Nintendo Land

Frankly, for me there's no telling when you've really "beaten" this game. For the unfamiliar, it's a collection of twelve minigames based on existing Nintendo franchises, ostensibly set at a carnival-like place, and designed to show off different features of the Wii U's controllers and overall potential. It's a giant marketing gimmick, plain and simple. But it's also a lot of fun, particularly in these early stages of the Wii U's lifetime when the multiplayer games are quite limited. Some minigames are meant to be played with friends cooperatively, others against friends competitively, and all the rest entirely solo - though these still provide plenty of competition fodder in the form of high score battles. Anyway, I've played all twelve of the games multiple times and I've unlocked several modes and I've mastered a few of the minigames (two, I think?) and I've shown the game off to family members the way you'd show off Wii Sports to family members in 2007. In essence, I'd say I've experienced the vast bulk of this one, and while plenty of individual challenges remain, I've done enough to comfortably call this one "beaten." Not 100% finished or completed or anything, but certainly "beaten." I don't want to drone on and describe each of the twelve games in detail, so instead I'll offer a superlative for each one.

Least enjoyable game I am most skilled at: Yoshi's Fruit Cart

Most enjoyable game I am least skilled at: Donkey Kong's Crash Course

Best solo adventure: Pikmin Adventure

Best cooperative adventure: The Legend of Zelda: Battle Quest

Most intuitive control scheme: Mario Chase

Clumsiest control scheme: Metroid Blast

Most replay value: Captain Falcon's Twister Race

Least replay value: Takamaru's Ninja Castle

Most stressful game: Animal Crossing: Sweet Day

Most relaxing game: Balloon Trip Breeze

Overall most essential game: Luigi's Ghost Mansion

Overall least essential game: Octopus Dance

Fight me on these superlatives. No, really. I'm dying to give Nintendo Land some kind of meaningful place in the Back-Blogged zeitgeist.

English Country Tune

This one was added to the indie Humble Bundle I bought several months ago, several weeks after I purchased it- I swear, once you sign up for Steam it's like they just start throwing more games at you than you can handle. I had never heard anything about English Country Tune, which is a shame because it might be my favorite of all the games in that bundle that I've played. It's really just a no-bullshit series of logic puzzles where you control a flat square that move around on big 3-D platforms by flipping itself over repeatedly. The first set of puzzles may seem familiar at first, in which you attempt to push a marble into a designated hole, but the twist comes up fast- gravity is completely different in this world and depends entirely on the orientation of your little square. For instance, pushing the marble around from the 'ground' may do just that- move the marble where you expect it to, but pushing it in the exact same direction except while attached to the wall, and it'll go flying. This may be tough to visualize, so take a look at this clip to get a better idea of what a mindfuck this is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61YQybRVNPk

 This wouldn't be so tough if you could set the camera exactly how you want it (it's much easier when you can just constantly re-orient gravity as simply "down") but the game insists on snapping back to its designated view before you can move your square, forcing you to think critically about every move you make. It's difficult, and I couldn't even make it past the second set of levels (out of like 15 sets) without a walkthrough, but it's fun just messing around with gravity and seeing what works and what doesn't. New puzzle types show up the further you go, such as "whales" or "gardens". Whales are blocks that you can't touch directly, but have beams of light shooting out in all directions which you can push to move the whale. "Gardens" were easily my favorite kind of logic puzzle, where a new unmovable cube sprouts up on every tile your square lands on, and the level won't finish until you've sprouted every possible cube. My explanation might be shitty here too so check out these gameplay clips:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ef85oibJv0w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WekbRP6KPaw

So yeah, if you're looking for some straight physics puzzles with no extra trappings to distract from the puzzle at hand, English Country Tune certainly fills that need. My only real complaint is the pacing- early on I ran into a puzzle that felt impossible, and wasn't sure if I wanted a whole game to be ball-bustingly hard. But the level of difficulty is seemingly random; sometimes I would waste a half hour on a puzzle, give up and resort to a walkthrough, and then breeze through the next puzzle on my first try. Other than that and the game's non-sensical name (I have no idea what it's supposed to mean), I enjoyed my time with English Country Tune.

The Office: Season 9

Oh boy. Time for another post on the final season of a long-running show. You all know my takes by now; a solid final season can save the legacy of a floundering series, and a solid final episode can make up for a shaky final season. So, how did The Office manage in its ninth and final season? Let's break it down.

The Final Season

It had its share of rough spots, no question. Andy, ostensibly the main character in Season 8, was turned into a full-on villain for no apparent reason. That character has always been hard to pin down, but why they decided to make him an all-out dick in the final season escapes me. Fortunately, he was absent for nearly half of the episodes, all right in the middle of the season. While developments like this only pushed the overall idea of Dunder Mifflin's day-to-day functioning further and further into absurdity - the branch manager is gone for three months, the CEO has no idea, the workers openly abandon any pretense of doing work, and somehow they have their best quarter in years? - it was nice not to have to deal with Andy for a while. That's how terrible he became. Elsewhere, Jim and Pam finally began to experience their first troubled waters in an otherwise storybook-perfect six-year relationship. This was a welcome development, but its execution was iffy at best. That Jim would hide a career-changing decision from Pam seems asinine, given the character. And that Pam would fight Jim on moving away to Philadelphia from Scranton - which had long been established on the show as kind of a place where dreams went to die - doesn't jibe with her eight-year arc of dreaming about doing something more with her life than being a receptionist (and later salesperson) at a failing paper company. The season's worst decision of all was introducing Brian the boom mic guy as a potential wrinkle in the Jim-Pam romance. This is a guy who has worked on the documentary crew covering the office for nine years, who we've never seen nor heard about, who could have made his move on Pam back when she was single, but who instead waits until now that Pam is a married mother of two in order to reach out in some way. Just awful stuff. Why even have this character? Why couldn't someone like Dwight or Toby or one of the new guys filled that role for the four episodes it lasted? It just felt so sloppy and terrible. Overall, though, the final season wasn't sloppy and terrible. It was rough, for sure, and not nearly as funny or emotionally resonant as it once was, but it did all feel more relevant to the overall story of these coworkers and their lives than some of the middle-to-late seasons did - Sabre, DeAngelo Vickers, Robert California, and so on. This was a tired horse, and one that needed to be put down, no question, but it was also a horse that deserved one last lap in the sun. This season was that lap. The horse was hobbling and stumbling sometimes and you had to squint really hard to convince yourself this was the same horse that once ran those laps so beautifully and effortlessly, but the effort was passable enough. And that's my terrible metaphor for Season 9.

The Finale

Almost flawless. The finale was an epilogue, picking up one year after the documentary had finally aired. A few main characters - most of them, really - have retired, left, or otherwise been fired from Dunder Mifflin since then, but they're all back in Scranton on the same weekend for two reasons - a wedding and a "where are they now" style panel where they field questions from the audience about a number of aspects from the show. This latter concept was a great way to shoehorn in a bunch of answers to unresolved questions. And at the wedding, former castmembers Mindy Kaling, B. J. Novak, and Steve Carell returned after year-plus absences from the show. My biggest problem with the finale was the way Michael was used. The show seemed to treat his return far more like the return of the intelligent and kindhearted Steve Carell than the return of the juvenile and often petulant Michael Scott. The character got a few good lines in, but was overall far more dignified and classy than Michael Scott was ever capable of being. I'm sure that's a testament to how his life with Holly and their children has changed him in two or three years, but I mean, we spent seven years watching this guy struggle with basic social cues, making terrible jokes at every opportunity. It was great to have Carell back - truly, the finale wouldn't have felt complete without him - but that was only a faint facsimile of Michael Scott. Oh well. The finale ended with a series of talking heads, with different characters reflecting on their lives and their pasts and futures, and although it was a bit self-congratulatory, the whole thing was rather sentimentally poignant. Especially for Jim and Pam, whose story finally got a satisfying ending after being one of the more frustrating aspects of the ninth season.

The Legacy of The Office

Time will tell how history treats this show, but it has a number of things going for it. For one, it was the last true "hit" of NBC's once vaunted Thursday night comedy lineup. Shows like 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, and Community are arguably of a higher average quality, but none of them ever sniffed the ratings The Office pulled in. Paradoxically, the initial delayed success of The Office represents a significant shift in the way networks judged the value of their shows back in 2005 or so. Back in those early days of online streaming and DVR viewership, The Office was struggling in raw ratings, but was one of the most popular shows on iTunes. NBC nearly canceled it after one season, and then nearly axed it again after a second. Instead, they gambled on these new and nontraditional metrics to gauge a show's popularity and reaped the rewards for years and years. So many years that by the time the show hit its peak in popularity it had already begun its slow but very apparent decline in quality. For my money, the show rebounded from a terrible pilot to lay some key character groundwork in its first season, then started getting pretty consistently good somewhere in the middle of the second season. The third season was perfect, and the fourth was solid but suffered from pacing problems, made worse by the fact that it kicked off with four hour-long episodes and was shortly thereafter interrupted by the writers' strike. The fifth season was full of good moments, and it breathed new life into the series with the additions of Holy and Erin, but things also felt a bit sillier and more absurd than in previous years, in which The Office had been grounded in some semblance of semi-reality. Season 6 was just completely boring, with far too much emphasis on Jim and Pam's lifetime achievements and a company merger that brought on too much Kathy Bates. Season 7 bounced back nicely with the Michael Scott farewell tour, and then Seasons 8 and 9 were just aimless and strange. They had no real reason to exist, since Michael's fulfillment at the end of Season 7 was the emotional climactic moment of the entire series. At least Season 9 ended on a good note. I guess if pressed to rank the seasons from best to worst, I'd go 3-2-5-4-7-1-9-8-6. Granted, this is having seen Seasons 2, 3, 8, and 9 just once each. I look forward to watching the series again one day, probably soon, likely with Marissa. She's seen bits and pieces from the show's entire run, but only earlier this year decided to watch it all in order. We'll jump back into Season 2 at some point soon, I hope.

Anyway, farewell to The Office. It was a memorable nine-year run.

Tron: Legacy

As a sequel to a movie that came out thirty years ago that I have never seen, I did not have high hopes for this to be a great movie. I acquired it because it was $10 and if I bought it I would get another movie for free. Still, I'm not sure there is any point in me owning it. Anyway, this movie looks damn impressive. I'd probably argue that it has better 3D than Avatar. Interestingly, this game is only in 3D IMAX when they are in the video game, but is 2D and not IMAX when they are not in the video game. It's an interesting choice that really works. Still, all the bells and whistles don't make up for a silly story. Sam Flynn, the son of the founder of Encom, Mr. Flynn aka Jeff Bridges (who has been missing for 20 years) is busy doing nothing with his life. He then finds himself physically pulled into the video game his dad invented. Soon after, he's in a fight to save the world in Tron and the world as we know it. His dad created a program to help him save the world, but that program, known as "Clue" decides to destroy the world instead. Did I mention Clue looks like Jeff Bridges from 20 years ago? They used CGI to create this look and the results are impressive, yet pretty unnerving. Anyway, this movie was entertaining, but nothing more than that. Moving on.

Ryse: Son of Rome

Well this is what Crytek has been doing instead of Timesplitters 4. Ryse: Son of Rome has been divisive among critics. Some deem this game garbage because of the repetitive nature of the combat. Others deem it great due to its graphics and high production values. I tend to agree with the latter, but understand why some people are bothered by this game's repetitive nature. First, let's focus on the good. The graphics are incredible. Based on what I've seen, this is the best game on either new system when it comes to showing what these systems can really do. All cut scenes are done with the in-game engine and it's damn impressive. For the first time, I've seen a game in which the characters don't look completely dead behind the eyes. Moreover, the voice acting is good enough to live up to the high bar set by the graphics. But, that's only one part of why I was so impressed by this game. The environments are better than anything I have ever seen. They vary a lot more than I would have expected considering how much this game was slammed. The lighting effects are just crazy good. But, I was expecting great graphics. That's why I got this game. What I wasn't expecting was such an engaging story. The game starts with an aged Marius in a room with the Emperor Nero. Marius explains how he had to watch as Barbarians murdered his entire family 10 years prior. We then follow him through his conquests as Soldier in the Roman Army and his eventual RYSE to General. I won't say too much more in case someone else plays this game at some point, but it was a very satisfying narrative. I loved it for the most part, but I could have used less involvement of the Gods. That story has been done and takes away from the realism that this game brings.

Ok, now the bad. The combat is very, very repetitive and the game is as linear as they come. If this game had combat as satisfying as God of War, it could have gone down as Game of the Year. However, games need to have satisfying gameplay. And this one is not always that satisfying. Each fight feels relatively the same because you can pretty much fight them in the exact same way. Evade, parry, strike, repeat. However, as the opponents become more difficult, the game becomes more satisfying as it is all about timing that combination correctly. Other than being repetitive, the gameplay also suffers from an abundance of quick time events. And all these events are pretty much taken from a pool of 6 or so. Moreover, even if you hit the wrong button, the quick time event goes the same way. You just score more or less points based on what buttons you hit/miss. I found myself wanting to avoid these events entirely, but they were too advantageous as other opponents could not hit you while you were performing them.

Overall, I am glad I played it. It had an engaging story, it was fun at times and it showed me what my Xbox One could do. I just wish the gameplay could be on the level of everything else (which was all top notch). If you find yourself with an Xbox One, I'd give it a recommend. But do not spend $60 on it.

Company Men

David Denby of The New Yorker called this "ONE OF THE YEAR'S BEST FILMS." That's a ridiculous claim. I watched this movie for one reason: the cast. Ben Affleck, Chris Cooper, Craig T. Nelson, Kevin Costner and Tommy Lee Jones. The premise is simple enough: Men who had been working for GTX, a company that has its roots in ship building (like Cruise Ships and such), are fired and subsequently struggle to get their lives back together. The problem I had was that everything in this movie felt so contrived. The CEO Craig T. Nelson is busy building a bigger and better office building with all that money he saved with the firings.  Ben Affleck drives a Porsche and has an $850K house. His wife doesn't work and he has three kids. He belongs to a very expensive country club. He didn't save any money and then immediately moves in with his parents after losing his job. But, it gets worse! "The Best Salesman in Massachusetts" can't find a job he is willing to work. He gets offered a few jobs with salaries around $80K but he says he won't work for that low of a wage. However, 10 minutes later he is forced to work for his brother-in-law (Costner) who happens to hate corporations and has a construction company. But we learn to love Costner after he gives Affleck an extra $100 in his paycheck. Meanwhile, Chris Cooper offs himself because he instantly becomes a drunk after losing his job. Tommy Lee Jones gets a divorce. There's not much point to any of this and the ending is telegraphed 10 minutes into the movie. It's pretty boring. Don't bother. It's all nonsense.

The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds

This game has been posted several times over the past few weeks, so it'd be easy for me to say "check those other posts as I mostly agree with them." But someone else already did that, so I guess I'll put some effort in. First off, I played The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past and posted it on the Blog way back in 2009, and while I liked it, I certainly didn't love it. So when I found out the next Zelda game would be a direct sequel taking place in the same location, I wasn't enthused about the whole thing. But now that I've played A Link Between Worlds, I can see those fears were unfounded- the game is excellent. Yes, the game takes place in almost the exact same environment as Link to the Past, and much like that game had its Dark Hyrule, Link Between Worlds has a reverse Hyrule called Lorule (Har, har). But while locations like the desert and Death Mountain are still in the same places; and the game follows the three dungeons, then master sword, then six more dungeons in the dark world format as the previous game, everything here feels fresh. I chalk that up to two major changes. First, one that was heavily advertised as the gimmick to sell the game, Link can flatten himself onto walls to cross over chasms or squeeze into tight cracks. This may seem like a cheap gimmick for a few puzzles, but it's integrated into the game incredibly well. You will spend a lot of time plastering yourself to walls to solve puzzles and get around both in dungeons and out in the overworld. The game really feels like it wouldn't have worked at all without this gameplay feature, which to me was a huge success. The other big change here was the completely revamped item system, which really sets the game apart from every other previous Zelda game and removes almost all of the game's linearity. Basically after you get the master sword and first venture into Lorule, you are given the option to start renting items. They're fairly cheap, but you need to rent them again each time you die. So right from the start you can acquire every item you'll need to get through the rest of the game. This means you can tackle the remaining levels in any order you want- all are roughly the same level of difficulty, and each one begins with a little puzzle letting you know which specific weapon will be needed to finish it. So not only can you play through the dungeons in any order, you can also skip them entirely and focus only on exploring the overworld, which is packed with secrets and great mini-games. These were the biggest complaints about the direction recent Zelda games had taken- boring overworlds and too much linearity, but A Link Between Worlds does away with both of them. The complaints here are few- the game finishes up a little too quickly to feel like an epic adventure, and since most levels were similar in difficulty, the later ones felt much easier as I had gained more and more upgrades throughout the game. Still though, A Link Between Worlds feels like the game that has finally shaken up Zelda's formula and I'm excited to see where the series goes from here.

Election

A few months back I made a brief post on the film Election, basically damning it with faint praise. I've just read the novel on which it was based and, as is so often the case, the book was better than the movie. Not worlds better or anything, but it further fleshed out the various characters and their motivations and mindsets. If anything, the book felt brief and underdeveloped. Again, I always love a short read (and a quick game and a brief movie) for logging purposes, but when this one ended after 200 pages it seemed like there was easily room for about a hundred more. At the very least, I was impressed enough to look into more of Tom Perrotta's stuff, and this will not be the author's last appearance on this blog.

Columns III

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," you must be saying. "Hold the phone. What happened to Columns II?" It's a great question, and one Wikipedia answered for me; Columns II never got ported from the arcade to the Sega Genesis. It's that simple!

"Whew," you manage to utter, while sighing one of those deep relieving sighs. But then something catches your eye. "So let me ask you this. Why does this game's cover art feature a middle-aged guy with a receding hairline in a yellow T-shirt, acid-washed jeans, and running sneakers sitting on a bounty of gem-like things atop one column between two others?" That's also a great question, but sadly, one that cannot be answered. By anyone. Since 1993, at least.

Alright, anyway, Columns III was - surprise! - exactly like Columns . Almost. The major difference was that it was competitive; you had to do your Tetris-like shape-dropping faster than your AI opponents in this one, and those AI opponents increased in difficulty until the game's brief "story mode" was finished.

Oh yeah - on the title screen, this game's full name was revealed to be Columns III: Revenge of Columns. Yeesh.

Arrow Flash

Alien Storm

Chakan: The Forever Man

Alex Kidd in the Enchanted Castle

Columns III

Columns

Altered Beast

Bonanza Brothers

Columns

You've got this grid. At an increasing frequency, columns of three shapes will begin to descend into the grid. You can rotate the order of the shapes as you see fit as the column is falling down. Line up three shapes of the same color, and they'll disappear.

Sound familiar?

This is Tetris, but with some minor quirks. Just like Dr. Mario and Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine. Except it isn't even named after a doctor.

There's also nothing more to the game than playing it until you die and then seeing what your high score was. I played it once on easy mode and lasted about ten minutes, setting a score of 9,000 or so. I then played it on hard mode and was done within a minute. (Seriously. The columns fell at a clip of like one per second right off the bat.) My score that time? Fifty thousand.

No, really.

Fifty fucking thousand.

Arrow Flash
Alien Storm
Chakan: The Forever Man
Alex Kidd in the Enchanted Castle
Columns
Altered Beast
Bonanza Brothers