot! Mitch Hurwitz and Maria Bamford teamed up for this very specific and unique semi-autobiographical comedy about comedy and mental illness. It's absolutely not for everyone, but I dug it and it sounds like Sween does too. Like, make no mistake, this is Maria Bamford's show first and foremost, but... Mitch Hurwitz! Arrested Development!


Game of Thrones: Season 6
Probably the biggest TV show in the world - maybe ever? - when Game of Thrones stumbles it stumbles hard. It's such a vast and epic undertaking that it can't possibly be tightly written and elegantly paced; ten-episode seasons with enormous budgets for locations, costumes, a sprawling cast, and all those special effects, I mean, it's just such a fast-paced show at this point. Character introductions - and more importantly, characters getting written out or relegated to the sidelines - might be a little clunky. Plots might end or shift abruptly. Fine! So be it. It's all worth it in the end! No other show is capable of the things Game of Thrones is capable of. And that's why, half way through the year, it currently stands in the pole position as my favorite show of 2016.


Silicon Valley: Season 3
HBO was absolutely on fire with its springtime Sunday night lineup, following Game of Thrones every week with two of the best comedies on television. Silicon Valley didn't really improve in its third season, and narratively speaking it sort of spun its wheels in order to leave the Pied Piper boys in the same situation they'd already been in. Still, that's cool - great show! Great cast, too. Even if it wasn't quite as good as it was in its second season, Silicon Valley remains one of the funniest shows on TV.


Veep: Season 5
God damn, this show is great. I've probably outlined my history with Veep before here, but for the first two seasons I fell firmly into the "like it, don't love it" camp. All of that changed in Season 3 when the show hit a new level for me and it just hasn't looked back since. You'd think after five seasons, a political satire would either grow stale or get absurdly over-the-top, but, no, Veep is as good as it's ever been. The way this season ended, it could have been a series finale (it wasn't) and I have no idea where the hell the writers will go - hell, even can go - next year. But after the last three years I feel like I've got very little reason to be worried.

Damn, hefty lineup this time around. Too early to tell, but each of the last five shows on this list could easily wind up in my year-end top ten. But we'll get there when we get there. For now, enjoy the rest of your summer!