Attempting to remember which episodes of South Park came during which seasons of South Park is, at this point, a complete fool's errand. So take this with a grain of salt - but! - I think this was South Park's best season in years. It just felt very current, much more scathing and biting than it has in years, and ready to evolve make amends for some of its previous attitudes and stances. Like don't get me wrong, I laughed my ass off at "ManBearPig" being a ridiculous metaphor for Al Gore's global warming shtick thirteen years ago (holy shit) - but I've come around on global warming being, you know, not a shtick, and I'm glad to see that Matt and Trey have too. Likewise with their apparent left-leaning jabs at Amazon and Jeff Bezos. Now granted, this is South Park - nothing that happens on this show in any given year seems to affect the following years, so who knows? The show could suck all over again next year. #CancelSouthPark
December 29, 2018
Salt Fat Acid Heat: Season 1
Here's the cooking show on Netflix everyone is going apeshit over. It's good! But I don't think it's transcendent the way Ugly Delicious was. I dunno!
December 28, 2018
Steven Universe: Season 5
I finished Season 5 of Steven Universe somewhere back in like, July. Why didn't I write about it back then? Because I didn't know I'd finished Season 5 until this past week, when the premiere of Season 6 showed up on my DVR. Or is it even Season 6? Trakt.tv suggests that the most recent episodes are in fact both the latest in Season 5 and the beginning of Season 6. Look, Cartoon Network clearly doesn't give a shit about this show at all - giant hiatuses are one thing, but to air it so irregularly and with so little structure that nobody fucking knows what season you're on - oof. Guys. Geez.
That said, I was a huge fan of the fifth season of the show. Things seem to be headed toward an endgame, which is pretty cool given all the worldbuilding and character building that went on in the first few seasons. I have no idea if the new season, the sixth season, will be the show's last, but it seems unlikely that this show needs more than a seventh. Time will tell!
December 27, 2018
Collateral: Season 1
I remember virtually nothing about this four-episoder from Netflix. Carey Mulligan, murder case, British xenophobia. Like I said, virtually nothing.
Sorry For Your Loss: Season 1
Elizabeth Olsen was great here, but let's face it - the most notable aspect of this show was that it aired on Facebook.
December 6, 2018
Octopath Traveler
Take this with a grain of salt, because I'm really not thinking that hard about it, but it's possible that Octopath Traveler is the longest game I've ever played, with the end credits rolling for me after 70 hours and change. I don't mean that it's the game I've dumped the most hours into - plenty of multiplayer games and oft-revisited classics trump it easily on that front. And I don't mean that I've never spent more than 70 hours exploring the nooks and crannies of plenty of other games - RPGs in particular - what with all the optional sidequests and endgame content out there. What I'm saying is, insofar as any video game presents a "story" - a single-player campaign of some sort, whose completion is ostensibly the purpose of playing the game - I cannot currently remember ever spending more than 70 hours merely completing the story.
(Again, some caveats - this is an old-school JRPG with turn-based combat, so it's very likely that my playtime was padded immensely by repeated instances where I'd just sort of put the controller down for a minute or five without pressing pause in order to, I dunno, go to the bathroom, grab another drink, look up something on the Internet, what have you. But then, counter-caveat, by the midpoint of the game I was skipping cutscenes left and right, easily shaving off dozens more minutes of story. So.)
At any rate, it was a long-ass game! And frankly, a bit repetitive and a bit of a grind. I hated it sometimes! But also, I played it for more than 70 hours and generally felt the experience to be pleasant, relaxing, calming. It was a very easy game to play while watching low-stakes television or listening to podcasts
There's a lot I want to say about it, so let's jump in.
Characters
There are eight characters in the game - four men, four women - each with their own job class and skillset. The characterization was, all in all, very good. I got a very specific sense of their personalities and motivations for the most part, even if a few were pretty generic. The lone character I would describe as all-around shitty was H'aanit, a beastmaster of sorts who inexplicably spoke in Middle English (thou, finishedst, payen). Is this some weird-ass translation idea from a distinct old dialect of Japanese that works much better for a character covered in furs and living in the woods? I've got nothing! Beyond that, I mean, the thief was a thief - cocky, smug, prickish - the healer was a priestess with a heart of gold (obviously), and the honorable old knight was noble and courageous and all that jazz. Arguably the most interesting character was Primrose the dancer - and she was easily the bets in battle for me, though that could be because I chose her as my starting character. Primrose is this fallen princess from a sun-baked land - so, you know, "exotic," albeit not explicitly "of color" - who's hellbent on avenging her father to the point where she goes undercover as essentially a sex worker in a brothel just to gain some intel on his murderers. Her story was dark as hell and her character was fairly complex - she's the foil to the healer, basically, but over the course of her arc her anger gives way to more of a sadness, an emptiness. This made for a harsh juxtaposition with, for instance, the young merchant girl who's just excited to see the world and sell her wares. This brings us to...
Story
All over the place! Kind of a mess, honestly, and in my mind a real missed opportunity. See, the eight characters are all pursuing different things throughout the story. Why they meet up and interact at all is really a complete mystery the game never even tries to address. There's not unifying evil force here; each of the eight characters experiences four chapters in their story and their only interaction with each other occurs in these little optional dialogue scenes during stories. What this means is you'll be playing as the healer-priestess, a bastion of good and light in the world, and then you'll use the thief to pick a townsperson's pocket. And the game just never does anything with this. The dancer is running around the world trying to murder her father's killers, and then there's an alchemist who just wants to like, sell potions and shit, and there's no reason whatsoever for either one of them to help the other achieve their goal.
What I would have done, had I designed the game, is something like this. There are eight characters, right? This means that there are 28 distinct pairs of characters. I would have tried to make some sort of plot element revolving around each and every one of those pairings. The scholar needs to gain entry to a library, for instance, so the dancer goes ahead and seduces a guard for the key. The priestess needs to enter an old church, but it's locked - so the thief needs to pick the lock for her, and she gains some newfound admiration for him along the way. This feels like such an easy and crucial aspect of the overall story that was missing - these characters just don't interact with each other, at all. What's the fun in having an ensemble cast if you're doing eight individual and non-intersecting story arcs?
Gameplay
Pretty solid. I absolutely made hay out of the elemental attack abilities, and it's not clear to me that the game isn't broken in that sense - my dancer and my mage could each deal ten thousand damage to every enemy with a moderately boosted dual-casting of fire, ice, or thunder by game's end, without any buffs. Meanwhile, my best physical attacker - the knight? - could deal maybe two or three thousand at a time to one enemy with maximum boosting, and he also missed his attacks like half the time. Did anyone else have a similar experience?
One critique I have is that the random encounter battles were all fairly repetitive. The battle system emphasizes "breaking" enemies by using weapons or spells that they're weak against a certain number of times in battle, and by even the middle of the game a lot of the enemies required four or five hits to "break." Once broken, they're far more susceptible to all damage and generally you can kill them in one turn at that point - but this meant a lot of the battles were extremely easy, but very time-consuming. That feels like a design flaw to me, I don't know!
The boss battles - and in particular, the eight "final" boss battles - were a lot of fun. Plenty of strategy involved, and each one required what felt like a "battle plan" beyond "the healer heals, the knight wails away on this thing, etc."
But, one thing I'll point out is that the difficulty curve was sort of "off" all game. Because each of the eight characters has their own arc, the first Chapter 4 boss you hit is just insanely hard. You're underleveled, or at least not sufficiently overleveled! But by the time the last one rolls around, you're almost toying with it. If there had been a way to scale the difficulty of the final bosses - ramp up their levels and stats, maybe, for every Chapter 4 boss you've already killed - this probably would have been a more rewarding game.
All in All
I mean, it was good! I had my gripes with it, but I don't think there's a JRPG I haven't had gripes with in like, twenty years.
Anyway, glad to have this one finally beaten. Bring on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate!
December 4, 2018
Maniac: Season 1
What an enormously messy, silly, inconsequential thing. Lost the plot almost immediately, but it didn't seem to matter, as this whole miniseries was just one somewhat standalone episode after another, all taking place in some sort of virtual reality or simulation. In spite of not giving a shit about it... I dunno, I didn't hate it? It had its moments! It was fun enough, dumb enough, and didn't take itself too seriously, so, sure, why not watch Emma Stone as a 1950s special agent? Why not laugh at Jonah Hill's dumb '80s mullet in that one episode? A crying computer - sure, okay!
The Handmaid's Tale: Season 2
Marissa and I started this all the way back when it debuted - April? March? - and it was just such a tough, brutal watch. We got maybe three or four episodes in, out of thirteen, and put it back on the digital shelf for, like, six months.
I liked it, a lot. Probably not as much as the first season, but it was definitely "bigger" than the first season, darker, more harrowing. I know a lot of people hated the finale, and I sort of did too, but I mean, of course it was going to end that way. There's no third season if it doesn't, right? (And no way in hell is Hulu killing their award-winning drama after two seasons just because it's creatively run dry!)
Last Week Tonight: Season 5
It's not that I dislike this show - far from it - but man, I hope I'm not watching it in 2019. It just... doesn't... do anything. What is it accomplishing? I understand it's a comedy show first and foremost, but the jokes aren't really landing for me when the show proudly boasts that it has spent $20,000 on wax sculptures of presidents and Russell Crowe's jockstrap right after Oliver stonefaces a serious and biting critique on the immigrant crisis at the border, or Brett Kavanaugh probably being a rapist.
Kurt Vonnegut had a great quote that goes, "During the Vietnam War, every respectable artist in this country was against the war. It was like a laser beam. We were all aimed in the same direction. The power of this weapon turns out to be that of a custard pie dropped from a stepladder six feet high." That's how I feel about Last Week Tonight and SNL and The Daily Show these days, shaking their fists at the Trump administration's myriad misdeeds with all the effectiveness of... just, nothing. Nothing at all.
December 3, 2018
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Season 13
It's not entirely accurate to say that Always Sunny has been going strong, nonstop, for thirteen years. I can remember plenty of dud episodes here and there, lots of go-nowhere stories and character beats I could've done without. But man, it's impressive as hell that a show could hit its thirteenth season with this much of a confident stride. Just the idea that these goofballs were in their late twenties when this thing started, and are now in their early forties, and have only rarely missed a beat, all while working around their semi-burgeoning movie careers - I love it! Good on them.
Lastly, Danny DeVito is 74 years old and shaped like a bowling ball. God, that one is gonna sting.
Battlefield 1
Video games! Video games!
I'm not a huge FPS guy these days - and certainly not an online PvP FPS guy - but I was happy to plunk twenty bucks and six or seven hours of my time down on this World War I game. Five distinct stories - six, including the prologue on the front lines - and one's in a tank, and one's in a primitive airplane, and one's at the Gallipoli landing. It really was just an insane war, World War I, fought on horseback but also in tanks, using both airplanes and carrier pigeons. But what I really liked about this game - the first Battlefield game I've played, and far from a perfect game what with its fair share of bugs - was the diversity of the missions. Some would probably cite the campaign for not being long enough, but y'all know me - five hours spent as five characters in five distinct settings is just perfect, as far as I'm concerned.
Consider me marginally interested in Battlefield V, the new World War II game that follows the same campaign format as this one.
Homecoming: Season 1
Sam Esmail, Julia Roberts - sure. I was into this. My interest actually peaked midway through the season, and the ending left me a little cold. (What else is new?) Two very cool things happening here that made this at least memorable, if not great, television. One, the use of 1:1 aspect ratio. There's a reason no one uses it - it's confined and claustrophobic, especially on all modern televisions and device screens - but that's what makes it so noteworthy, with its thick black side panels and its jarring focus on the center of the frame. The second thing is that this was a '70s style conspiracy thriller of a show, but that it had half-hour episodes. God, the half-hour - I love the half-hour! That this was ten half-hours, and not five hours, somehow made it so much better in my eyes. Long live the half-hour!
November 24, 2018
Patriot: Season 2
Man, I absolutely loved this show in 2017. It was so, so niche, and so specifically felt like a thing that appealed to me directly. (Read my glowing review here: https://back-blogged.blogspot.com/2017/11/patriot-season-1.html)
I knew Season 1 would be a tough act to follow, and I braced myself for something... lesser, in Season 2. Frankly I was just thrilled that such an obscure and unheralded show was getting a second season. That said, holy shit, Patriot was even better than I expected it would be in Season 2. Now, that doesn't mean it was as good as Season 1 - lightning so rarely strikes twice! - but for the first half of Season 2 I was just completely loving it. The wheels sadly started to come off around the penultimate episode and the whole thing ended with what felt like a bit of a whimper - just way too dark, even for this show, but with the tiniest trace of closure for the series, which is bittersweet, because man I'd love to see a third season of this thing, but I'm just not sure where they'd even take it.
Anyway, watch Patriot. It's an absolute blast.
Ugly Delicious: Season 1
Here's an eight-episode food show on Netflix that Marissa and I have been watching since, like, March. I liked it a lot! The show features renowned chef David Chang traveling around the world eating food and talking about food and comparing food with a bunch of recognizable actors and comedians and food people.
If that sounds entirely ho-hum to you, it's not! It's not a pretentious show. The "ugly" right there in the title is as honest as it gets. Chang's not a handsome man, and he's constantly stuffing his face full of food that falls apart or drips down his chin. None of the dishes and meals are shot like traditional food porn, either - this ain't Chef's Table.
The first episode is called "Pizza" and in it, Chang and various friends eat authentic pizza in the heart of Naples and then also eat Dominoes. Then they go to Tokyo and have a tuna-and-mayonnaise pizza. Then they go to Frank Pepe's in Connecticut to partake in the famous clam pizza, the top-rated pizza in America. They eat smoked salmon pizza. They debate what makes pizza "pizza," and it's not nearly as "is a hot dog a sandwich" as it sounds like. They debate whether or not pizza is an Italian dish or an Italian-American dish. This is what the show is! It's David Chang traveling all over the place, eating food, watching food get made, at some of the best restaurants in the world, and talking about food and culture with his friends.
The best episode of the seeason was "Fried Chicken," which in addition to everything I described above (but with fried chicken instead of pizza) features some incredibly deep and diverse discussion about racial stereotypes and caricatures.
Weird enough, Ugly Delicious was just renewed for a second season yesterday, eight months after it debuted but more or less exactly when we finally finished it. Cool! I'll definitely be back for more.
November 19, 2018
American Horror Story: Season 8
Wow! This show again. I've already quit this thing twice, first in 2012 (mid-Season 2) and then again, for what seemed like for good, in 2014 (mid-Season 4). But then this season - the eighth, holy shit! - was pitched as a combination of Seasons 1 and 3 - you know, the only two of this show I've ever finished. How perfect was that? So I bit the bullet and dove back in for the first time in four years a few months ago, buckling up and preparing for whatever the hell might happen in American Horror Story: Apocalypse. And holy shit., you know what happened? Within the first ten minutes of the first episode, the apocalypse happened! Nuclear goddamn war, wiping out the vast, vast majority of the human population.
What followed was an absolutely incoherent mess of flashbacks and flashbacks-within-flashbacks as characters from Seasons 1 and 3 (and others, apparently) just sort of made their way into this narrative - most of them having died, already, in their respective seasons - and oh man the whole thing was just stupid and pulpy satanic worship stuff, where the witches from Season 3 end up saving the human race thanks to time travel and other various tricks. Sarah Paulson played three, maybe four different characters in this. What a mess! What a dumb, silly mess.
All that said, I didn't hate this. The seasons of American Horror Story that I've bailed on - Asylum and Freak Show - tended to dwell on the disgusting and the demented; by contrast, the two seasons I've completed, Murder House and Coven, were full of campy horror tropes - the first season a delightful and surprising modern ghost house story, complete with plenty of jump scares, and the third one just a big old witch-on-witch-on-witch catfight between old-timey racist slaveowners, voodoo queens, and bratty teen celebrities. So yeah - Apocalypse was ridiculous, and it didn't really hit on any sort of thematic or character-based, I dunno, significance? But it was an easy enough epilogue of sorts to those two seasons I'd at least enjoyed, a somewhat enjoyable crossover of sorts.
Lastly, some rankings. I've seen three full seasons of this show and bailed on two more, without so much as knowing what happened in the other three. but but me in whatever camp goes 1-3-8-4-2. God, some people just loved Season 2. Guys - I just couldn't, with that one! It had the distinct tone and atmosphere of the Saw movies, but with psychotic abuse and mental breakdowns in lieu of the dumb gore-puzzles. No thank you!
November 12, 2018
Kidding: Season 1
Here's a sneaky great one, a new show on Showtime that I've heard described as "what if Mr. Rogers had a nervous breakdown?" It's an accurate description, but it doesn't really do the show much justice. It was made by a screenwriter named Dave Holstein, but it's produced and at least partially directed by Michel Gondry, whose fingerprints are just all over this thing. Jim Carrey's here, cast perfectly as a sad sack of a Mr. Rogers figure who lost his son to a car accident and his wife to a divorce shortly thereafter, but who has to keep wearing a smile and singing happy songs on his PBS show every day. We've got Catherine Keener, Judy Greer, Justin Kirk, and Frank Langella all giving wonderful performances. Oh, and Tara Lipinski pops in briefly to portray a fictional, super-shitty version of Tara Lipinski. It's surreal and wonderful and I'm thrilled we're getting a second season of this totally unique show, this weird and darkly comic exploration of grief and parenting and human tenderness.
Here is maybe the best single clip that shows the whole range of what the show has to offer. I guess it's missing a lot of the fun, surreal elements, but, just give it a whirl and see if the raw, shitty emotion on display throughout this clip and the record-scratching familial reaction to it don't tickle something deep down inside you. Minor spoilers, I guess:
At any rate, this show came out of nowhere to become one of my favorites of the year. I can't praise it much more highly!
Apocalypse Now
Here's the second-to-last movie in my backlog, a DVD I must have bought all the way back in college, Francis Ford Coppola's famous Vietnam War masterpiece and Heart of Darkness adaptation, Apocalypse Now. Specifically, here's the "Redux" version, which clocks in at nearly three and a half hours.
I respect the absolute hell out of this movie, but I'm afraid it's not a perfect ten for me. How much of that comes from the run time of this alternate, extended cut? Probably plenty! I can easily picture a shorter and simpler version of this movie, a less meandering one, hitting home harder and more succinctly. But that is not the version I watched, and alas, not the version I am here to blog about today.
One more DVD, guys. One more and then finally I can shut the book on this ten-year project of watchign every DVD I own.
The Deuce: Season 2
Very glad that this show exists. There's too much TV out there these days, but it's nice to see that David Simon's still doing solid and methodical hour-long dramas that walk you right through a story without unnecessary diversions or go-nowhere plots. Every character here is here for a reason, every scene is here for a reason, and even if the show isn't exactly thrilling from start to finish, you never feel like your time is being wasted.
That's really all I want form TV now, is to feel like my time is not being wasted. Thank you, David Simon.
November 11, 2018
Succession: Season 1
I finished this show about a month ago, I think. Liked it, didn't love it, it had its moments, you know the drill. I gotta say, Succession never really appealed to me when HBO was running ads for it in the early summer. Only after I heard more than one person rave about this show was I like, eh, sure, fine, I'll give it a shot. And even then, it was my wife who wanted to watch it!
Gah. Be back for Season 2, I guess.
American Gangster
Shit, remember when I would post about movies on this blog? Yeah, this is the first Blu-ray I've watched in well over a year. It's just not a thing I do anymore. I'm sorry! (I'm not sorry.)
Two DVDs remain, and then I've officially completely and entirely eliminated my movie backlog.
This movie was really not so good. That's the only take I've got.
October 31, 2018
Borders: Season 2
Remember when I had some mildly positive and excited things to say about the first season of this "show?" Yeah, the second season was just the host hanging out in Hong Kong for a while, talking about the buildings there and the neon signs after running out of geopolitical topics in, no joke, two episodes. Short, though!
October 16, 2018
Big Mouth: Season 2
This is still a uniquely gross and off-putting show - really didn't need to see 13-year-old boobs and wieners, guys - but I also really respect that it's willing to tackle certain topics and subjects that no other show is. The introduction of the David Thewlis-voiced "Shame Wizard" - a creepy phantom who each kid gets judged by, but thinks only he or she can see and hear - really pulled everything together for me and let the awkward confusion of puberty and adolescence hit home.
Also, not for nothing, but the voice work is top notch here. Nick Kroll's doing the heaviest lifting by far, but John Mulaney and Jason Mantzoukas are just taking their characters to another level. There are too many talented people to list here, so I'll cut to the chase. My MVP is Jenny Slate as the braces-wearing horny nerd girl Missy Foreman-Greenwald. Every one of her line readings slays me! What a champion.
Forever: Season 1
Here's a weird one form Alan Yang (Master of None) and Matt Hubbard (30 Rock). It arrived a month ago with virtually no fanfare whatsoever, just showing up on Amazon after Fred Armisen and Maya Rudolph had that very weird bit at the Emmys to, I guess "promote" this show? And reviewers and critics were embargoed from revealing just about anything about what the show even was, which isn't necessarily a winning marketing move in 2018. I, for one, only decided to give the show a shot after I'd read some spoiler-laden reviews. I'm glad I did, and I'm going to go right ahead and also talk about exactly what this show is.
So, first episode, opening montage, we meet this couple. We watch them come together and grow comfortable and old with one another, all totally wordlessly like the opening of Up. Years pass, Maya Rudolph's maybe a little bored and tired after 13 years in this relationship, just doing the same old things all the time, year after year. So in an attempt to mix things up, they decide to go skiing for once. Plenty of standard hijinks ensue, and for a little while the whole thing feels like a weird anti-comedy, like why did all of these talented people get together and decide to make this off-beat but otherwise uninspired show? Then suddenly, Fred Armisen skis directly into a tree and dies and the episode ends.
Oh! The second episode's about Maya Rudolph coming to terms with his death, mourning, moving on, what have you. And then she also dies, chocking on airplane peanuts. And then she wakes up in the afterlife, which is just a regular old mundane suburban existence, and Fred Armisen's there, and he's so happy to see her. Okay. Okay, so this is what the show is. Now I get it.
The remaining six episodes (yeah, there are only eight total, each a half-hour. Isn't that nice?) begin to explore what it is to be in the afterlife with someone you were already growing kind of bored with. There's nothing really profound going on here, but I found it all to be an enjoyable and pleasant watch, like some sort of mellowed down version of The Good Place without the jokes. I mean there are jokes here, but the vibe's much more relaxed.
Apparently there's going to be a second season, and that's fine by me. I enjoyed this! It was nothing special, but I would very readily have a second helping next year. I use "comfort food" a lot here as an analogy for shitty shows that I can't help but stick with - guilty pleasures, really, would be a better term - but "comfort" food feels very apt here, like the whole thing's a warm bowl of soup or something.
Anyway, give Forever a shot, maybe.
October 15, 2018
Better Call Saul: Season 4
This is one of the best shows on television and it's gotta be considered top ten for the decade, but get out of here if your take is that this thing has surpassed Breaking Bad. That show was frought with absolute tension thanks to masterful writing, acting, cinematography, and editing. Just an overall masterclass example of tense and ultimately heartbreaking storytelling. This show might be even better at building tension with shots and editing, it might be just as wonderfully acted, and it might be just as well-written, but the biggest shortcoming with it is that we ultimately know the fates of virtually every character in the series. (And virtually all of them, on every side of this burgeoning drug war, get done in by the same angry chemistry teacher. Come on!)
I'm not suggesting that Better Call Saul isn't, you know, excellent. But I think too many people are too quick to diminish or forget just how good Breaking Bad was when they suggest this show is better than that one ever was. No accounting for taste and all, sure, and it's a hell of a ride seeing Mike and Gus and Nacho operating at their peaks. But what's left to do in this "world before Walter White?" I love this show, don't get me wrong, and it seems to find its way into my top five or ten shows every year. But Breaking Bad was never not my number one overall show in any given year. It's one of the greatest shows of all time! Gah. I'll stop now.
Lodge 49: Season 1
Total weird one. This was described pretty commonly by critics as being like The Big Lebowski, but I almost think that's giving the plot and story here too much credit. I'm a fan of Wyatt Russell's and have to admit that he's the least compelling part of this show (aptly named "Dud"), well behind his character's sister, Liz, and new friend, Ernie (both pictured on the couch in the poster above). I'll also admit that I lost the thread of the plot pretty quickly and pretty often on this one, but thankfully Lodge 49 doesn't feel like much of a plot-nbased show at all. This thing lives and dies on its absurd scenes, like when Ernie gets into a shirtless pushup contest at the wrokplace, or when Liz shuts herself in a refrigerator, or when Dud nearly crashes his car into a seal in the middle of the street, or when Liz tries to pull her couch across her living room by her teeth. It's all character-driven nonsense vibes, and if that's your bag, great. I think I simultaneously liked this less than I wanted to and also have myself convinced I liked it more than I did. A second season's been confirmed, which is almost a shame based on how this first one ends, and I really have no idea if I'll be back for more. Honestly? It may depend on when this airs in 2019. If they can accelerate the production schedule enough to make it a true summer show (like, with a June debut instead of an August one) then I think there's a better chance of me coming back than there is if this is airing in the typically densely-packed fall. Pairing this with Better Call Saul was, uh, interesting at best - and I know air dates and scheduling barely matter in 2018, when even DVR viewing is quickly being replaced by streaming, but still!
Wrecked: Season 3
Probably the dumbest comedy I'm still watching. What started as a Lost spoof in 2016 (yeah, I still can't believe that either) became some sort of forgettable cruise ship farce in 2017 and then this year turned into a Hunger Games parody of sorts. It's all so inoffensively dumb and the characters are just barely funny enough to keep me going, but man, this is exactly the kind of show I should stop watching if I'm serious whatsoever on cutting back on my TV hours. Two saving graces here are that it's such a short and easy watch (ten half-hours a season, and those half-hours are really like, 22 minutes each) and that it reinvents itself constantly, never staying in one place long enough to get completely stale. But oof. Oof, guys. What am I doing here?
October 1, 2018
Follow This: Season 1
Here's Buzzfeed's version of Vox's Explained. It was weirder and worse. Nothing else to say, really.
Man, this blog stinks lately.
Explained: Season 1
And here, in the latest installment of "what even is TV anymore?" we have Explained, a twenty-ish-minute weekly Netflix series about any number of things. (Is it made by Vox? Oh baby, you know it's made by Vox!)
A lot of these episodes were informative and interesting deeper looks into subject areas I knew only superficially about. At worst, these were no worse than boring middle segments of Last Week Tonight and at best they were that perfect blend of easily digestible and helpfully informative. Like I really can't say I needed to know more about K-Pop, and I really can't say I learned anything new about he gender wage gap, but I don't feel like the episodes on those respective topics were wastes of my time as much as enjoyable little informational videos. What's not to like?
Stan's Book Dump: Summer 2018
Play it again! I read six more books over the last three months. As always, you can read my trying-hard-to-sound-smart takes over on goodreads.com and you can read my stringing-multiple-words-together-with-hyphens-quality writing here.
Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami
Long-gone blog contributor Dee described this as one of her least favorite books by one of her favorite authors, and I can't put it more concisely than that. This is my third Murakami book after the very accessible and non-Murakami-esque Norwegian Wood and the very weird and surreal and Murakami-esque The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, both of which I absolutely loved. This I could appreciate, but it made no lasting impact on my brain beyond me trying to figure out how its two parallel narratives were linked. I was so underwhelmed by this - relative to the other two Murakami books I've read, I should stress - that I never even bothered to fill out a Murakami Bingo card, and trying to do so now I find myself unable to remember certain necessary details. Alas! For what it's worth, I still enjoyed and respected this book a great deal. Pretty sure I gave it four stars on goodreads. But for an author who'd earned nothing but unabashed fives from me, sure, this was a minor disappointment. That said, it definitely expanded my Murakami horizons and probably just sets my expectations better for future works of his - of which I have plenty.
Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Speaking of minor disappointments from authors I respect a great deal, here's Fitzgerald's final novel if you don't count the one he never finished. This was his favorite of his own works, and it's easy to recognize several of Fitzgerald's recurring themes here and thus easy to see why this might have been his magnum opus. First part's about a pretty young girl just star-struck and infatuated by a cool and confident older man. Third part's about that same man, aging and drinking and losing his cool and unable to hold onto that same young girl who used to throw herself at him. But none of the characters or motifs are as memorable as Nick or Gatsby or Daisy or that dang green light, and as such, the book pales in comparison to that one. (But hey, what's more F. Scott Fitzgerald than being unable to recapture the talent and magic he had as a younger man? Life imitating art, and so forth.) This was fine, and maybe even good. But it wasn't great.
Journey by James A. Michener
Here's an obscure little historical adventure novel by an author I've read once before, long ago. I dug it. Thanks to The Terror, I got way the hell into the story of the Franklin expedition earlier this year, this poor doomed travesty-mystery of a hundred or so men who set out to find the Northwest Passage and ended up iced in above the Arctic Circle for two years instead, starving and freezing and diseased and then dead. This is a very similar story about British pride and hubris in the face of the brutal Canadian wilderness. It's set in the 1890s and depicts the vainglorious attempt by five men to reach a place called Dawson in the Yukon territory without ever setting foot on American soil. Here, let me show you where that is and what that entails:
Ha! Buncha dumbasses! You can't tell from this scale, but Dawson is located on the Yukon River, which is navigable all the way out through Alaska to the coast. So, the easy way to get to Dawson back in the 19th century is of course just to sail there from, say, anywhere at all in the Pacific Ocean. Instead, our proud British boys catch the train from the eastern coast of Canada all the way out to Edmonton and then spend a goddamn year and a half trekking through byzantine lake-and-river networks and around mountains until they stumble at last into Dawson, way the hell after they wanted to get there and long after the gold rush there has ended. Oh, and a lot of them died. You almost get the sense that Michener was looking at old maps one day or something, and realized what an absurd thing it would be to try to reach the Klondike region by Canada instead of Alaska, and then wrote a little novel about doing exactly that. Probably not for everyone, but this history-and-geography nerd was into it, at least.
Authority by Jeff VanDerMeer
It's the sequel to Annihilation, and oh my God is it a snoozer. Where that book was thin and quick and just atmospheric as hell, this one is 400 pages of corporate office drudgery and conspiracy theories. Here's hoping the final book in the Southern Reach trilogy sticks the landing, because holy shit, this was a slog!
The Chapo Guide to Revolution by Chapo Trap House
I've been a big fan of Chapo Trap House this past year and a half or so; their "dirtbag left" jokes and takes and sensibilities have kept me sane during what's been a, uh, shall we say a wild ride? For those who listen to their show - and really, I can't imagine anyone else is buying this thing - the book offered nothing drastically new or different or even particularly insightful. But I mean, shit, it's a book in the political humor section at the end of the day, and the contemporary alternatives in that category are more or less John Oliver calling Mike Pence's pet rabbit gay.
Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng
I was just about blown away by Little Fires Everywhere, so I had high hopes for Ng's first novel, Amazon's 2014 Book of the Year. Eh. For whatever reason, this never really connected with me. I blame myself more than Ng or her book for that, as I just kept putting the book down for extended periods of time instead of sinking into it, investing in these characters, losing myself in their stories - but then again, doesn't it say something that I was able to keep putting the book down for weeks on end? This is the story of a family in crisis. Specifically, an Asian-American family in 1970s suburban Ohio hiding secrets from one another and harboring resentments and leaving just so many things unsaid, either out of embarassment or politeness or something else entirely. I can relate to that! I can even see a lot of my own family's dynamics in that. But for whatever reason, this didn't really register with me. Hey, so it goes!
So that's twenty books on the year. I'm on pace to finish 2018 with 26 or 27 reads, which would be my most since 2012. Not bad! Unfortunately, it's a far cry from the 30 I resolved to read in 2018. Ten more books in three more months? Fuck it, let's do this!
September 27, 2018
BoJack Horseman: Season 5
One of the simplest challenges in the current TV landscape is consistent greatness. Feels like every year a whole dozen new shows capture the zeitgeist for a hot second, make waves, earn that workplace cafeteria "hey have you guys seen -" buzz, and then fade away somewhere in the second season. It wasn't always this way! Only like five years ago, I could enter a given year knowing that Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones and Mad Men and Parks and Recreation would be four of the best shows on TV all year, and they always were, and that was that. But these days, whether its due to anthology formats, extended hiatuses between seasons, or the general glut of television in general, it just seems harder for shows to be consistently very good. The Americans just went out on a high note, but took a minor faceplant in Season 5. Fargo felt completely strained in Season 3 after being a consensus "best show on TV" candidate for two years. And plenty of reliable old comedies like Archer and Always Sunny have been inconsistent at best in recent memory.
Credit, then, to BoJack Horseman for a fourth straight season of very good television. The fastball is slipping a little, maybe - Season 4 was already a small step down from Seasons 2 and 3 - but this is still arguably the best show on earth when it comes to mixing absurdly stupid laugh lines with deep and cathartic emotional punches.
Nothing gold can stay, and creator Raphael Bob- Waksberg has been candid about how he could see this show lasting for ten or even twenty years, so it's going to be inevitable when - not if, but when - BoJack has a season that feels lazy or misguided or out of touch or uninspired. I mean, you can only burn so bright for a short amount of time - look at how quickly another wildly creative animated show like Rick and Morty hit a snag, and look at how deeply lazy and bad old stalwarts like The Simpsons and South Park have grown over the years.
Eventually, BoJack Horseman will get bad. But I'll take every season I can get until then.
September 20, 2018
American Vandal: Season 2
Here's my entire review of the first season of this true crime parody from Netflix:
It's a Netflix true crime parody about a case of high school vandalism. Someone has spray-painted a bunch of dicks on the cars in the faculty parking lot. But who? Starts out feeling like this dumb, trivial show, and frankly, that's what it ends up being. Still, I enjoyed it - and it ends with a big old gut punch that I shouldn't spoil. Eight episodes, half an hour each (or so). Give it a try, maybe.
Not very glowing, not very insightful, just a little ho-hum write-up about an enjoyable but forgettable season of television. I wrote that in October of last year, and then by December when all the "best of 2017" lists started coming out, imagine my surprise when I found just so much love out there for American Vandal. People were raving about how it Trojan-Horsed in all kinds of depth about high school sadsacks and how it was the first show about teenagers to explore what social media does to outcasts. Sure, fine - I can see that. but also, this was just an eight-episode show about spray-painting dicks onto cars! It's a thing that's making fun of - and in some ways, making light of - the real cases presented in Making a Murderer and Serial and the like.
Anyway, the creators of American Vandal clearly heard all your praise for their depiction of high school losers, because they're doubling down here in Season 2. Things were a little less funny and a little more nakedly moralistic the second time around, despite a bunch of poop-based pranks, and without spoiling anything major, I'll just say that catfishing and cybersecurity play a huge role in the story.
It was fine. Not sure if I liked it better or worse than the first season - probably just a little bit better? - but then, the idea that I haven't given it any real thought speaks pretty loudly about how I feel about American Vandal in general.
Here's a thought. How many high schools around the country have been subject to recurring, large-scale, shit-based pranks? And now, how many have been subject to school shootings? And, moreover, to sexual assault cases? I mean, I'm not suggesting that American Vandal should go ahead and do a school shooting or a rape season - both of those concepts would actually fly in the face of the low-stakes "whodunnit" nature of the show. But I guess I'm saying, hey, there's real shit that high schoolers are dealing with that could potentially be mined or referenced in some way, no? I mean, even just making one of the talking head interviewees to say something like, "I always figured he might shoot up the school someday, but making everyone shit their pants? Horrific."
Just some food for thought! There's probably some way to make a very poignant #MeToo season about a star athlete who keeps groping his lady classmates, or something. You know?
Anyway, the creators of American Vandal clearly heard all your praise for their depiction of high school losers, because they're doubling down here in Season 2. Things were a little less funny and a little more nakedly moralistic the second time around, despite a bunch of poop-based pranks, and without spoiling anything major, I'll just say that catfishing and cybersecurity play a huge role in the story.
It was fine. Not sure if I liked it better or worse than the first season - probably just a little bit better? - but then, the idea that I haven't given it any real thought speaks pretty loudly about how I feel about American Vandal in general.
Here's a thought. How many high schools around the country have been subject to recurring, large-scale, shit-based pranks? And now, how many have been subject to school shootings? And, moreover, to sexual assault cases? I mean, I'm not suggesting that American Vandal should go ahead and do a school shooting or a rape season - both of those concepts would actually fly in the face of the low-stakes "whodunnit" nature of the show. But I guess I'm saying, hey, there's real shit that high schoolers are dealing with that could potentially be mined or referenced in some way, no? I mean, even just making one of the talking head interviewees to say something like, "I always figured he might shoot up the school someday, but making everyone shit their pants? Horrific."
Just some food for thought! There's probably some way to make a very poignant #MeToo season about a star athlete who keeps groping his lady classmates, or something. You know?
September 10, 2018
Making It: Season 1
One of the most appealing things about The Great British Baking Show - or as it's called everywhere else, The Great British Bake-Off - is its exceedingly gentle and calming nature. There's something so nakedly melodramatic about the way so many competitive reality shows are edited and structured - manufactured beef between contestants, a toxic "every man for himself" mentality. But then you watch The Great British Baking Show and it's just a bunch of self-deprecating British people laughing nervously about how badly their tortes and puddings came out, and then one of them has to go home, and no one is harboring any bad blood or resentment or being petty, and it is not treated like a tragedy or a triumph or anything obnoxious like that.
Making It was a six-episode reality competition that just aired on NBC, and it borrowed heavily and heartily from The Great British Baking Show, right down to the format of the competition and the physical set up of the competition space - a big old barn in the middle of the woods. It was the perfect length, at six episodes, just enough time to really get to know the eight contestants and the hosts and judges without ever feeling needlessly long or padded.
Anyway, this is basically "Etsy: The Competition." Etsy ads were all over this thing and the whole competition was based on crafting. Make a last-minute Halloween costume. Make a child's fort. Make a non-traditional quilt of some sort. And so on and so forth.
Marissa taped the first episode because the show was hosted by Nick Offerman and Amy Poehler. And while I didn't need to watch "Etsy: The Show," we found it easy enough to watch Nick Offerman and Amy Poehler being generically pleasant and cheerful and positive to eight people just making shit with their bare hands. Do I need a second season of this thing? Fuck no, I do not. But it's a much more berable summer show - especially at just six episodes in length - than, like, MasterChef ever was.
Electric Dreams: Season 1
Here's Amazon's answer to Black Mirror, a ten-part collection of stand-alone episodes of science fiction based on the stories of Philip K. Dick. Right away, the immediate question is of course, how did they compare to Black Mirror? And I mean, truly, I think the best episodes of this show would be lesser episodes of Black Mirror at best. But! That doesn't mean this show is necessarily worse than Black Mirror as much as it means that these episodes aren't necessarily meant to look and feel like episodes of Black Mirror. And that makes sense. Where Black Mirror is about - loosely - "what happens when all this new technology we all use and love goes too far," Electric Dreams is much more of a mixed bag of far-future space travel and dystopian weirdness. One episode's got a straight up pig lady - not the point of the episode at all, just, a completely inconsequential character is a woman with pig ears, a pig nose, and pig hooves, and it's sort of tangentially related to the episode at hand, so hey, cool, whatever, great worldbuilding - but yeah, Black Mirror isn't touching something half that campy.
The other obvious question is, how do these episodes rank against each other? And you know what? I tried to answer this question, but just couldn't come up with a definitive ranking - me, a serial ranker. None of them stood out as excellent, none of them stood out as terrible - hell, some of them didn't stand out as anything at all.
That said, here's my best stab at arranging these episodes into, I dunno, call them "tiers."
Solid, memorable, impactful:
"Safe and Sound"
"Impossible Planet"
"Kill All Others"
"Autofac"
Something there, execution maybe slightly lacking:
"Crazy Diamond"
"Real Life"
Meh:
"The Commuter"
"Human Is"
"The Father Thing"
No impact whatsoever:
"The Hood Maker"
Meanwhile, here's a consensus of all the Internet rankigns I could find. It's hardly even a consensus - every episode on here was listed all over the place on various lists - but I rank-averaged all of them across every list and sorted them for whatever that's worth.
1. "Kill All Others"
2. "The Commuter"
3. "Real Life"
4. "Autofac"
5. "Safe & Sound"
6. "Impossible Planet"
7. "The Hood Maker"
8. "The Father Thing"
9. "Human Is"
10. "Crazy Diamond"
"Crazy Diamond," if you're wondering, is the one with the pig lady.
Anyway, that's Electric Dreams for you!
Disenchantment: Season 1
I kind of saw this coming, what with The Simpsons not being very good for, oh, 15 years now, and with the later seasons of post-cancellation Futurama petering out with a whimper, but Matt Gorening's new show Disenchantment left me... disenchanted.
The core characters are really just a re-tinkering of the Futurama line-up, with Princess Bean as Leela (an ass-kicking tomboy with disdain for the establishment and a heart of gold), Elfo as Fry (just adorably dumbfounded and unfailingly good and completely naive to the new world around him), and the little cat-demon whose name I forget as Bender (endearingly ego-driven and constantly ragging on humans).
The pilot was especially rough. And, sure, a lot of pilots are - but this thing felt conceptually leaden and heavy from the outset, whereas something like Futurama was bold and fresh and new and exciting from the first minute. There's a second season coming - technically a "Part 2," which, oof, come on now Netflix, can you cut that shit out already? - and to date there's no confirmation of a third. I'm not suggesting or even hoping that means Disenchantment was always meant to be a two-season series, but at this point I'm not willing to give it a third. Let's see how that second one goes, see if there are any meaningful emotional beats or arcs we haven't seen four times already in Futurama, and judge it accordingly. Because so far, this is an easy watch, but not much else.
September 7, 2018
The 2000s: Season 1
This CNN documentary provided a cursory but solid look back at the decade before this one. It was much more interesting than I thought it would be, having lived through it all. This was the decade in which I came of age (entered at 11, exited at 21), and thus the first one in which I was really "aware" of politics, current affairs, and international events. So this seven-part look back didn't really give me any new information or insight.
What it did do, however, was really organize the moments and events I recall into a narrative of sorts, if that makes sense. (Of course it makes sense - look at me, describing what "history" is.) You've got the weird Bush-Gore election, you've got 9/11 and Afghanistan and Iraq, you've got Katrina and Bush's second term failures. Then you've got the Obama campaign, alongside the financial collapse, and then the very early Obama presidency and the rise of the tea party. Alongside all of this, you've got an explosion of communications technology - we enter the decade reading newspapers, dialing up to connect to the Internet, we spend the decade growing more comfortable with memes and viral videos and social networking, and we close the decade with always-online, hyper-connected sleek computer-phones in our pockets. TV? It gets incredible. Music? The entire industry struggles with the death of the CD and emergence of the MP3, hip hop dominates, rock more or less dies, country enjoys a jingoistic resurgence.
I dunno, a lot happened! And yet, so little seemed to happen. The 2000s represent this weird cultural nadir in my mind, especially in the early part of the decade. I mean go ahead and Google something like "2003 Teen Choice Awards" or "2004 Big Brother Cast Photo" to get a sense of the prevailing, uh, fashion. When I think of that era I think of H2s and velour tracksuits and frosted tips. Spray tans and tube tops and acid-washed jeans. Flip phones and shitty HTML websites. I think of how the entire culture of the time seemed to be a direct response to 9/11, a loud and proud and emphatically "free country, bitch!" thumb in the eye of, shit, I dunno, taste and decency? But also clearly I existed in my own dumb bubble back then, this suburban white high school American mindset getting style tips from Mean Girls and The OC. Because while my dumb ass was focused on these things - I swear there was one winter where every girl I knew wore headbands and long sweaters and tights and ballet flats, which still blows my mind to consider - there was a six-year span that included 9/11 and the Iraq War and Hurricane Katrina and the collapse of the global economy, not to mention a golden age for digital information and communication technology.
Weird decade, man. But aren't they all?
August 29, 2018
Who Is America?: Season 1
I'm co-signing on a take from Todd VanDerWerff I heard earlier today: that Sacha Baron Cohen's Who Is America? is the most disappointing show of 2018 so far. Not the worst one, but one that had so much initial potential and instead found so little to say.
Step back for a second. What, if anything, do we have to gain by watching Baron Cohen pose as an effeminate NPR-loving coastal liberal with a gray ponytail and a pink pussy hat while telling a town hall full of blue-collar Arizona fifty-somethings that their town was about to become the site of a gigantic mega-mosque? I mean, what's the joke here? I'm laughing, and I'm cringing, I'll admit - but what's the takeaway? Working class white boomers in Arizona are xenophobic? Go figure.
Or how about when Baron Cohen plays an Israeli military hothead who meets with Dick Cheney and tells him he's a big fan of all the torture Cheney did, and calls Cheney out for shooting a guy in the face. "2007 called..." I mean, the character's a riot - hell, most of the new characters are - but the show just doesn't seem to exist for any reason beyond having a laugh at how stupid politicians and celebrities and regular people are. I mean, fuck, look around! We all have Twitter and Facebook, we all know full well how stupid everyone else is!
The worst and most annoying character was an InfoWars-style idiot called Billy Wayne or something like that, who just used illogical arguments and false data to tell, for instance, Bernie Sanders that "everyone can be part of the one percent," or to pass climate change off to Jill Stein as seasonal temperature fluctuation. This isn't funny! It's exhausting. You can go anywhere on the Internet and find a thousand such idiots every day.
I think what separates a show like this from Baron Cohen's earlier work is, frankly, ten or fifteen years of cultural change. Time was, if you posed as a foreigner doing interviews for an Austrian or Kazakhstani TV show, you could get Americans to really let their guard down, say some things they might not be proud to reveal to their friends and families and neighbors. Now, everyone's just a blathering idiot, perfectly comfortable putting their full name next to opinions like "I fully support locking crime alien kids in jail at the border" for the entire world to see. Even ten years ago, Sarah Palin was already making an enormous ass out of herself on national news.
Like, it really might have been something if Sacha Baron Cohen somehow, in disguise, got some U.S. official to admit to rigging elections, or got O.J. Simpson to admit to murdering his wife, or whatever. But he didn't! Seriously, this whole show accomplished nothing, and none of its characters are going down as being remotely as memorable as Ali G, Borat, or Bruno. Oh well!
The Affair: Season 4
The Affair is a show I really liked for two seasons. Then it fell off the rails in its third season. Here's its fourth, which falls probably somewhere in between. My biggest concern for the show as it enters its fifth season is that it's just completely run out of story to tell.
I've already talked about one or two of the most interesting episodes with Sween, the only other guy I know who watches this thing. For those who don't or haven't - but are still reading this for whatever reason - the series begins with an extramarital affair. Noah and Alison are cheating with each other on respective spouses Helen and Cole during Noah and Helen's summer trip to Montauk. The first season is told in alternating Alison and Noah perspectives, and it's interesting to see the Rashomon effect right out of the gate, with each of them remembering or even just interpreting events differently. Where does the truth lie? Probably somewhere in between, right?
Season 2 expands to include Helen and Cole's perspectives. Now Noah and Alison are getting married - meaning they've gotten divorced from Helen and Cole - and all four of them still manage to get brought back together by a needless but interesting enough tragedy and trial.
Season 3 - and here's where things go south - Season 3 jumps ahead by three years. Noah and Alison are already divorced. So now the show's just about four divorced people, leading four largely separate lives - occasionally interacting, yes, but otherwise just doing their own things. So almost entirely gone now is the initial gimmick of the Rashomon effect. We're only seeing most events through one person's eyes at this point, and frankly there's little reason for any of these characters to be hanging out together at all. The original couples still have kids and all, but what are we doing here? And to top it off, there's a fifth character completely needlessly brought in to have a fifth perspective, a French professor who never shows up again after Season 3. Why?
Season 4, finally, does come up with some organic reasons for these four people to keep coming back to each other. But it accomplishes this by - SPOILERS! - killing off both Alison and also Helen's new husband. (And not because the two of them had an affair or anything - wouldn't that have been an interesting wrinkle!) The show's upcoming final season is confirmed to be its last, but really, what's left to do or say here? Will they write out Cole, entirely, and leave us with a final Noah-and-Helen season about co-parenting in LA? Will Noah and Cole work together, or perhaps against each other, to uncover the truth about Alison's death? (It was ruled a suicide, but was it?)
August 28, 2018
Wild Wild Country: Season 1
Call me a broken record, I know, I know, but my biggest issue with this Netflix documentary miniseries was - say it with me - it didn't have to be nearly as long as it was.
Not much else to add here, really.
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