January 7, 2014

Chakan: The Forever Man


Problem:
Chakan is a notoriously difficult game. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Solution:
Cheat codes, baby. Cheat codes.

Conclusion:
I can't even blame this game's age for its shortcomings; it came out in 1992, well after plenty of other enjoyable classic titles. I've bemoaned "clunky controls" like two dozen times on this blog, easily. But Chakan just might take the cake for the most sluggish controller input reaction I've ever seen. The tragic irony here is that Chakan is far and away the lengthiest and most expansive game yet in my Genesis backlog. Don't get me wrong - I want these things to come and go as quickly as possible - but I still respect any old game for having an adequate length as long as it's designed well. This one wasn't. Even with all those cheat codes it still took me several cautious hours to end this one, and I can't say I respect it any more for my troubles.

Arrow Flash
Alien Storm
Chakan: The Forever Man
Alex Kidd in the Enchanted Castle
Altered Beast
Bonanza Brothers

Catch As Catch Can


Other than Kurt Vonnegut, there's no author whose works I've posted here more than Joseph Heller, the author of my all time favorite novel, Catch-22. This book is a collection of his writings, ranging from short stories to reflections on life and his career, with a heavy emphasis on Catch-22. What's funny - or maybe kind of disappointing, I guess - is that my absolute favorite portions of this book were the ones that dealt with Catch-22. Whether Heller was reflecting on the film version of Catch-22, or describing some of the real life events in World War II that led him to write Catch-22, or even just creating a one-act play out of a memorably absurd scene from Catch-22, I was eating it all up. The rest of the book I could take or leave. Most of the short stories were too tame and generic to recall with any details even now, and although the collection was some 330 pages long, I guess the bulk of it had no real impact on me. But that's fine; because I'm such a fan of Catch-22 I think this read was worth it. By no mean should anyone go out of their way to read this one until and unless (so, just until) they have read Catch-22.

Seriously.

Go read Catch-22.

January 6, 2014

Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies


Ever since the very inception of Back-Blogged, my white whale has been Dragon Quest VIII, a notoriously long RPG on PS2 into which I've already dumped something like thirty hours and only managed to scratch the surface. About a year ago, I resolved to beat the game once and for all in 2013. I never touched it. I did, however, purchase and play through most of Dragon Quest IX in an attempt to whet my appetite for the slow-paced series. The results? Mostly a mixed bag, with one absolute certainty - I am not more motivated now to play Dragon Quest VIII than I was two months ago.

We'll start with the good. Dragon Quest IX follows the story of a Celestial (basically a guardian angel) who goes down to the world below and must collect golden fruits that fell from a tree in the heavens. It sounds lamer than it is. Think of it as being heavily influenced by the story of the Garden of Eden and the Tree of Knowledge. From there, it's an incredibly standard Japanese RPG with turn-based combat. Grab a band of warriors and mages and go around from town to town and dungeon to dungeon killing monsters and solving problems to collect golden fruit and advance the story. And honestly, for the first forty hours or so, this was a great game. It felt dated in a way that no 2009 DS title should, but also in a way I could tell was intentional and charming. The in-game message speed was way slower than it needed to be - a personal pet peeve of mine - but the game itself, while slow, churned along at a very deliberate pace. I didn't mind spending half an hour here or there just grinding for experience or collecting rare loot. The game wasn't perfect, by any stretch, but it had a memorable story and nailed the distinct "old school RPG" flavor I sometimes crave. As a benchmark, I enjoyed it more than any of the first three Final Fantasy games, and probably as much as the fifth.

And then, of course, the game got hard. More specifically, one boss was hard. Hard enough that any and all flow the story had settled into ground right to a halt as I spent five hours across three nights just running around leveling up my party in the most mundane manner. I checked online for some leveling up strategies, and there weren't even any specific enemies that would make the process go faster. I must have attempted the boss of the penultimate dungeon six or seven times - and the entire dungeon beforehand each time - before he finally fell. And then it was twice as much of the same just to finally get to a point where I could beat the final boss. Look, I appreciate a little bit of level grinding now and again. There's something to be said about the progress you feel in any game where your character is too weak to win a certain battle, so then you go out and collect power-ups or otherwise make him stronger, only to come back and destroy what was once challenging with ease. But its damn near tortuous to spend five hours fighting the same old bad guys with the same old strategies just to get from "Level 38" to "Level 42." I know there are some gamers out there that crave this kind of shit. All due respect, but I have a life! Or at least I try to, and padding a great forty hour game with bullshit difficulty until it takes sixty hours to beat doesn't make the game better!

I had a few other issues with the gameplay. Changing jobs (ie, "soldier" to "wizard" reset your levels entirely, for instance, making it a pointless exercise after the third hour or so of playtime. And money felt just as hard to come by as experience, which meant whenever I found a shop with new weapons and armor, I was rarely able to buy ore than two items of the nine or ten I'd have wanted. But these quirks are forgivable. Absurd levels of boss difficulty padding are not.

I know Sween had a similar experience with Final Fantasy IX a few years ago - thirty hours to get to the end, fifteen more to finish it - but I also know that was at least a little bit self-imposed since he'd spent the majority of the game avoiding combat; when I played Final Fantasy IX, I was able to finish the final dungeon and boss in my first go-round (barely - Steiner was the lone survivor, with 4 HP) without ever really specifically grinding at all. Anyway, I know now how he must have felt then, souring on an otherwise solid story because the game didn't really ramp up in difficulty as much as it shot immediately upward very late. Oh well. Dragon Quest IX should have been a solid gem of a game. Instead, I'm left with a flawed aftertaste and less than wonderful memories. Too bad!

The Dead Zone

Okay, another King book, here's another list of things I knew about The Dead Zone before reading it: psychics, it got turned into a semi-successful tv series, and it's generally well-regarded among King fans. This one was a bit shaky for me, with parts I loved and parts that kinda bored me. A young teacher in Maine goes out on a date with a colleague, and on his way home later that night he gets into a car accident and goes into a coma for five years. When he wakes up he struggles with the fact that five years of his life have just passed him by; not only that, but some very latent psychic powers he had got turned way up over the course of the coma- merely touching people will often result in a psychic premonition. First thing, this book probably would have still been pretty great without the psychic angle. It was heartbreaking watching his girlfriend wait for years before moving on, and seeing him eventually deal with the fact that she has. The coma basically turned his mother into a religious nut, and combined with five years of hospital bills he now has to pay it's easy to feel for the guy. It's interesting just watching him try to put his life together in unexpected ways after a horrible accident. But King also throws in the whole "he's a psychic" thing and for the most part that's pretty great too- another unwanted change in his life that he's forced to deal with. But the whole thing ended with a kinda weird subplot that King had alluded to throughout the book but never really caught on for me. I mean, this book was great when it focused on a guy trying to push forward after his life is changed in big ways, so ending it with a political plot didn't make much sense to me. The last third of the book probably would have worked better as a sequel. Still though, I liked The Dead Zone.

Bonanza Brothers


Well, this sucked. You're a burglar. In two-player mode, I presume you and a buddy would each be a burglar. And you go around stealing shit from malls, mansions, museums, and the like. Each venue is outfitted with a host of security guards, policemen, you name it. Some are in full on riot gear. You can shoot, but your bullets aren't lethal. They just kind of stun the guards for a while. Why the hell wouldn't armed robbers be shooting to kill?

Since I already know I'll get to the end of the year and have no idea at all which of these games I liked and which I hated, I'm going to start a running ranked list for all these one-hour Genesis games. Bonanza Brothers kicks things off at the bottom.

Arrow Flash
Alien Storm
Alex Kidd in the Enchanted Castle
Altered Beast
Bonanza Brothers

January 5, 2014

Arrow Flash


Here's the best game yet from the Genesis project - a side-scrolling space shooter that felt like an undercooked R-Type. You're a spaceship. But you're also sort of a Transformer I guess, because you can turn into a Mega Man-like robot creature (see the cover art for a specific idea) who shoots the same guns as the spaceship. There was really very little difference whether you played as the spaceship or the autobot. You travel at the same speed either way, and one hit from an enemy always kills you. The only difference was your special weapon, which in robot-form was some sort of invincibility (think of Sonic's final smash in Super Smash Bros. Brawl if that's a helpful reference) and in ship form was just a giant barrage of bullets. I had some actual fun with this one, so, you know. Here's the new bar.

Altered Beast


The year is 1988. This came comes out and apparently makes enough of an impact on popular culture that references are made to it for years on end and its Wikipedia page is actually a fairly lengthy one.

The year is 2014. I play this game and fail to be even remotely enthused. It's just another side-scrolling beat-em-up, this one with way shittier and clunkier controls than the last one I played, Alien Storm. I know I'm only three games deep into "Carmen Sandiego and the Genesis 32" but so far it looks like it'll mostly be an uninspiring waste of time. Most of these games are arcade ports, making their runtimes something like an hour or two at a maximum, their only lengthening coming from how difficult it can be to beat them. This was actually a fairly tough one - again, the controls were clunky shit here - but with five total stages that lasted five minutes at most, I was able to finish up in an hour or two even with all the restarts. Like I said, this project seems like a largely uninspiring waste of time. Still, I'm glad to have a Sega Genesis, and who knows which random game I play will be a lot of fun?

Monsters University

 

Keith bought me this movie for Christmas because I really liked Monsters Inc. (which can you believe came out THIRTEEN yes THIRTEEN years ago??) I feel old. I told him I must have missed the second one and he said..."this is the second one". Why did it take them so long to make another? Anyway, I think I liked this sequel at 26 as much as I liked the first at 13. It was a whole other movie basically showing how Mike and Sully came to work as "scarers". It was a cute movie about two guys who everyone told they could never make it and how with perseverance and some luck they made it. I would recommend it as a good Sunday night, light watch. I mean... who doesn't still love Pixar as an adult? The stories always have things both kids and adults can relate to. This movie stayed true to that, gave me some laughs and kept me entertained for an hour and a half.

The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds

 As for right now I am just going to say. "Read Trevors Post." I will more than likely come back and edit this.

Downton Abbey Season 1



This is my post for the first season of Downton Abbey. Kara was insistent that I watch this show as we had watched several of my shows together. I figured it was fair that I gave it a shot to even the score. We watched the first season over 2 days. As there aren't many episodes this was fairly easy to accomplish. Heavy Spoilers to follow:

The show tells the fictitious story of the British family that runs Downton Abbey in a semi historically correct setting. The first episode features the family learning that the ship The Titanic has sunk. This news is especially important to the Crawley family because the heir to their Abbey, and ultimately their fortune was on the Titanic when it sank. The family then learns that there is a new heir, Matthew, and that their fortune is permanently linked to the Abbey. The rest of the season depicts the every day happenings of the house from dinner parties, to their daughters courtships and general upkeep.

The house and the story is divided into two factions. There are the family that "owns" the house and this includes the mother, father and three daughters. Notice there are no sons, therefore no heir in the immediate family. The other half of the house and the show is made up of the staff that runs the house. The staff includes the Butler, the female equivelant of the butler for the wife, the ladys maids that take care of the daughters, the footmen, cooks for cooking and the chauffeur to drive the, relatively new, car.

The season ends with some news that may change the scope of the family and the country as war is declared with Germany.

P.S. I am getting into the show. Please nobody tell Kara that she was right. I will never hear the end of it!